Daily Life of a Bicycle Cop
by K-Ghidorah
Summary: What is a mild-mannered bicycle cop to do when he finds himself living with some of the most dangerous mythological creatures in the world? Can he tame them, or will they tear him apart? This is based off/inspired by the fan-creation known as Everyday Life with Bicycle Cop. I've felt that it deserves a full story rather than single page mangas and fanart. Hope you all dig it.
1. Prologue

Prologue - Daily Life Under Suspension and Reassignment

In a non-descript apartment, a non-descript man tossed and turned in his non-descript bed, then bolted upright glistening with sweat. This non-descript man, named Satsuke Nakamura, is a police officer. His appearance can be best described as "painfully average." His short, black hair was only slightly unmanageable, making him glad that he had to wear a hat while on the job. He was not blessed with movie star good looks, nor was he cursed with a hideous visage. He simply never attracted much attention from many people, let alone from women. His only remarkable feature were his eyes, which had been described as intelligent and kind. These eyes were becoming more and more bloodshot, developing prominent circles from many restless nights plagued with recurring nightmares.

He had wanted to be a policeman since he was a boy. He wasn't following in his father's footsteps, nor his grandfather's. He instead chose law enforcement because of the bullying he received for being cursed with a girl's name. He was disappointed at first when he found out that his beat was to patrol the neighborhoods and the parks on a bicycle, and that he would never be a "tough" cop like Clint Eastwood's character in _Dirty Harry_. He grew to love his job, though. He enjoyed meeting new people, and being able to talk to the citizens he was protecting face to face made his job far more personal. He also came to appreciate that his job was good exercise, and he had thus developed a more athletic physique. Unfortunately, while he had always been dedicated to his job, he had a tendency towards being easily spooked and panicking when he was in a situation where he was in way over his head.

No, his life would never be like _Dirty Harry_ , but lately it had started to resemble one of the later _Police Academy_ movies because of the recent revelation of liminals. These liminals, also called demi-human or pseudo-human mythological creatures, had been kept hidden by the world's governments until three years prior when the Japanese government and the liminals' representative expressed the desire to cohabitate, thus breaking down cultural barriers. Satsuke had nothing at all against the liminals. In fact, he found them extremely fascinating, as well as very likable, overall. He had come to know quite a few of them while he was on his patrols, and there was even one that he found himself more than a little attracted to, specifically a friendly kobold that he often encountered doing her daily runs. Even with her vaguely canine facial features, he found her quite cute. However, it was her infectious cheer that won him over. The fact that her routine jogs resulted in an excellent figure was also a contributing factor. Were it not the prohibition on sexual relations between humans and liminals in the Cultural Exchange Between Species Bill, he would've loved to have gotten to know her on a more intimate level.

Since the Bill passed, liminals of many species had come to live with registered families so they could learn Japanese customs. In most cases, these cohabitations went quite smoothly. Others had a much longer period of adjustment. One of these involved Kurusu Kimohito, a young man that Satsuke was casually acquainted with. He first met the boy when he responded to a call regarding a young girl that was trapped on the high limb of a tree. By the time the policeman arrived, the girl was already safe on the ground, having been brought down by a harpy. Other than arms that ended in blue feathered wings and legs that ended in birds' talons, the harpy resembled a girl no older than twelve. A lamia was also at the scene with leaves in her long, fiery red hair showing that she had assisted in the rescue. She was a truly bewitching creature, with the hips of a belly dancer and full breasts. From the waist up, the only indications that she was anything other than human were strange red scales framing her cute face, pointed red ears, slightly pointed canines, and golden eyes with slit pupils. However, her lower half was that of a large anaconda with scales that shone like rubies. After his moment of elation that the girl was safe, he asked the two liminals who their hosts were. The Exchange Law required that any liminal is required to be with their host when out in public. The main exceptions were if the liminal is employed, or was appointed by one of their representatives. The lamia pointed to Kurusu as her host, referring to him as "Darling." This made the policeman chuckle inwardly. It was the harpy who hesitated. He remembered reading that harpies often had problems with short-term memory, so he gave her a moment to try to remember. When Kurusu stepped forward and declared himself as her host, he grew suspicious and asked for his papers. After watching the boy tense up for a seemingly interminable amount of time, one of the Exchange Agency's agents stepped forward with his paperwork confirming Kurusu as the harpy's host. The whole thing seemed off to Satsuke. Still, he understood the risk that the boy was taking on this harpy's behalf. This caused the policeman to genuinely like the kid. If it had turned out differently, he would have been left with no option but to have the boy arrested and the harpy deported, regardless of how Satsuke felt about it.

The first disturbing moment occurred when he was investigating a complaint in an old warehouse. He found the inside covered in large webbing which left a disgusting, sticky film on his fingers. Despite having no distaste for spiders, when he touched the webbed tendrils he felt a chill. It was the muffled scream he heard then that sent shivers down his spine and raised the hairs on the back of his neck. He recognized that he was dealing with a particularly dangerous liminal and that, not only would taking matters into his own hands cause a diplomatic incident, but also going in without backup was far too dangerous. His only option was to make a hasty retreat.

But this wasn't the worst thing he saw, not by a long shot. It was a particularly creepy night where he was investigating a disturbance in the local park and saw the same boy who stood up for the runaway harpy holding the severed head of a young girl, her skin blue as if she had been strangled before being decapitated. Now it appeared that the boy was, in fact, a cold-blooded killer. Then there were that girl's eyes. As he was taking notice of the girl's unique eyes, completely black with gold irises that seemed to stare directly through him, he felt a sharp blow to the back of his head, knocking him unconscious.

Since then, he pored over every complaint, arrest, and investigation, only to find nothing but the usual reports of destruction of public and private property. Because they all involved liminals and were thus declared "accidental," this was out of his jurisdiction. At any rate, he learned to ignore these petty crimes and even accept them as being inevitable until human society adjusted to accommodate the presence of liminals. Until the human world completely adapted to the presence of these people (for that's exactly what they were), these things were bound to happen.

However, cold-blooded murder was something he simply could not let go, and his concern grew to the point of obsession. This did not go unnoticed by Chief Shimizu, who strongly recommended that he take some time off with pay and maybe see a police-appointed psychotherapist. However, Nakamura knew that no amount of therapy would stop him from seeing that girl's eyes every time he closed his, nor would it stop his dreams of a sweet kid holding a severed head as if it were some gruesome trophy. He knew that there would be no therapist alive who could stop him from washing his hair as if trying to scrub the memories out of his brain, causing him to rub his scalp raw. After the umpteenth time of feeling the conditioner sting the many deep scratches on his head, he made a mental note to see if the pharmacy could recommend anything.

x

The following morning, Satsuke awoke in a stupor. He was finally able to sleep without dreaming, but the sedatives he was given were extremely heavy and put his head in a fog that wouldn't go away. A thirty-minute shower lifted the haze somewhat, but even then, he almost shaved his face using toothpaste instead of shaving cream. The young man knew that he was in no mental condition to try to make breakfast or brew coffee for himself, so he dressed himself (making a note to put his shoes on the correct feet) and walked to a convenience store down the street from his apartment building. As Satsuke gained full consciousness, his mind eventually wandered back to what had been plaguing it for so long. So distracted was he that he bumped hard into someone. He saw that it was the kobold that he used to see on his patrols, and that she was sprawled on the sidewalk. "Oh my God," he said as he helped her up, "I am so sorry. I should've been paying attention. Are you all right?"

She looked up and smiled cheerfully. "Oh, hi Officer Cutie!" she replied. "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about it! I almost never pay attention when I'm on a run. Are you okay? You don't seem like yourself."

"Yes, I'm fine. I've just had a lot on my mind. Think nothing of it."

"Okay," the kobold said, patting Satsuke on the arm, "Take it easy, you hear? See you around!" With that, the kobold sped off.

Satsuke smiled and blushed a little bit from the kobold's flirting. It cheered him up enough for him to decide on his next course of action. He easily learned where Kimohito lived thanks to his ready access to police records. He knew that to investigate this matter would risk the job he loved so much, but it had gotten to the point where he could not have any more sleepless nights, no more nightmares. The only way to set his mind at ease was to get answers, and quickly.

It was much larger than he had previously imagined, but he realized that it had to be, given the kind of liminals he had living under his roof. The young officer felt a lump in his throat as he looked down the walkway leading up to the front door. He took a deep breath to steel his nerves, then began walking up to the door. He desperately hoped that either he had imagined the whole thing, or that it was all just a horrible misunderstanding. After all, he genuinely liked the kid and didn't want to think that he'd be capable of strangling and dismembering some innocent girl.

Before he realized it, he was at the front door. He took another breath and knocked, repeatedly whispering "this is only a social call" as softly as he could. "Can I help you?" an unearthly voice queried, making him leap from his skin. "Oh, it's you."

Satsuke opened his eyes, and what he saw made his heart skip a beat. Before him stood that girl, strangely intact and apparently alive. Her expression was perfectly blank, with those very eyes that had haunted him since that fateful night, boring holes into him. "I-I-I," he stammered, "I thought you were dead!"

"Foolish mortal," she uttered, pointing at him. "Clearly you don't understand that you are in the presence of Death Incarnate. When your time comes, it shall be I who shall possess your soul, dragging it past the very gates of Hell!

"I am, however, grateful for your concern for my welfare," she concluded, lowering her hand, "and for this, you have my gratitude."

"Ummmm... you're welcome?" Nakamura replied, completely deflated.

It was at this point that the police officer realized he was in the presence of a liminal. He noticed that this girl was certainly quite attractive. Her skin was a pale shade of blue, and her straight, white hair cascaded down her shoulders. Her figure was petite, yet voluptuous, and it filled out her rather anachronistic outfit very nicely. Covering her blouse was a coat of ebony armor, and her right hand held a notched scythe. _How has she not been arrested for having that thing_? he mentally asked himself.

"Lala-chan," a familiar voice called from down the hall, "are you scaring visitors again?"

Within moments, Satsuke Nakamura stood face to face with the center of his unofficial investigation, Kurusu Kimohito. "Oh, hello Officer!" he greeted the still-dumbfounded policeman with a sheepish smile. "How can I help you?"

Nakamura relaxed and said, "It is a very long story. May I come in?"

"Am I in trouble?" Kimohito asked, somewhat suspiciously.

"No, thankfully," the policeman replied, smiling warmly. "Your charge here proved without a doubt that you're not in trouble."

"It's about that night in the park, isn't it," Kurusu said. He then put his hands around Lala's head and easily took it off. "She's a dullahan," he concluded matter-of-factly.

"I would appreciate it if you would cease treating my head in such a casual manner," the head spoke as her body started flailing about trying to get it back.

The ludicrousness of the sight made Satsuke roar with laughter. "I found her body trying to find its head," Kurusu said. "I just couldn't leave her like that. Besides, who knows what would've happened to her if I didn't try and get it back for her?"

The policeman clapped the young man warmly on the shoulder and smiled. "Mortal," Lala's head said, "I demand that you return my head to my body."

Kurusu laughed, then handed the head back to her body, which had its hands on its hips and was tapping its foot impatiently. "Come in, officer," he said. "I'll make some coffee."

Once the young girl reattached her head, the group went down the wide hallway. Despite its palatial proportions, it was decorated no differently than most homes. Pictures of family and his liminal homestays lined the walls, and small house plants adorned the simple tables along the hallway. The smell of fresh paint and plaster told the policeman that the house had undergone recent renovations and repairs. _It's very likely that this house didn't originally look like this_ , he thought to himself.

Satsuke was led into the living room, which he noted looked like it was bigger than his entire apartment. Playing video games was that same harpy who rescued the little girl. "Oh hi!" she said, waving a wing. "I'm Parpy the Papi... or is it Harpy the Papi... Pa-pa-pa-..."

The policeman was left scratching his head trying to decipher what the harpy's name was, or at least hoping she would eventually figure it out for herself. "Oh, don't mind dear Papi," a beautiful, almost melodic voice said from the doorway, "she can be flighty sometimes."

The voice belonged to one of the most beautiful creatures he had seen, human or otherwise, wheeling herself into the room via a wheelchair. He found it strange that she was wearing a Gothic Lolita maid's outfit, but Satsuke felt that she wore it extremely well. Her pink hair flowed down to her waist, and her eyes were as blue as the sea. Curiously, instead of ears, it seemed like she had fins, as well as webbing on her hands and odd slits along her ribs. When he looked down below her waist, he understood that he was in the presence of a mermaid straight out of a book of fairy tales. Soon, Kurusu entered the room bearing a tray with two steaming coffee mugs. "Ahh, Officer Nakamura," he said with a smile. "I see you've met Mero."

"A police officer officer?" Mero asked, her eyes lighting up. "It is an honor for me to meet a dedicated defender of the citizens of this lovely town. What brings him here, Dear Sir?"

"He saw me with Lala's head," the boy replied.

"Oh, dear," the mermaid said. "It is understandable that would bring you here. Thankfully, it was a dreadful misunderstanding that we could've done better to prevent. However, I truly admire your dedication, Officer, and I trust any suspicions about Dear Sir have been cleared."

Satsuke felt as if he was being praised by a princess, and fought the urge to kneel before her. "Your words honor me, Mero-san," he said with a smile. "Yes, any suspicions I had regarding Kimohito-san have been lain to rest."

"Darling," another voice, this one familiar to the policeman, called from down the hall, "do we have company?"

"Yes, we do," Kimohito responded.

Soon, the group was joined by the other liminal, the one whom he wished would have haunted his dreams instead, specifically the lamia who assisted Papi in the rescue. She dressed very simply, yet fashionably, with a pink shirt over a black top and a form-fitting denim miniskirt. "Oh, you're that policeman we saw in the park a few weeks ago," she said. "Is Darling in trouble?"

"Not at all, Miss," Satsuke replied. "And you are…?"

"I'm Miia," she replied with a smile that melted the policeman's heart. "If Darling isn't in trouble, what brings you here?"

"Miia," the boy replied, "he's here about the night we were searching for Lala's head."

The lamia screeched reflexively and turned to Kurusu with mild anger. "Don't remind me of that night!" she whined.

"Miia had such a fright when she first met Lala," Mero said.

"Yeah!" Papi added. "She's scared of detachable heads!"

"Shut up, birdbrain!"

"Cease this commotion at once!" an authoritative voice shouted from the doorway.

The policeman looked to the doorway and saw one of the few other liminals that he knew of from stories he read as a young boy. From the waist up, she was a very stern-looking woman whose white blouse struggled to contain the largest bust that Satsuke had ever seen outside of lewd anime. Her long, blond hair was tied in a ponytail, revealing pointed ears covered in brown fur. From the waist down, her body was that of a well-muscled horse and covered by a very large skirt, presumably for modesty. Around her human waist was a leather belt with a long scabbard containing a claymore. _What is it with these liminals and their weapons_? he mentally asked himself. He then remembered the day he arrested a purse-snatcher that had been terrorizing the neighborhood, and that the thief was being chased by a centaur. _Could that have been her?_ he thought before dismissing it as meaningless coincidence.

"Is this the way you two behave when we have guests?" she said. She then turned to the policeman and said, "I am Centorea Shianus, a knight of the proud centaur race! I have sworn lifelong fealty to My Lord, and will thus defend him with my very life."

"I am Officer Satsuke Nakamura of the Fukazawa Police Department," the young man replied with a bow. "It is an honor to meet you, Shianus-san."

Centorea's expression softened somewhat. "So, in a way, we share a similar calling: to uphold justice and protect the weak and the helpless," she said. "The honor is mine, sir.

"So, what brings you to our humble home?"

"You mortals surely know that I am still here," Lala's ghostly voice said from a chair by the dining room table. With that, she took her head off and poured her coffee down what must have passed for her throat.

Miia screeched, "Damn it, stop that!"

The centaur nodded. "So, you are the one who found us in our search for that one's head," she said with a frown. "The timing of your discovery of our search was unfortunate. Had we met sooner, we would have gladly enlisted your aid."

"It is nothing at all," he replied. "Well, I should be going. It was truly a pleasure to meet you all."

The boy rose and politely escorted the policeman to the front door. "Thank you for stopping by," he said with a smile. "I'm glad we could get this whole mess sorted out. I'm sure this must have been weighing on you."

"I am, too," Satsuke said. "Now, be good!"

The policeman strolled down the sidewalk, finding himself smiling for the first time in days. He felt that he could finally put his mind and heart fully into his duties without the thoughts of a gruesome murder constantly plaguing his thoughts. So elated was he that he didn't notice that a black sedan with tinted windows was parked across the street from Kimohito's house, nor that it drove off as soon as Satsuke left.

x

The following two days found Satsuke feeling rejuvenated. Ever since his meeting with Kurusu Kimohito, the nightmares had stopped and he was finally able to get restful sleep without heavy sedatives. He took a day to catch up on his housework, and he even took a leisurely stroll through the park to enjoy the scenery, something he hadn't been able to do for a long time. It was at this moment that he felt like he could go back to work and concentrate on his duties as a police officer. So, it was on this day that, after a refreshing shower and a breakfast he could finally enjoy, he donned his uniform and rode to work.

It was when he entered the precinct building that he felt as if something was wrong. Every coworker he passed by stared at him as if he were a condemned man on his way to the gallows. _Just what is going on here_? he asked himself. _I had better go see the chief and report for duty_.

Satsuke was ready to knock on the office door when it flew open. Chief Shimizu, a very imposing figure, stared at him with undisguised anger. "Nakamura," he growled, "get your ass in here."

The young man immediately felt very small, and meekly walked into the chief's office. "Shut the door," he commanded. The moment Satsuke closed the door, Shimizu yelled, "Just what the hell were you thinking, Nakamura?! I thought I told you to let the whole thing go! I can't have one of my officers investigating whatever they want without my authorization!"

"Aye, sir," the policeman replied, doing his best to remain stoic.

"Shut up, Nakamura! I've got a good mind to fire your ass right now!" Shimizu shouted.

"Forgive me, Chief," Satsuke said, bowing obsequiously. "I promise that it will never happen again."

"You bet it won't!" the chief yelled, pounding his desk. "You're damned lucky that when I spoke to that kid, he spoke highly of you. In fact, he urged me not to fire you or even punish you! Furthermore, he went as far as to praise your dedication."

After speaking of Kimohito, the chief calmed somewhat. "I can't say I entirely disagree with him. I've never had an officer as dedicated as you are in all my years on the force. That being said, I have no choice but to suspend you without pay. I must ask that you turn in your badge and your gun until further notice."

Satsuke was crushed. He barely even noticed his hands slowly placing his badge, that very symbol of everything he represented, onto the chief's desk. He knew the risk he took by going to Kimohito's house, but he thought that it would all blow over after such a pleasant visit. His walk home was dominated by the feeling that everything he had built for himself was crumbling away. The rest of the day was spent staring at the television while watching nothing at all. He couldn't bring himself to care or even eat. That night, he stumbled into his bedroom and collapsed onto his bed, then cried himself to sleep.

x

An indeterminate amount of time passed with Nakamura sitting in his boxer shorts staring at the television. He ate only when the growling in his stomach became unbearable. He was unaware that days had passed doing the same thing. He didn't know or care that it had been days since he left his apartment. He barely noticed that food was becoming scarce, his pantry having only a few packets of ramen and his refrigerator practically empty. He was also unaware that someone was in his apartment with him. "My, aren't you a pathetic sight?" a feminine voice said.

Satsuke screamed, then turned to face his uninvited guest. "Take whatever you want," he yelled, "not that I have very much."

"What I want, Nakamura," she replied, "is you."

He looked over the woman in his apartment. He recognized her as the agent whose impeccable timing saved Kurusu from being arrested and Papi from being deported. She was tall, and quite beautiful. She wore an official-looking black suit, her form-fitting skirt coming down just above the knees of her long legs. Her frame was slender, perhaps a little too much for his personal tastes. Her hair was as black as her suit, spilling past her shoulders. Finally, she wore dark sunglasses despite the room being dimly lit.

"Who are you?" Satsuke asked after calming himself down.

"I am Smith, the Interspecies Exchange Coordinator," she replied. "I understand that you are in a bit of a predicament."

Any attraction he may have felt slipped away by how smugly she addressed him, and how she seemed to be mocking him. "What do you want with me, Smith-san?" he asked.

"I have a proposition for you," the agent said with a smile. "In return, you will receive full reinstatement of your duties as a police officer with full pay, including back pay for, shall we say, your days off. The chief has already approved of our proposal. In fact, he highly recommended you for this job."

Nakamura was elated at first, until he became suspicious as to this woman's motives. "So, what do I have to do?" he asked.

"We with the Interspecies Exchange frequently get exchange students who can be, shall we say, difficult to place. Often, it is a matter of frequent rejections by prospective host families, and sadly, many of them have to be sent back if they are rejected too often."

"Why do their hosts reject them?" Satsuke asked, dumbfounded that such a thing actually took place.

"Most of the time, they simply don't get along with their host families. Other times, it comes down to outright threats. You have undoubtedly noticed that liminals are often a lot stronger than we are, so we have to take these threats very seriously, or else there would be a diplomatic incident."

"So why me?"

"You have a reputation of treating people fairly and respectfully," Smith replied, her tone serious, "regardless of their species. Everyone we have asked speaks very highly of you, Nakamura.

"So, will you take the job?"

"I can't," Nakamura replied, deflated. "It's not that I don't want to, believe me. It's just that I simply don't have enough room in my apartment to accommodate multiple liminals. Hell, there's barely enough room for just me."

"The Agency will provide you with new living quarters, specifically designed for even the larger species. We will also recoup your living expenses, including food, utilities, as well as any necessary repairs and remodeling. You will also be provided new furniture, as what you currently have will seem very small in your new home. We will even hire personnel to move your clothes and other personal possessions."

Satsuke felt like he was making a deal with the devil. Still, the reason he loved his job was the potential to make a positive difference in people's lives, and this was an opportunity to be there for liminals who needed someone like him to accept them without question or hesitation. "I will need some time to think about this," he said finally. "This is a huge undertaking which, while I am honored you chose me, I'm not sure I'm qualified for."

Smith frowned, then placed her card on his coffee table. "Call me when you've decided," she said, turning to leave. "By the way, your coffee is terrible," were her parting words.

That night, the young man laid on his back on the mattress, unable to sleep. He couldn't help but feel violated by Smith inviting herself into his home, and her occasional tendency of speaking condescendingly towards him. On top of it all, she had the nerve to complain about his coffee. However, his mind constantly went back to her offer and just wouldn't let it go. "Oh, screw it," he muttered after another hour of tossing and turning.

He got up and went back to the living room where her business card waited for him. Picking up his phone, he dialed the number, not caring how late at night it was. "It serves her right for showing up unannounced," he said to himself indignantly.

"Hello?" a bleary voice answered. "Oh, hello, Nakamura-kun."

"I'll do it," he said, then hung up.

He then went back to his bed and collapsed, falling asleep immediately.


	2. Case Docket 1

Case Docket 1 - Daily Life Under Heavy Adjustment

Satsuke rode in silence in the passenger seat of Smith's car, his badge and gun on his lap. Everything felt unreal to him, as if he were dreaming. The silence was palpable and awkward, and the ride felt very long despite the actual distance being short. Eventually, the car stopped in front of what was to become his new home. Even in his sour mood, he couldn't help but be taken aback. The house was very impressive to him. It didn't look like a mansion by any stretch of the imagination, but it was impressive enough that he wondered how much it had to have cost. "Do you like it?" Smith queried with a smile.

The young man was at a loss for words, so he simply nodded. "Your things have already been moved and arranged," the agent continued. "Now, while you have your job back, you have been delegated to doing paperwork for now, and, due to the girls' need for round-the-clock supervision, you will be working from home. A representative will be by every day at 5 p.m. to collect the paperwork you have filled out. Once the Agency has found your performance to be satisfactory, you will have your patrols back.

"Shall we begin?" Smith concluded with a wry grin.

The pair stepped out of the car and were met at the door by what looked like a young woman wearing a yellow flak-jacket from a distance. Up close, Satsuke couldn't help but shudder a little bit. While she was very pretty, with short, stylish red hair and an attractive figure, her skin was practically a patchwork of different skin tones stitched together. Even her eyes were strange to him, appearing to have come from two different people. "Hey there," she greeted him with a slightly gravelly voice, "you must be the fresh meat."

The policeman was about to protest until she grinned at him with teeth that appeared almost serrated. "Nakamura-kun," Smith said, "this is Zombina of the Monster Ops: Neutralization force, or MON. She will be the representative who will be picking up your paperwork at the end of the day. I trust you two will get along well."

"Well, hey," Zombina said, still grinning, "how's about we take you on a tour of your new digs!" She then reached for the knob and turned it. However, her hand came off when she tried to pull the door open. "Damn it," she muttered, "my stitches came loose again."

"Please, Zombina-chan," Smith said as she gave the other woman her hand back, "you really need to pull yourself together."

"Yeah, yeah, that joke's still funny after the 200th time hearing it," the zombie retorted, attempting to roll her eyes but only succeeding with one of them.

"Please," Satsuke said, opening the door, "allow me."

"Heh, he's cute and a gentleman," Zombina said. She then grabbed his butt, making him yelp in surprise. "Yeah, we're gonna get along just fine," she said lecherously.

After a brief tour, the police officer was escorted to his large living room where a stack of paperwork nearly a foot tall waited for him. When she saw his reaction, Smith laughed and said, "Relax, those aren't due until tomorrow afternoon." She then handed him two folders and continued, "We will need you to sign these now, however. This is the data that we have on your two current homestays. You will be signing the standard releases stating that you are their guardian and that you take full responsibility for their future actions."

After Satsuke nodded, the agent continued. "There are also waivers barring the Interspecies Exchange Agency from any legal action for any injuries you may incur." Seeing him raise his hand to protest, Smith laughed. "Relax, Nakamura-kun," she said, "the Agency will pay for any hospital stays you may need, including routine doctors' visits."

The police officer began reading each of the files as he signed them. The first of which belonged to a mermaid called Mako, also known as "Mako the Merciless." His other homestay was an arachne named Tara. "Don't let Mako's nickname scare you," Smith said. "She's actually quite friendly, if a little unorthodox. Her room is down in the basement when you are ready to meet her. As for Tara, I should warn you that she can be a little temperamental. However, it is unlikely you'll be seeing her much as she largely keeps to herself. Her bedroom is up in the attic."

"That doesn't seem right," the young man said, feeling sympathetic to the arachne already.

"Actually," Zombina said, "that was the room she picked. Relax, we finished it to look like a normal bedroom, so she's as comfortable as she can be. Besides, you won't need to worry about bugs ever again!"

"I suppose not," Satsuke sighed as he finished signing the girls' forms. "You needn't worry about me being uncomfortable with her. I have no problem with spiders."

"Funny," the zombie said, elbowing him in the ribs, "I seem to remember a particular night at a warehouse. You ran and screamed like a little girl!"

"Oh, come now, Zombina-chan. There's no need to tease the poor man," Smith said with that condescending smile. "After all, he was alone and in a dangerous situation." She then stroked his cheek as if he were a child. "You can't expect him to go charging into a dangerous situation out of his jurisdiction like that without backup like a cop in one of those silly American films."

Nakamura found himself hating Smith; she seemed to know exactly which buttons to push on him, and in all his life, he never felt as insulted as he did in this moment. "Relax, pal," Zombina said, clapping his shoulder. "You did the right thing. After all, arachnae can be pretty nasty customers and should be left to professionals like me and my crew. Plus, I hear that even a lot of spider lovers can't stand the webbing. At any rate, it's not like you could've legally done anything, anyways! Don't let Agent Smartass get to you."

Satsuke felt his initial discomfort around the undead woman slipping away, and even found himself genuinely liking her. While she was brash and rude, he found her oddly charming. He couldn't say that she was at all unattractive either, despite her being a chaotic mish-mash of parts from different cadavers. "Well, well," she said, noticing the young man assessing her. "Looks like someone is thinking about experimenting with necrophilia! I think it'd be okay, too. After all, the law only applies to non-humans. It's a little hazy with regards to folks who were formally human like me.

"And you don't need to worry, hon," she continued, touching his cheek, "I can be very discreet when I want to be. After all, dead girls don't usually say no. So whaddaya say we go back to my place and crack open a cold one?"

"Now stop that, Zombina-chan," Agent Smith chided, "we can't have our friend becoming a zombie. Nakamura-kun, when you are done signing the releases and the girls' paperwork, we can get out of your hair so you can make yourself at home."

Satsuke signed the last of the forms and handed them to Smith. "We'll be in touch," she purred.

Soon, the two women took their leave of the young policeman, and he felt a certain relief when he heard the door close. He looked at the mountain of paperwork with a sense of dread, but at the same time, he was grateful to be able to finally work. "Well," he said aloud to himself, "I should go about meeting my two housemates."

Satsuke decided against introducing himself to the arachne, choosing instead to meet the mermaid downstairs. He remembered how Smith described her as "unorthodox," but given his previous meeting with Mero, he felt that his meeting with Mako should go smoothly. In his search for the stairs to the cellar, he noticed that an elevator had been installed. He deduced that it was so the wheelchair-bound mermaid can easily navigate the two floors at will. "They really thought of everything," he remarked with a smile. "I guess Smith might not be so bad."

As much as he wanted to try out the lift, he felt that he should know exactly where the stairs were in case the elevator broke. Upon reaching the lowermost level of the house, he found himself in what appeared to be a typical basement. He saw what appeared to be a large furnace in the far corner, with an industrial sized washer and dryer against the wall to his right. To his left was a door, adorned with a sign bearing the legend saying "Here Be the Quarters of Mako the Merciless" in crude writing. Satsuke politely knocked, but only heard a faint sloshing sound beyond. He tested the knob and found it unlocked, so he opened the door slightly. "I'm coming in," he said through the door.

When he stepped into the room, the first thing he noticed was the smell of salt water, making him think of his childhood visits to his uncle's beach house. _It makes sense_ , he thought to himself. _After all, she_ is _a mermaid_. Against the wall to his left was a large black flag bearing the Jolly Roger, a poster with what appeared to be Errol Flynn when he starred in Captain Blood, complete with cutouts of pink hearts, and several art prints with pirate ships. Completing the ensemble was a mount bearing two crossed cutlasses. _So_ , he mused with a chuckle, _she likes pirates_. When he turned to the pool, he saw a wheelchair with a smaller Jolly Roger flag propped up on one of the handlebars. Assessing the pool, he could see that, while it wasn't Olympic-sized, it was still very impressive. He peered over the edge into the water, but try as he might, he couldn't see the bottom. _Note to self_ , he thought, _don't fall in_. "Ahoy there!" he heard a slightly gravelly voice call to him. "Do ye always come into a girl's room without askin'?"

After flailing about to keep from falling into the pool, he looked and saw the source of the voice at the furthest edge of the pool. He could see why Smith called her "unorthodox." Unlike Mero, this mermaid wore a blue and white striped shirt that was torn around the midriff, presumably so her gills could breathe, and her long, wet strawberry blond hair was adorned with a black bandanna. Her pointed, dark blue ears were each adorned with two gold earrings. Her face, while attractive, bore a scar on her right cheek, and her eyes were as black as coal. Despite her words, she appeared more amused than angered. Nakamura bowed politely and said, "Forgive my intrusion, Miss. I am Officer Satsuke Nakamura, your host, and you must be Mako?"

"One an' the same, Chum!" she replied with a grin, revealing a row of razor-sharp teeth. "Ye know, ye're kinda cute for a cop!"

With that, Mako swam to the edge of the pool closest to him. As she got closer, he noticed that, while she swam with grace, her speed was more akin to a shark. The comparison made him shudder slightly, and her nickname for him made him slightly queasy. _No wonder she's been rejected so much_ , he thought to himself. That musing, instead of frightening him, made him even more resolved to befriend the mermaid. _She's probably just misunderstood_ , he mentally added.

When Mako surfaced and propped herself on the edge of her pool, she looked at him quizzically. "Oy," she said, "why're ye not freakin' out like me last fam'lies?"

"Why would I?" Satsuke replied with a casual shrug. He then said, "I do hope we can become good friends."

"Oh, do ye now?" Mako said with a wink. She then grabbed him by the ankle with a webbed hand and pulled him into the pool, pinning him to the edge. "Aye, I do believe we can be _very_ good friends."

With that, she pulled up her shirt, revealing two very large breasts, and pressed them against his chest. This caused his blood to rush to his head and spurt out of his nose. "Ye know, Chum, it's not nice to tease a girl like that," she said as she licked his face clean. "Aye, ye are rather tasty, aren't ye?"

Suddenly, Satsuke found himself fearing for his life, either by drowning or being eaten alive by this strange mermaid. Remembering something he heard about stunning a shark, he freed his arm with some difficulty and, with his fingers, flicked her nose firmly. His impromptu plan worked, for this caused Mako to jump back, clutching her nose. "Ow, that bloody hurt, mate!" she growled, her voice muffled.

The young man scrambled out of the pool as fast as he could and ran towards the door before she could get to him. The last thing he saw before slamming the door shut behind him was the enraged mermaid leaping out of the water. He was grateful that mermaids, regardless of their breed, were much slower out of the water. Still, he didn't look back as he tripped over himself climbing the stairs, nor was he paying attention when he ran up the stairs to the second floor to go to his bedroom. In his rush, he didn't notice anything in his path, and ended up getting stopped in his tracks by something large. When he came to his senses, he realized that his face was in something soft. "Can I help you?" a hateful voice growled above him, her words laced with a slight Spanish accent.

He backed away and realized that, somehow, he ran into what seemed to be a woman's cleavage. He then felt himself getting picked up by the back of his wet shirt collar, and was soon face to face with his other homestay. Satsuke was too frightened to notice that her face was rather round, and would have been cute if her features weren't contorted in undisguised rage. Her skin was a light tan color, and instead of two eyes like most people, he saw six black eyes staring daggers into his. Framing her face was an unruly mane of black hair with red streaks in them. He dared to look her over, and saw that her ample bosom ( _what is it with these liminals being so well-endowed?_ he mentally asked himself) was restrained by a tight white shirt, over which was a beaten up black leather jacket. Below her waist, where her legs would have been had she been human, resembled a very large, black furred tarantula, with her leg joints marked in red. "Ahh, a Mexican red-kneed tarantula," he said aloud without intending to.

"Oh, we have a smart guy here," the arachne said sarcastically.

"I'm very sorry for running into you like that," the policeman said. "I am Officer Satsuke Nakamura, and you must be Tara. It is my hope that we can become good friends."

With her other slightly furred claw, she grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him closer. "I doubt it, Fuzz," Tara hissed. She then sniffed him. "You're wet, and you smell like salt, booze and stale tuna. You must've already met Fish Face."

"If you're referring to Mako, then yes, I did."

"Whatever, Fuzz," she muttered. "You'd better take a shower before the salt dries and irritates your skin." With that, she threw him down the hall and into a wall. _This must be what those injury waivers were for,_ he thought to himself as he picked himself up off the floor.

Satsuke was grateful for the fact that his bedroom was at the end of the hallway where he landed, thus being within crawling distance. When he could get a good look around, he appreciated the fact that, while it was much bigger than the bedroom in his old apartment, the movers arranged the furniture and his belongings in a similar fashion to how he had it set up where he used to live. He also noticed that, in the far corner, there was a door leading into his personal bathroom. It was small, in comparison to the rooms in the rest of the house. The bathroom only had the shower stall, but it was still luxurious in its proportions. _I think I can get used to living here,_ he thought to himself as he turned the faucet. "I wonder if Tara knew about this when she threw me," he mused aloud with a chuckle. "Maybe she had an idea of what happened and was helping me get away from Mako."

After a refreshing shower, the police officer made his way into the kitchen. A large, six-burner stove was along the side wall with an oven big enough to roast three large turkeys. The refrigerator, freezer, and larder were all the kinds one would see in a restaurant. _How many liminals am I going to be hosting, anyways?_ he asked himself. Still, he was grateful to the agency that, while the food wasn't exactly extravagant, it was good quality and in abundance. He was also grateful that his father was an award-winning chef who taught him everything he knew. It didn't take Nakamura very long to decide on what to make for dinner, namely seasoned and grilled salmon with rice and vegetables. _What better way to tell Mako that I have no hard feelings?_

Sure enough, when cooking was underway, he heard the faint squeaking of wheels coming into the room. "Ahoy, Chum," Mako said, "somethin' smells good. When's dinner?"

"Dinner will be ready soon, Mako," Satsuke replied with a smile. "Come choose a place to sit." He flipped the salmon steak on its other side on the grill. "Must you call me 'Chum?'"

"Why not?" the mermaid replied with a grin. "We're gonna be mates, ain't we? Besides, I could just eatcha up!"

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of."

"About that," Mako said, turning serious. "Sorry I lost me head back there. Tends t' happen when I smell blood."

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about," the policeman said, still smiling.

"If it makes ye feel any better, my sense of smell ain't no better than yers when I'm out o' th' water. I think when we was all wet, it got me all bothered. Jus' so ye know, the smell o' blood don't get me hungry like it does with full sharks." She grinned wickedly. "At least, not for food, if ye catch me meaning," she concluded with a wink.

"Then why did you attack me like that?"

"That flick on th' nose really hurt, mate!" she shouted. "How would ye feel if I came up and punched ye in the jewels?"

Satsuke's eyes went wide. "Oh, Mako, I am so sorry," he said. "If I had known it was like that, I wouldn't have done it."

"Eh," the mermaid replied with a wave of a webbed hand, "don't ye sweat it. Ye had no way o' knowin'. No hard feelin's?"

The policeman turned around and smiled warmly. "There were never any to begin with."

Mako smiled sweetly, which surprised the young man given what he knew about her so far. "Ye're nice, Chum," she said softly. "I'm glad to 'ave met ye. Ye're welcome on me deck any time ye want, if ye know what I mean."

Satsuke chuckled awkwardly and finished making dinner. He was then started by the voice of the large arachne who had been standing in the doorway. "God, I don't know what's worse," she muttered, "the smell, or the sight of you lovebirds being lovey-dovey to each other. I mean, if you two are going to do it, take it to the bedroom."

"Nice t' see ye, too, Legs," Mako retorted with a wry grin. "I trust ye've met Chum, here."

Tara chuckled harshly. "Yeah," she said, "Fuzz and I bumped into each other upstairs. _Cabrón_ needs to watch where he's going." She then leaned closely to Nakamura's ear. "I'm watching you, Fuzz," she whispered threateningly.

The police officer gulped, feeling very afraid. He truly wanted no trouble with her, and genuinely desired to become friends with the arachne. However, he started wondering if that would even be possible. "Will you be joining us for dinner?" he asked, his voice shaking slightly. "We are having grilled salmon, rice, and vegetables. However, if that's not to your liking, I'll be glad to make something else for you."

"I don't want anything from you, Fuzz," she spat. "Seeing the two of you made me lose my appetite."

Satsuke sighed dejectedly. "Well, if you change your mind, you're welcome to join us."

"I doubt it," she muttered, turning to the door. Before Tara left, she said, "By the way, you better give Fish Face paper plates, unless you actually _want_ her puking up broken ceramic. The wooden knives and forks would also be a good idea, because she'd eat those, too."

"It was that one time!" Mako shouted.

"Whatever," Tara said. "I'm outta here."

Satsuke brought Mako's dinner over to her as the dour arachne left the room. "I think she likes ye, Chum!" the mermaid said, her mouth full of fish. "I ne'er seen 'er so nice to a human!"

"I'd hate to see how she treats someone she doesn't like," the policeman retorted. "How long have you known her?"

"Aye, a couple o' months now," Mako replied. "Only seen 'er a few times, mind ye. We'd end up gettin' rejected a few times an' we'd see each other. Soon, we started tradin' stories about our host fam'lies. Though this last time, she got more sullen 'an usual, so I told th' stupid bint from th' Organization t' place me with 'er so I can keep an eye on 'er. Don't much trust humans, meself, and I'm thinkin' th' last one messed 'er up somethin' bad.

"Ye seem okay, though, but I'd still watch yerself fer a while 'til she comes 'round," she concluded.

Satsuke barely heard her as he began preparing another meal, this time a bento box with yakosoba beef and some of the rice and vegetables he had already prepared. What he did hear was a reverberating belch that he swore shook the entire room. "By Jolly Roger, that was good!" Mako said. "Ye got any more?"

The policeman made a serving for himself, then piled the rest on the largest paper plate he could find. He was barely able to get his hand away in time before she devoured her food, plate and all. "Ye keep cookin' like that, she'll come 'round 'fore ye know it," the mermaid said before downing an entire bottle of rum and let out another rafter-shaking belch.

"I'm glad you liked it," Satsuke said with a smile. He then picked up the bento and said, "I'll be right back," as he left.

The policeman walked up the stairs and headed over to the trap door leading to the attic. "Tara," he called. "I left your dinner here in case you get hungry."

"Piss off, Fuzz!" came the response beyond the door.

He simply smiled and went back downstairs to the kitchen. On his way, he heard the attic door open. He turned around to see a strand of web picking up the bento box and lifting it up. "Good night, Tara," he said then continued to the living room to watch TV.

x

Satsuke opened his eyes and had a moment of panic. _Where am I?_ he thought to himself. The room he occupied looked much like his old bedroom, but felt more cavernous. The amount of open space he found himself in gave him an acute flash of agoraphobia. This feeling went away when he remembered the fateful meeting with Smith in his old apartment only two days before. _Oh yeah,_ he thought, _I live here now._

The young man was about to attempt to get more sleep when a loud crash coming from the hallway made him bolt upright. The crash was followed by a woman's voice singing merrily about keelhauling someone. He quickly put on a shirt and a pair of pants, then ran out to the hallway. He looked down the hall to see the mermaid he only recently became acquainted with rolling straight towards him. "Gang way, Chum!" came the cry before the inevitable collision.

When he stopped seeing stars, he felt something heavy on top of him, so he rolled back over until it was underneath him. What he saw was a grinning Mako, smelling strongly of salt and alcohol. Her shirt was raised up enough to reveal her ample bust. Like his first experience with her, this caused blood to spurt out of his nose, spraying Mako's face. "Nice t' see ye too, Chum!" she said, grinning wider. "What's fer breakfast?"

"Let me wash my face first," he replied, smiling weakly, "then I'll think of something."

"Didn't mean t' wake ye," the mermaid said as she helped Satsuke sit up. "Ain't used t' havin' so much space to roll around, ye know."

"It's quite all right," Satsuke said as he stood up. "Just try to keep it down until I get out of bed."

"Aye, aye," Mako said with a salute. "Anyone wakes me Chum, I'll run 'im through!"

The mermaid had just started speeding down the hall in the other direction when Satsuke went back into his bedroom, then into the bathroom to take a shower. As he wiped the condensation from the mirror, he saw what looked like a black shadow hanging from the ceiling in the shower stall. However, when he turned around, there was nothing there. "Wake up, Nakamura," he said aloud to himself as he dried his hair.

Satsuke started down the hallway after getting dressed, then paused under the hatchway to the attic. After a moment's deliberation, he called out, "Tara, what would you like for breakfast?"

"For you to fuck off, Fuzz!" came the reply.

With a sigh, he made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Oy," he heard Mako say as he went to the fridge, "see ye found out Legs don't exactly do mornin's. Don't ye take it too personal. She can be like that even t' me, an' she an' I have been friends fer a while, now."

The young man looked to Mako, who was smiling at him. Even with her wickedly sharp teeth, her smile was warm and kind. "May I ask you something, Mako?" he said as he turned on the burner under a greased pan.

"Ask me anythin', Chum!"

"How come you've been rejected so much?" he asked as he cracked some eggs. "You've been nothing but friendly to me."

"Some of 'em, when they 'ear the word 'mermaid,' they think o' that Disney tart," Mako grumbled. "I 'ear them say 'ow they was expectin' Ariel but they get Cap'n Sparrow."

"That's not right," Satsuke responded.

"Bah," the mermaid said, "if someone don't like me, that'd be their problem. Anyway, then there was this other family. Th' parents were a bunch o' stiffs, but their young lad was all right, by me reckonin'. Not much t' look at, but a nice enough lad. We'd be playin' 'sword-fightin' and he'd play me some 'pirate rock'. Guess th' parents thought we was bein' too chummy. Didn't like me bein' a 'bad influence' on their boy.

"Th' last family before ye, though," she snarled. "They 'ad the nerve to accuse me o' stealin' from 'em. Cops got involved an' everythin' to try an' get me deported. Bastards. Turned out th' husband stole th' money t' go out gamblin' and whorin'."

"I remember that case," Nakamura said as he flipped bacon. "I arrested him for being disorderly in public. I heard him bragging to someone about how he was framing his homestay while he was in the holding cell. Because it involved a liminal, it was taken out of my hands, but I do know that I helped save her from being deported."

"So ye're th' cop who cleared me name." Mako said with a thoughtful expression. "Thank ye, Chum."

"Was just doing my job," Satsuke said with a smile. "Now, let's eat."

As Smith had said, Satsuke and Mako became fast friends. He found her boisterous laugh infectious, and her stories enthralling, even if she tended to embellish more than a few details. With her encouragement, he shared some of his own stories. He told her about how he arrested a purse-snatcher with the help of an errant centaur, as well as his experience at the warehouse and the incident with Kimohito and the dullahan. Like Mako, he exaggerated some parts of his stories, often to make himself seem more heroic than he actually felt at the time. It was then that he heard someone clearing her throat. In the doorway, he saw Tara holding up a plate full of some of the eggs and bacon he made. "Are you seriously buying his bullshit stories, Fish Face?" she snarled.

"Top o' th' mornin' to ye, too, Legs," she replied. "Gonna come be social today?"

"Yes," Satsuke said, offering a place at the table. "Come join us."

Her only reply was a hateful glare before leaving. "See?" Mako said. "Told ye she'd start comin' around. She didn't even threaten' ye this time. Took 'er a week before she stopped threatenin' the stupid Agency bint, and that was only 'cause Legs wasn't gettin' a rise out o' her." After washing her breakfast down with the last of the rum in her bottle, she said, "I'll be lettin' ye get t' work. If ye need me, I'll be in me pool." With a slap on Satsuke's rear, she winked and said, "Clothin' optional."

Satsuke rubbed his backside and made his way to his office, gingerly carrying the stack of paperwork with him. It didn't take him long to fall in love with the office the Agency set up for him next to the living room. Despite it being the smallest room in the house, it still dwarfed the office of Chief Shimizu by a wide margin. Two large windows dominated the wall behind his desk, allowing the sun to bathe the room in natural light. Next to the door to the office was another large window, which he assumed would allow him to keep an eye on the girls. His eyes drifted to the wall next to the door to see his trusty bicycle, which had been propped against it. This made him wonder when he'd be able to get back onto the patrols he loved so much.

It took him long into the afternoon to finish filling out the paperwork and signing each of the forms, stopping only to grab a quick lunch. He hadn't realized that he had fallen asleep when he heard a familiar voice. "Can't have you falling asleep on your first day, Fresh Meat."

He bolted upright to see Zombina leaning against the wall, a wry grin on her cold face. "Don't worry," she said. "I won't tell Agent Smartass. Hell, I'm amazed that you were actually able to get it all done."

Satsuke smiled weakly as the undead woman picked up half the stack. "By the way," she said as her colleague picked up the other half, "you'll probably want to feed Jaws before she starts eating the furniture."

The policeman started to chuckle at the mental image of Mako chewing on the couch, then realized that he honestly wouldn't put it past her to do just that. He truly liked the mermaid, but he had witnessed her ravenous appetite firsthand. On his way to Zombina's vehicle, Mako lunged to eat the paperwork as if to prove the undead agent's point. "I'll be making dinner soon," he said with a smile. "Just be patient."

He went to pat one of the mermaid's shoulders, only to have her snap at his arm. He was grateful for the training he received, and how it improved his reflexes. Still, he was barely able to avoid her teeth. "We better hurry before she decides to eat me," Nakamura said, to which Zombina nodded.

Moments later, Satsuke was in the kitchen grilling a large flank steak. He tried asking her how she preferred it, but what few answers he got were barely intelligible. _So, she's like a shark in the worst possible way,_ he thought to himself. _She becomes a mindless eating machine when she's hungry._ He realized that she was in no mental state to care how her food was prepared, so he took it and put it on a paper plate, foregoing utensils entirely. As he guessed, she ripped the plate out of his hands and devoured both the meat and the plate. "Next time," he heard Tara snarl from the doorway, "make more than a sandwich for lunch."

Satsuke chuckled awkwardly. "Yes, I'll be sure to be more mindful in the future," he responded.

" _Pendejo,_ " she barked before scuttling off.

"Aye," Mako said softly, "I shoulda warned ye 'bout 'ow I get when I'm hungry. Sorry 'bout that, Chum."

"It's nothing," the policeman said, sitting down next to the mermaid. "I should've been keeping an eye on the time."

"Ye were busy," the mermaid retorted with a dismissive wave. "I didn't wanna bother ye."

"Well, if you need something to eat, please bother me," Satsuke said with a smile. "It's what I'm here for!"

"An' that's why ye're me Chum," Mako responded cheerfully. "Nice t' see that stupid bint finally found someone who'll do right by us.

"Speakin' o' doin' right," she continued, "I'd like another one o' them steaks. Nice an' rare like that other one."

"Of course!" Nakamura replied.

The rest of the night went by even more smoothly than the last, although it seemed that her table manners had gotten worse. She seemed to think nothing of talking with her mouth full, or lacing her speech with well-timed belches. He struggled to think of a way to help her improve her etiquette without making her feel like he was trying to change her. "Are ye all right, Chum?" she asked after washing down the last of her dinner with rum. "Ye seem upset."

"It's your table-manners," he responded with a sigh.

Her reaction surprised him. "Aye, sorry 'bout that," she said with a sigh. "I tend t' lose control there when I get hungry, too. We pirates ain't all slobs, ye know. Now take _Cap'n Blood_ , fer example. Aye, now there was a man. Terror o' th' high seas, but a true gentleman. I'll do me best, Chum. Ye have me word."

"Thank you, Mako," Satsuke said with a smile, putting a hand on hers. "I'll go bring Tara her dinner, and I'll be back down."

Like the night before, he made a bento box for Tara and left it under the hatchway to the attic. "Your dinner's ready, Tara," he called.

The door in the ceiling opened, revealing only pitch blackness. "You don't have to hide up there, you know," he said with a smile. "Whether you believe me or not, I would like us to be friends."

The only reaction he could see was a set of sticky strands grasping the bento box and pulling it up. What he couldn't see was a puzzled arachne scrutinizing him before the hatch closed. "Good night, Tara," he said before going back downstairs.

As promised, he went back to the living room to spend time with Mako. On this night, the pair watched _Captain Blood_ until Satsuke could barely stay awake. "Go t' bed, ye landlubber," she said affectionately. "I'll see ye in th' mornin'."

After bidding the mermaid good night, he made his way to his bedroom. He went to sleep relieved that he didn't have any paperwork to fill out the following day.

x

Satsuke awoke the following morning feeling more rested than he had even before the incident in the warehouse. After earning the mermaid's friendship, he felt confident that he would be able to befriend the reclusive arachne. After getting dressed, he headed to the kitchen to make a special breakfast. Unbeknownst to Satsuke, an inebriated Mako had just rolled herself out of her elevator and down the hall for another one of her drunken wheelchair races. He was almost to the stairs when he heard her yelling, "Gang way!" before ramming him from behind and launching him down the stairs.

When he landed, he opened his eyes to see only blackness. He felt around, realizing that, thankfully, he landed on something soft. Satsuke the felt himself getting lifted from the back of his shirt, and saw a very angry Tara wearing only a towel. He then realized that he was clutching her breasts. " _¡_ _Hijo de puta!_ " she screamed in rage as she turned him around and hurled him back upstairs like a javelin, putting his head through the ceiling.

So dazed was the police officer that he barely felt someone tugging on his ankles until he came loose, landing hard on the floor. "Ye all right, Chum?" he heard a distant voice calling him. "What happened? I 'eard Legs screamin', then I see ye danglin' from the ceilin'."

"I fell down the stairs after a collision with a certain wheelchair," he groaned irritably, "and found myself on top of Tara."

"Oh, bloody 'ell," she responded as she helped him up. "I'm sorry, Chum. I'll go try an' patch things up between th' two o' ye while ye get somethin' to eat. In th' meantime, it may be best t' steer clear o' her 'til th' smoke dies down."

The rest of the day went by without further incident. Mako admitted that, after the incident at the stairs, she couldn't reach the arachne to smooth over what had happened. The mermaid was visibly upset, prompting Satsuke to assure her that he wasn't angry at her. "I'm really sorry, Chum," she repeated. "I'll stop me racin' around like I was."

"At least restrict it to the first floor, and please try to curb your drinking," he said firmly.

"Of course, Chum," Mako responded with a smile.

Tara's absence throughout the day deeply troubled the young policeman. He found himself wishing that she would at least come into the living room to insult him, then scuttle off. She wouldn't even retrieve her meals when Mako would leave them under the door to the attic. By dinner time, he simply gave up and went to bed. When he took his shirt off, he felt himself get wrapped in sticky threads hanging from the ceiling and completely unable to move. "Hello, Fuzz," came the soft, hateful growl from behind him.

"Ahh, hello Tara," Satsuke said. "It's nice to see that you've come out." He then looked over to the webbing and said, "Would you mind letting me down?"

The arachne clutched his head and put the clawed tip of one of her front legs to his throat. "Can the sweetheart act, Fuzz," Tara hissed. "I know _exactly_ what you are. You may have Fish Face fooled, but not me. Oh no. You humans are all alike. I oughta kill you right here and now! I just wanted you to confess your sins before you die."

"I'm very sorry, Tara," he said, his voice shaking, "but I promise you that I don't what you're talking about."

"Don't know?!" the arachne howled with rage into his ear. "You know goddamned well, filth!"

"Is this about earlier today?" Nakamura said. "I swear that it was an accident. Mako rammed into me and caused me to fall down the stairs. I didn't even know you were there, I promise."

Tara pushed him away. "You're pathetic, Fuzz," she growled.

"What happened to you?" he softly asked.

The arachne sneered at him. "Fish Face probably already told you about my first few homestays." Tara replied. "The first couple of them turned me away outright... didn't want some 'filthy spider' living in their house."

"That's horrible."

The arachne's expression didn't change. "It hurt, sure, but I respected their honesty," she said evenly. "Unlike most of you vermin, they didn't sugarcoat their hate. The third family was nice to my face, but I heard what they were saying about me behind my back.

"Oh, but that last guy," she continued, her voice raising in pitch. "He was _real_ nice to me. Kept looking at me, leering at my tits… filthy pervert. I ignored it as long as I could, until one night that he started getting frisky and decided that he wanted me, and wasn't about to take 'no' for an answer."

Satsuke started feeling sick to his stomach, and began to understand. "You wanna know what I did to him…. do you, Fuzz?! I picked him up by his skinny little throat and threw him across the street, right into a brick wall! And you know what? I'm not even sorry. It's a damned shame it didn't kill him."

"He did end up the hospital, though," the policeman said, hanging his head. "I remember that case. I even filled out his arrest papers, and recommended against deportment since it wasn't your fault. I wasn't given your information due to it being declared as classified by the Agency. I also remembered the cruel things some of my coworkers said, and I remember it being one of the few times I was ashamed of the badge.

"I am so, so sorry for what happened to you, Tara," he said, looking her in the eyes. "You didn't deserve what he did."

Satsuke couldn't be sure, but he saw what looked like a tear running down her face. Suddenly, she clutched her head and screamed. "I DON'T NEED YOUR GODDAMNED PITY!"

The enraged arachne was stopped by the door flying open. "Bloody 'ell, Legs!" Mako shouted. "What d'ye think ye're doing?!"

"Why do you defend him?!" Tara shouted. "I thought you were my friend!"

"I am yer friend, ye crazy bint," the mermaid retorted, "an' so is 'e! He's been nothin' but kind t' ye since 'e met ye. Trust me, I ain't th' biggest fan o' humans either, but I know a good 'un when I see 'im.

"Jus' give 'im a chance, Legs," Mako said, more softly this time. "Give 'im a chance t' show ye that 'e ain't that las' guy."

"You heard what I said?" the arachne said, beginning to calm down.

"I think th' folks on th' other end o' Tokyo 'eard ye," the mermaid replied with a slight grin. "Trust me, if I 'ad known, I would've run 'im through for ye.

"Now come on, Legs," Mako continued, "calm down an' get yer 'airy arse t' bed. We'll talk in th' mornin'."

"Fine," Tara muttered. She then put her face close to Satsuke's. "You're lucky she showed up," she growled. "Don't forget… I'm watching you, Fuzz." With that, Tara scuttled off.

When the arachne left the room, Mako took out her cutlass and cut the police officer loose, who fell limply onto the floor. "Ye all right, Chum?" the mermaid gently asked.

"I will be," Satsuke said, crawling toward his bed. "Thank you for coming in when you did."

Mako helped steady him as he laid down on his bed. "Aye, don't ye mention it, Chum," she said. "Though, t' be honest, I think ye frustrate 'er more'n anything. She's tryin' real hard t' hate ye, but I ain't sure it's workin'. Ye're jus' too bloody nice.

"Ye wanna know what I think?" the mermaid asked rhetorically. "I think she was testin' ye, though she did get real riled up 'fore I came in. What'd ye say to 'er?"

"I told her that she didn't deserve what happened to her," Satsuke replied quietly.

"Aye, that musta been what did it," Mako said with a nod. "She wasn't expectin' no genuine sympathy out of a human. She's used t' so many bastards 'at she dunno how t' react when someone's actually bein' nice to 'er and means it."

The young man took a good look at Mako and, seemingly for the first time, noticed how genuinely pretty the mermaid was. With her hair dry and her bandana off, he admired how wavy her strawberry blond hair was and how it framed her face, making her look almost angelic, even with the scar on her cheek. He also noticed that, when she spoke calmly and softly, her voice had an almost melodic lilt to it.

"You're beautiful, Mako," he said quietly.

"Oh, shut yer face," the mermaid retorted with a grin. "Ye musta gone all loopy from hangin' like ye were. Now sleep it off, Chum. I'll check on ye in th' mornin'."

She then wheeled herself to the door, then turned around. "G'night, Chum," she whispered. When she heard only light snoring in reply, she smiled and shut the door.

Mako's mind was in a whirlwind as she made her way to the elevator. Apart from her father, no one had ever said she was beautiful, not even other mermen. Other shark-folk weren't known for their sensitivity, and the "Beautiful Ones," as her brethren scornfully called them, always considered her kind beneath them. Now, this human looked her dead in the face and said that, and what confused Mako more was that she had the feeling he meant it. "Trust me, Legs," she whispered. "I'm just as confused as ye are."

Soon, the lift doors opened and Mako boarded it, pressing the button to go down to the cellar. "I'm just as confused as ye are," she repeated as the doors closed.

At that very moment, Tara sat in her room in the attic seething. The mermaid was correct in her assessment, that the arachne ambushed him so she could test him. However, she was convinced… she even _hoped_ … that he would fail, that way she would have had an excuse to tear him to shreds. Due to loopholes in the Interspecies Exchange law, she would simply be deported. Her friend was also correct that she didn't know how to react when he showed genuine compassion. Try as she might, she couldn't get those kind eyes out of her mind. In truth, she realized that she was angrier at herself, not for giving in, but for the realization that she fully intended on snuffing the life from those eyes, and how close she came to actually doing it. Little did she know that her friend was also correct in knowing how confused she was regarding this human. "Just what are you, Satsuke Nakamura," Tara whispered, "and why are you so kind to me?"

x

Satsuke stood in front of the stove blearily frying eggs and sausage. He did manage to get a lot of sleep, but only because he was thoroughly exhausted from the events that happened the night before. While he had become genuinely afraid of the arachne, he bore her no ill will. In truth, he felt for her, thus it strengthened his resolve to help her. He just knew that he would have to tread more carefully around her.

"Oy, wake up 'fore ye burn breakfast!" Nakamura heard a familiar voice say, startling him.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the policeman said with a smile.

"Ye all right, Chum? I know ye 'ad a rough night."

"I'm fine," Satsuke said with a chuckle, "nothing to worry about. How would you like your eggs?"

"Six of 'em, over easy! I'm a growin' gal, ye see!" Mako said with a grin.

"And gimme three, scrambled, six sausages, and decaf," Tara grumbled as she came in. "Unlike some people, I don't like getting wasted first thing in the morning."

"Oy!" Mako yelled. "So what if I 'ave a bit o' rum in me coffee?"

"A bit?"

"Only 'alf a bottle," the mermaid retorted. "I'm cuttin' down, ye know." She thought for a moment and said, "Wait a minute, I ain't ne'er seen ye drinkin'!"

"Doesn't caffeine intoxicate spiders?" Satsuke asked. "I read that on Wikipedia, I think."

"He really is smarter than he looks," the arachne sneered.

The policeman loaded up Tara's plate and handed it to her, which she took to her place at the table, much to the surprise of both Satsuke and Mako. "Oy, look who's decided t' join us!" the mermaid grinned.

"Bite me, Fish Face," Tara retorted.

"Just so you know, Tara," Satsuke said as he sat down to eat, "I have no hard feelings about last night."

"Yeah, whatever, Fuzz," the arachne mumbled after her fourth mouthful.

Breakfast turned out to be quite peaceful and enjoyable, with Mako telling dirty jokes to anyone who would listen, and Tara sitting in silence. Nakamura was taken aback by how good the arachne's table manners were, given how gruff her demeanor was. Occasionally, he would get the feeling that she was staring at him, but when he looked, she would be intently eating. Sometimes, the barest hint of a smile would creep on her face. He noticed that the arachne was very cute when she smiled, with the faintest of dimples on her cheeks. When she'd catch him looking at her, she'd bark, "What're you lookin' at, Fuzz?" to which he would simply smile warmly.

He was grateful for the fact that he didn't have much in the way of reports to fill out. He was also grateful to be able to report the start of real progress with Mako and Tara. He noted that, while Mako could be wild and uncouth, she was also honest and kind-hearted. He also made a note that her unruliness could be a result of being sequestered in the house, and recommended that she be allowed out for limited, supervised day trips. For Tara, he made a note that her short temper was likely the result of her recent traumatic experience. He added that her simple act of sharing a meal with him and Mako was a major step forward for the reclusive arachne. Satsuke concluded that it was too soon to make any definite conclusions about Tara, and that he would have to continue monitoring her.

Satsuke decided to take a relaxing bath after Zombina picked up his reports. He felt like he earned it after what he had been through the night before. Occasionally, he'd feel like he was being watched, but when he'd check, there'd be no one there. He was just about to chalk it up to being nerves when heard a voice saying, "You seem tense, Fuzz. You really need to relax."

"Oh, hello, Tara," Nakamura said with a smile. "I'm fine. I'll be done in a minute if you need to use the bathroom."

"You're too nice," the arachne replied. "I've been so rotten to you, so I want to make it up to you."

"Oh, it's no trouble at all," he said, growing somewhat nervous. "I understand where you're coming from."

"At least let me wash your back," she said, getting closer.

"Okay, if you insist," he responded with a gulp.

"Come sit on the edge of the tub so I can reach you more easily."

He complied, feeling uncomfortable. While the arachne had calmed down considerably since that night, he still wasn't sure if it would be a good idea to leave his back completely exposed to her. He soon felt a wash cloth going up and down his back while simultaneously massaging his muscles. He had to admit that the arachne was right: he had been extremely tense, so this was much needed. "Does that feel good, Fuzz?"

"Very good," Satsuke said, "thank you."

"I'm glad," Tara purred wickedly.

Satsuke opened his eyes when he felt something around his arms, and saw the arachne's clawed hands holding them gently, while still feeling his back being massaged. "Tara, are you-"

Tara shushed him and continued rubbing his back with her breasts. "My claws would scratch you up," she replied, her tone still sultry. "I wouldn't want to hurt you... at least, not anymore." She then chuckled almost seductively. "Unless you want me to, of course."

 _I need to stop this before it goes too far,_ he thought to himself. He struggled to think of a way of getting the arachne to stop without angering her, and before he started enjoying it too much. "Tara, given that this is prohibited," he said, squirming a little, "I really don't think this is a good idea."

The arachne put her lips to his ears and nibbled them a little. "And if it weren't...?"

"I'd want to get to know you better before we did anything like that," Satsuke replied. "I wouldn't want to rush into anything."

Tara stopped. "Seriously?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes," he replied kindly. "I think, deep down, you're really nice. I see it the few times I've seen you smile. It's really cute."

The arachne backed up, covering her bosom. It was then that she noticed the blood diluting in the bathwater. As she put her shirt back on, she said, "You may want to have a doctor look at your nose, Fuzz."

The policeman felt around his nose, then scrambled to wash his face and drain the bathtub. The arachne giggled despite herself as she put her shirt back on. "Oh, and Fuzz...?"

"Yes, Tara?"

"Nice butt."

The last thing the arachne saw before leaving was the young man trying to grab a towel, then slipping in the tub. The mermaid rolled up as she closed the door behind her. "What did ye do t' Chum?!" Mako accused. "Did ye hurt 'im?"

"No, I didn't, Fish Face," Tara grumbled. She then turned to her friend and smiled. "If anything, he did more harm to himself. Did you know he's really cute when he's being modest? He's also a real gentleman."

"I coulda told ye that, Legs," the mermaid said with a grin.

"You're right, Fish Face. He's a good guy, and I've decided that I'm going to be nicer to him." After a pause, Tara continued with a wink of three of her eyes, "Can't say I won't occasionally play with him, though."

Mako wheeled herself in and helped Satsuke out of the tub. She then got him a towel, as well as an ice-pack for the bump on his head. "Ye gonna be all right, Chum?" she asked.

"Yes, thank you," he replied as he covered himself with the towel.

He saw that her smile was even more lecherous than it usually was. "Are ye sure ye wanna get dressed so quick?" she asked with a wink.

Satsuke's only response was to pinch his nose in an attempt to stem any further bleeding, and to stammer uselessly. "I'm sorry 'bout that, Chum," she said, patting his shoulder. "I'll stop teasin' ye fer tonight. Ye get yerself some sleep, ye handsome scallywag."

"Thank you, Mako," he responded. "Sleep well."

Before leaving the bathroom, she looked him over, and winked. "If ye change yer mind," she said, "ye know where t' find me."

The young man finished drying himself off, wondering when he could go to bed without being accosted sexually. He also wondered whether or not he actually wanted it to stop. It didn't take him long to drift off to sleep, completely unaware of the pair of glowing red eyes staring at him from the window.


	3. Case Docket 2

Case Docket 2 - Daily Life Under Chaotic Conditions

Satsuke was sleeping soundly when a loud knock broke the silence, making him bolt upright. After catching his breath, he put on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, then ran out to the hallway to be met by Mako. "What was that?" he asked.

"Someone at th' door," the mermaid replied. "From th' look o' ye, ye ain't expectin' company."

"Come," the policeman said, taking the handlebars of Mako's wheelchair, "let's see who's come to visit."

The two were at the bottom of the stairs when the hatch to the attic flew open. "Whoever it is better have a good fucking reason for waking us up," Tara snarled.

The arachne took a threatening posture behind Satsuke when he opened the door, and immediately shrank back when she saw who was at the door. Their visitor was a woman in a tailored suit not unlike what Smith often wore. The main difference was that she was easily over nine feet tall with a sharp, tapered horn coming out of her forehead, and built like she could bust through concrete with little to no effort. The young man also took note of another of their visitor's attributes, namely a bust that could easily put Centoria's to shame. When he was finally able to pry his eyes away from her bosom, he saw a very cute and cheerful face that instantly put him at ease. "Hi, Satsi-kun!" she said with a wave and a smile. "I'm Tionishia! I'll be coming by to pick up your reports for the rest of the week!" She then looked at the policeman's disheveled appearance and frowned. "Oh, no," she said, "I didn't mean to wake you all up."

Out of the people from the Agency that he met, Nakamura found that he liked this very large girl immediately. He noticed that even Tara seemed to calm down considerably. "Oh, it's no trouble," he said reassuringly. "Please, come in. I'll go make breakfast."

Tionishia smiled and entered the house, followed by a pretty lamia with short, stylish blonde hair and golden eyes with slit pupils. She was built similarly to Miia, except that her lower half was slimmer by a slight margin. The clothes she wore were as stylish as her hair, and did much to accentuate her figure. Unlike Miia, her scales were of a polished bronze color with a black, crisscrossed pattern, with similarly colored scales on her forearms and black fingernails that looked almost like claws. "Hi guys!" the lamia said with a smile. "I'm Piper Diamond! Those Agency guys tell me that I'm gonna be living here."

 _Another homestay?_ Nakamura thought to himself. _Just when I thought I might be able to take the girls out at some point._ "Welcome, Piper," he said. "I am Officer Satsuke Nakamura, and this is Tara and Mako. It is my hope that we can all become good friends."

"Yar," the mermaid said as she backed her chair up. "I be Mako th' Merciless. Welcome aboard, ye landlubber."

Satsuke looked at Tara and saw an expression that he never expected to see: worry. "Charmed," she said softly.

The lamia looked around and whistled. "Wow, Coach," she said cheerfully, "this place is _sweet!_ Looks like I can actually slither around without knocking stuff over!" She then spat in her hand and shook Nakamura's vigorously. "I think we'll be great pals!"

The arachne's eyes went wide with horror when she heard a rattling sound when Piper enthusiastically shook her tail. "Oh, shit," Tara said before quickly scuttling up the stairs.

Satsuke didn't see Tara's terrified reaction. He didn't even realize that he was screaming. He was only aware of the pain that shot through his arm. "What did ye do t' me Chum!" Mako shouted.

Piper looked down at her hand, then slapped her forehead. "Oh crap, I did it again. You guys got any anti-venom?"

"Stay with me, Chum," Mako said when Nakamura collapsed, sweating profusely.

The policeman was oblivious to the way Tionishia gently picked him up, cradling him as if he were an injured kitten. He didn't even realize he lost consciousness until he found himself in his bed, his sheets soaked with sweat. If he had the strength to move, he would've seen that the sun was setting through his bedroom window. "Are you all right, Nakamura-kun?" a familiar voice said, putting a damp towel on his forehead.

"Smith," he weakly replied, "I'm okay. My arm is throbbing, though."

"That sometimes happens to people who shake hands with a careless echidna," the agent said.

"Echidna? You mean-"

"Yes, she's part viper. A diamond-back rattlesnake lamia, to be exact. Even though it was a small amount of venom, you got lucky."

Satsuke read a little bit about echidnae. There wasn't much information about them, except that they are related to lamiae as a species, and that they were to be approached with extreme caution. The only reasons given were their potent venom, and that they can be either easily startled, or quick to anger. "Where are the girls?" he asked when he noticed that the girls weren't in the room.

Smith pointed at the door to show Mako and Piper staring at him. "Come in, girls," Satsuke said, smiling weakly.

"God, Coach, I'm so sorry," Piper said, her golden eyes red from crying. "I didn't mean to hurt you like that."

"It's okay, Piper," the policeman said. "Accidents happen... a lot."

"When'll Chum be ship-shape, Smith?" Mako asked.

"It's too soon to say," the agent replied softly, "but we expect him to make a full recovery."

The mermaid turned to the echidna angrily. "Consider yerself lucky, ye filthy serpent."

"Please," Nakamura said weakly, "don't hate her, Mako. I want you all to be friends." He scanned the room, then looked to Smith. "Where's Tara?"

The agent pointed to a dark corner of the room. He could barely see the outline of the large arachne snoring softly. "She was the one who saved you," she said. "Her breed is also venomous, although it's much milder. She knows how to treat someone who's been envenomed. She even has a special first aid kit for just that.

"She refused to leave your side, Nakamura-kun," she said. Smith then addressed the other girls, saying, "Let's go. He still needs his rest, but don't worry, he'll be fine."

Mako leaned over and kissed Satsuke's forehead, then smiled sweetly. Piper waved awkwardly, clearly not wanting to chance hurting him again. She then wheeled the mermaid out, apologizing the entire time. Smith fed Nakamura some water after giving him pain pills, then left the room. "Get some rest," she said before shutting off the light, unaware that the policeman had already fallen asleep.

When Satsuke woke up again, it was nighttime. The policeman noticed that, while his sheets were still damp, they were drier than they were before. He tried reaching out for his water bottle, but couldn't get to it. Suddenly, he felt a furry, chitinous claw clasp his wrist gently and put the bottle in his hand. "You're going to need all the water you can get," Tara said softly. "Your body is sweating out the remainder of the toxins in your blood. You'll be fine, though. Thankfully, I got to you in time.

"I've known a lot of her kind of echidnae where I'm from," the arachne continued. "They taught me everything they know, since their kind needs human males to mate with them and they can't risk killing them. From what I can tell, she's not bad; she's just a knucklehead."

Satsuke sat up slowly with Tara's help. "How's your arm?"

"Sore, but better."

"Good. Close your eyes, Fuzz. I'm going to turn on the lights so I can examine your arm. I can see nearly perfectly in the dark, but I have trouble making out details."

Satsuke did as she instructed; despite closing his eyes, he still felt his eyes stinging. When the pain subsided, his vision was able to adjust to the changing light. He saw the arachne looking over his arm thoroughly, sometimes poking it gently with a claw. When he'd yelp, she'd simply nod. "Good," she said, "you still have feeling. Your arm looks okay, but I needed to check if there was any nerve damage." She then put her lips to his forehead. "Excellent, your fever broke." She then looked at him and smiled. "You had everyone worried."

Satsuke finished the water bottle. The liquid was lukewarm, but to his parched throat, it was the greatest thing in the world. Tara took the spent bottle and put another open one in his hands. "Thank you, Tara," he said. He then looked at her and smiled. For the first time, he noticed how full her lips were, and how young her round face made her look. "You look like an angel," he said.

"Delusions are known to happen in some," the arachne said with a smirk, "but it passes shortly."

"You look like one because you are, Tara," Satsuke retorted softly. "The others said that you never left my side. Only angels are like that."

"There has been a lot that's happened in my life that I've never forgiven," she said, choking back sobs. "But most of all, I would've never forgiven myself if I didn't get to you in time."

Satsuke gently embraced the arachne, who then buried her face into his chest and cried uncontrollably. When she stopped, she looked up at him and asked, "Why are you so good to me?"

"We're friends, aren't we?" he replied with a smile.

Tara smiled back. "Yeah, Fuzz," she replied, "I guess we are. Now, get some sleep. If you need anything, just let me, Fish Face, or Knucklehead know."

She got up and went to the door. Before she turned off the light, she looked back at him. "Don't forget," she said with a smile, "I'm watching you, Fuzz."

"I'm glad, Tara. Good night."

x

Breakfast the following day was tense, but peaceful. Satsuke wasn't surprised to see that Mako hadn't yet forgiven Piper for the accident. The most obvious indication of the mermaid's ire were the angry glares in the echidna's direction. It was Tara's lack of apparent hostility that surprised him. While she wasn't exactly friendly to the new homestay, the arachne was gracious and civil.

He had only just begun his report when he heard the door open and Smith enter the room. Ever since the incident with Piper, he found that he liked the agent a little more. Despite how condescending he found her, he could see that, deep down, she was a good person. "Hello, Nakamura-kun!" she purred. "I'm just coming by to let you know that the girls can be left at home unsupervised starting tomorrow. Tara has shown amazing progress under your care, and while Mako can still be unruly, she's calmed down considerably since she's known you."

"You mean I get my patrols back?" Nakamura asked excitedly. "This is great news! So why is Piper here?"

"Well, you remember that little incident yesterday?" Smith began. "That's not the first time it's happened. Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt. This probably wouldn't have happened if her scales hadn't scratched your hands. My guess is that she may be shedding soon. From what little we know about them, they do learn to control how much venom they release eventually. Clearly, Piper hasn't learned."

The agent continued, "The progress the girls have made has shown that you have a good effect on the more dangerous species. Secondly, you have a venomous breed in your house who knows how to control her venom, and that, according to your reports, has good manners, despite her apparent demeanor. We hope that Tara can give Piper a few lessons."

Smith then handed the young policeman a stack of paperwork. "Of course, we will need to see how Piper gets along with the others by tonight," she said with a wink. "We expect a thorough report by this afternoon."

As if on cue, the sound of a vase smashing upstairs accompanied by Piper shouting and Mako cackling reverberated through the house. Smith opened the door and, before leaving, smiled cheerfully. "Do your best!"

When the door closed, Satsuke ran upstairs to investigate the cause of the commotion. Not surprisingly, Mako was inebriated and wheeling through the hallways. Piper was chasing after her, shaking her scaled fist. "What's going on here?!" he yelled.

"Coach!" the echidna whined. "Make Mako give me my fucking panties back!"

"Never, ye landlubber!" the mermaid laughed heartily.

It was then that Satsuke saw the drunken mermaid waving her cutlass, wearing what appeared to be something lacy covering her eye, before speeding off. The young man's only reaction was to scratch his head. "Huh, so _that's_ what a lamia's panties look like," he said.

"Perv!" she said before whipping her tail at him, sending him flying down the hallway into a wall. With that, Piper resumed her chase.

Satsuke found the scene too ridiculous to be angry about it. Suddenly, he heard a voice shouting, "Dammit, some of us are trying to sleep around here!" and then silence. When he investigated, he couldn't help but laugh when he saw both Mako and Piper encased in webbing up to their necks.

The policeman then went to get a pair of shears to cut them loose, but not before taking the echidna's underwear off the mermaid's pouting face. "Come, girls," he said softly as he freed them from her silk prison. "Go downstairs, I'll make us some lunch."

"Awesome!" Piper exclaimed enthusiastically. "You're a _way_ better cook than that agent lady. Her cooking's nasty."

"It's passable," Tara muttered. "I may as well get something to eat since _some_ people can't shut the fuck up while someone's trying to sleep. Now outta the way."

With that, Tara grabbed the echidna by the back of the neck and hurled her into a wall as she scuttled past. Satsuke was about to scold the arachne when her heard Mako say, "Ne'er seen 'er take t' someone that quick. Th' stupid bint may be right: ye must be havin' a calmin' effect on 'er."

Nakamura simply raised an eyebrow, remembering the day he met Tara and what she did to him. He also remembered what she had done to the man who tried to assault her. "So, it depends on the kind of wall?" he asked as he wheeled her to the lift.

"Aye," the mermaid replied with a chuckle. "If it's th' wall that takes more damage than th' one gettin' thrown, then she's jus' playin'."

When he stepped into the kitchen, Tara thrust a piece of paper bearing a recipe for burritos into the policeman's hands. "Try asking what _we_ want to eat for once," the arachne growled.

"Wow, what a bitch," Piper mumbled.

"Watch it, Knucklehead!" the arachne yelled as she went for the echidna's throat.

"Tara," Satsuke admonished, "not at the table." He then winked at Piper when she started to protest.

Tara bared her fangs. "Don't screw it up, Fuzz," she snarled. "That's a family recipe you're fucking with."

"I understand," the policeman said with a smile. "I promise I will do my best."

Lunch didn't take long to cook. The meal was even more tense at first, with Tara angrily glaring at Satsuke until she took her first bite. "Did I do all right?" he asked the arachne.

Tara gave a low growl. "You did okay, I guess," she said. "Next time, I'm helping."

"Please do!" Satsuke responded happily. "I'd welcome some help in the kitchen."

"Are they _always_ like that?" Piper whispered to Mako.

"Aye," the mermaid replied between mouthfuls. "If ye wanna know what I think, I think she 'as a thing for 'im." She then winked. "Not I can blame 'er."

The echidna looked Satsuke over. "I can see why," she said. "He _is_ kinda cute."

"Watch it, Knucklehead," the arachne said, pounding the table. "Last I knew, that shit's prohibited, so get that thought out of your head _right now._ Got it?"

"Jeez, can't a girl look?" Piper asked.

"Just don't get any ideas," Tara said.

" _Fine,_ " the echidna said, rolling her eyes.

The rest of the meal was peaceful enough, but a little too awkward for Satsuke's liking. He then became aware of something rubbing against his ankle. Looking down, he saw what looked like Piper's tail. He raised his head, trying to keep his expression stoic. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Piper gazing at him with a sultry expression. "Was everything to your liking?" Satsuke asked after clearing his throat.

"Those were the best burritos I've ever eaten," Piper said enthusiastically. "You guys gonna eat the rest?"

"Go ahead," the policeman replied when the others declined.

With that, she put all the food which must have weighed nearly three pounds onto a plate, opened her mouth impossibly wide, then swallowed it all whole. When she saw the shocked and disgusted looks on everyone's faces, she asked, "What? Never seen a girl unhinge her jaw before?"

"No," Satsuke said with a chuckle. "I can't say I have. However, I think I speak for all of us when I ask that you don't do that again at the table."

"Aye," the mermaid agreed, "that's downright nasty."

"You're one to talk, Fish Face," Tara retorted. "It's bad enough that I have to teach Knucklehead some manners. Am I going to have to teach you, too?"

"Them's fightin' words, Legs!"

"Okay, enough!" the young man said firmly. "Mako, I can't say as I disagree with Tara."

"Ye takin' 'er side, Chum? I thought we was mates!"

Satsuke smiled warmly. "We are, Mako," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You've come a long way, but your table manners still need some work. I'm also becoming concerned with your drinking. Can you at least keep it down while I'm gone?"

"Aye aye, Chum," the mermaid sighed. She then looked up with a smile and said, "Sorry 'bout that, and sorry, Legs. We still mates?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Fish Face."

"Wow, I can just feel the love," Piper groused.

"Can it, Knucklehead!" the arachne growled. "You're gonna have to learn how things go in this house."

"Calm down, Legs," Mako said, smiling. She then turned to the echidna. "Ye're gonna have t' get t' know 'ow Legs is, Pipes. I've known 'er a lot longer than ye."

"Exactly, Piper," the policeman added. "We're all family here, and you're now a part of it. Am I right?"

"Aye aye, Chum!" Mako said with a toothy grin.

"Yeah, whatever, Fuzz," Tara grumbled.

"Now," the policeman said as he stood up, "I need to get my paperwork done. Please try to keep it down, at least until I'm done."

Despite the accident the day before setting him back, he was able to get his work done quickly. He discovered that his office was soundproofed when he looked through the window and saw Piper chasing Mako, then saw the echidna flying in the other direction. In his report, he noted that, overall, the girls got along well. He also noted that whatever altercations that had occurred amounted to simple rough-housing, usually between Tara and Piper. According to his report, Mako's progress remained slow but consistent. The mermaid's initial animosity towards Piper seemed to have lessened considerably. He noted Tara's temper was likely because she was quite sensitive, and that her manner of speaking may be more a result of her upbringing. Finally, he reported that the echidna seemed very friendly, charming, and even-tempered. He noted that, other than her venom, Piper seemed no more dangerous than the average lamia. _This being said,_ he wrote, _further observation will be necessary._

Tionishia came in just as the policeman signed the reports. "Hi, Satsi-kun," the girl greeted with a big smile. "How're you feeling?"

Satsuke smiled back. "Ahh, hello, Tionishia," he said. "My arm's only a little sore, but I'm much better."

The girl pouted. "Call me 'Tio,'" she said.

The young man quickly apologized and handed Tio the papers. "On your way out, could you send Tara in here?" he asked.

"Of course," Tio replied, smiling again.

Piper went flying by the window the moment the large girl left the room. Tio quickly caught the echidna, and gently set her on the floor. Tara came into the office fifteen minutes later and shut the door behind her. "What's up?" she asked.

"I'm going to turn in early," Satsuke said. "Would you mind holding down the fort while I'm asleep?"

"Isn't that _your_ job?" the arachne snapped.

"I'm resuming my patrols tomorrow," he explained, "and you seem like someone I can count on completely to handle things while I'm at work."

The faintest hint of a smile crept onto Tara's face. "Yeah, whatever, Fuzz," she grumbled after forcing her smile away.

"Thank you, Tara," Satsuke said.

"Right," the arachne said as she walked away. She then turned her head and smiled. "Don't forget, Fuzz," she said, "I'm watching you."

As Satsuke went upstairs, he heard the large arachne yelling at the others, followed by a loud crash. "Tara," he shouted, "please keep your playing to a minimum while I'm trying to sleep."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he heard Tara shout back. "Go the fuck to bed already."

Nakamura smiled. "Good night."

x

His first day back at work went surprisingly smoothly. Overall, it was uneventful. Most of the incidents involved teenagers being nuisances, so it was nothing he couldn't handle. The worst of it involved a harpy in _ganguro_ makeup trying to mate with him. Even with that happening, people around him noticed that he didn't seem nearly as jittery as he used to be. He chalked this up to the fact that his homestays were three of the more dangerous species that had come to Japan. The policeman was grateful for the fact that Tara knew how to cook, and cook well. He didn't want to risk having Mako do the cooking due to her drinking, and Piper could be scatter-brained at best.

When he walked through the door after his patrol, he was surprised at how tidy the house was. He expected that the mermaid had trashed the house since her intoxicated rampages would go unchecked, but this was amazingly not the case. He was even more surprised to see all three of his homestays waiting for him. "Hiya Coach!" Piper said with grin. "Welcome home!"

Mako wheeled over and smacked Satsuke's rear. "Ahoy, Chum!"

"Fuzz," Tara said with only the faintest hint of a smile.

"Hello, girls," he greeted. "The house looks great!"

"Yeah," the arachne remarked, "it's amazing how few things get broken when a certain mermaid is wrapped in a web."

"Hey, Coach! Some guys were here and installed a sun lamp! They even remodeled the bathroom!" the echidna said enthusiastically. "Now I can comfortably take a bath and warm up first thing in the morning. That is, if you don't mind sharing some of your body heat," Piper said with a wink.

"Ye keep ye're hands off me Chum, ye scaly tart!" Mako yelled.

"Bite me, Fish Face!" the lamia shouted.

"Only I'm allowed to call her Fish Face, Knucklehead," Tara growled before easily throwing Piper down the hallway, embedding her in the wall.

"Please, girls," Satsuke said, "if you're going to fight, please keep it down while I make dinner. I'll let you know when it's ready."

"Aye aye, Chum," Mako said with a salute.

"I'll help, if you don't mind," Tara added as she followed him to the kitchen. "I need to make sure you don't poison us."

While still in the wall, Piper gave a thumbs-up in reply. "I'll 'elp Pipes out o' th' wall," the mermaid sighed.

After the mermaid pried Piper from the wall on her way to the elevator, the echidna decided to take a bath to clean off the plaster. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, the policeman found the large arachne a valuable assistant, as well as a very pleasant one. Thus, dinner was completed in record time. However, while they were setting the table, they heard an ear-splitting scream coming from the bathroom. "That sounded like Knucklehead," Tara said with surprising concern.

Together, they raced towards the bathroom and, after the policeman failed to get the door opened, the arachne was successful with a single well-placed punch. When they went in, they found the bathroom surprisingly empty, despite the bath being full and showing signs of use. "Piper!" Satsuke called. "Where are you? Are you hurt?"

He heard a muffled cry at the other end of the room where the door was. When it fell to the floor, it revealed a naked echidna embedded in the wall again. After the policeman looked at Tara with an expectant expression, she shrugged and peeled Piper from the wall and laid her down. "Where is it?!" she squealed when she came to. "Get it off, get it off! My face hurts so bad."

"Where's what, Knucklehead?" the arachne grumbled. "I don't see anything other than a bruised idiot."

"Look at her face," Satsuke said. "It's really red and irritated. Mako, get a cold, wet cloth and some antiseptic ointment. I'll get her clothes."

At the table, Piper explained that, after she got out of her bath, something resembling tar flew out of the toilet attacked her. She then said that she was only able to get it off her head by submerging it in the bathwater. Despite Mako and Tara's skepticism, Satsuke promised to keep a lookout for anything strange. "After all," he said, "her face seems to have minor chemical burns. I honestly don't think she was imagining it.

"Now, let's eat," he concluded.

Dinner went by without incident. Satsuke suggested that whatever attacked the echidna was vulnerable to large quantities of water, since she could get it off her head by dunking it in the bathtub. "Yar, I 'eard tales o' such creatures from me people," Mako said after some thought. "Sounds like a slime t' me. 'Tis strange, though. We always thought they was nothin' but fish tales."

"With all due respect, Mako," Satsuke said with a wry grin, "until recently, we didn't think you folks really existed, either."

The mermaid shrugged. "True," she said, shoveling another entire helping of chicken in her mouth.

The rest of the night turned out to be quite enjoyable. Tara washed the dishes while Mako watched concert footage of a band called Running Wild. Satsuke talked with Piper, explaining to her a little about how her new housemates interact with each other. "So, where are you from, Piper?"

"The beautiful Anzo-Beraga desert in sunny southern California," she replied with a smile, "and before you offer sympathy, girls like me prefer hot and dry places. I've got the 'cold-blooded' thing going for me, so the hot sun is my best friend. Just give me a nice, cool drink, and I'm a happy echidna!

"Has anyone ever told you how cute you are, Coach?" Piper asked with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"Not until recently," he replied with an awkward chuckle.

Satsuke covered his face to hide his blushing, then looked away. When he did, he saw an expression on Tara's face that he'd never seen before. _Is she jealous?_ he asked himself.

"Look, Coach," Piper said, "while I have my tribe where I came from, I'm not that close to them. We simply band together. Did you really mean what you said about how you wanted us all to be a family?"

"Yeah, he did," Tara said with a glare. "That's because Fuzz is almost as much of an idiot as you are. Now outta the way."

As the large arachne got went by, she picked Piper up and, once again, sent her flying into the wall. "This is going to happen all the time, isn't it?" she groaned when she fell to the floor.

"Relax, Pipes," Mako said, "that's 'ow ye know she likes ye."

Satsuke decided to turn in early after dinner. Between being on his bicycle for the first time in days and the slime incident, he was exhausted. Piper was playing video games while Tara cleaned up around the house. Mako was downstairs swimming. The peace was shattered by a scream down the hall. "Shit," Tara yelled, "that came from Fuzz's room."

"Throw me down the basement stairs so I can get Mako," Piper shouted.

Minutes later, the three girls were at Satsuke's bedroom door, which Tara opened like she did the bathroom door. When they turned on the bedroom lights, they saw the policeman cowering in the corner in a white shirt and boxer shorts, and a black splatter where the door hit the wall. "Are you all right, Coach?" Piper asked, helping the policeman to his feet.

Satsuke nodded and said, "Tara, call MON now. Mako, get the sprinkler control. Piper, you and I will try and lure it downstairs. Everybody got that?"

The mermaid and arachne left promptly, while Piper rattled her tail. "Come on, Sludgy," she hissed, "come get some!"

The slime's reply was to dissolve the door, but the two were already down the hall while it was coalescing. "Hang on, Coach," the echidna said as she grabbed Satsuke's ankle with her tail, "it's gonna get bumpy."

Before the young man could say anything, he felt himself being dragged down the stairs, his head hitting every step on the way. While he had hoped she would be gentler about it, he understood that she was a lot faster than he, and that speed was of the essence. Despite how fast they went, the slime got close enough to lash out at them. It would have caught them had it not gotten sucked up, as if by a vacuum cleaner. "Yo, Fresh Meat!" a familiar voice greeted. "You okay over there?"

When Satsuke nodded, she continued, "What the Hell did you hope to accomplish by going down here?"

It was Piper who answered. "When it attacked me, I was able to get it off me by dunking my head into the bathtub. I think what Coach had in mind was to get as close to as large of a body of water as possible in case one of us got engulfed again, so he chose Mako's pool."

"Wow, Fresh Meat," Zombina said with a whistle, "that's some quick thinking! Me and the crew could use some tactical minds like yours!"

"Well," Satsuke said, sheepishly running his fingers through his hair, "I _am_ a police officer."

"Damn, Knucklehead," Tara began, "maybe you're not such an idiot after all. You actually managed to figure that out all by yourself."

The echidna noticed that, while her choice of words was sarcastic, her tone suggested that she was genuinely impressed and was being sincerely congratulatory. "So, where's the slime, anyway?" Satsuke asked.

Zombina dramatically revealed a translucent, vacuum-packed container marked with biohazard symbols containing the black slime, with two red eyes peering back, glowing hatefully. Occasionally, it would lunge towards whoever got close to it. "Ooh, it's an ornery li'l scallywag, innit?" Mako said. She then got close to it and said, "I say we send it down t' Davey Jones's locker."

"What are we gonna do with it?" Tara asked.

"Zombina," Satsuke said, "bring the vat to the bathroom. Piper, put the vat in the middle of the tub and draw a bath."

"Fresh Meat," the zombie said, clapping the policeman on the back, "I'm talkin' to Smith in the morning. We seriously could use minds like yours. How'd you come up with that, anyway?"

"Mako gave me that idea with her threat," the policeman replied. "Zombina, would you mind keeping an eye on it overnight?"

"You got it!" she said with a nod. "I'd be the best choice out of all of us since I literally don't need to sleep."

"I'll get my sewing needle," Tara interjected.

"What for?" the zombie asked.

"I figured you could use a hand," she replied with a wry grin, holding up the zombie's hand.

Zombina held up her arm. "Oh god dammit," she groused. "Piper, you bring the vat. I'll be right up after the spider stitches me back up."

Moments later, the group were in the bathroom with the vat containing the slime in the middle of the tub of water. "Look, you guys," the zombie said, "you all need to get some sleep. I'll have Smith get a crew so we can make a room for our little friend here.

"Speaking of which, who's Fresh Meat gonna bunk with?"

"What do you mean?" Satsuke asked.

"Your room is trashed," she replied grimly. "The slime pretty much dissolved your bed as well as your door. You don't wanna go in there until our crew fixes it up."

"Chum is welcome in me quarters!" Mako said with a grin.

"No!" Piper yelled, grabbing the policeman's arm. "Coach is sleeping in my room!"

"No way, ye scallywag," the mermaid retorted, "I'm the cap'n. Chum'll be sleepin' with me!"

"Last I checked, that's illegal there, Mako."

"Ye know what I meant, ye bloody snake. At least I ain't gonna poison 'im while 'e sleeps!"

"That was an accident, you stupid fish."

"Ye wanna fight about it?" the mermaid growled, unsheathing her cutlass.

"Bring it, Captain Sparrow," the echidna hissed, rattling her tail.

Mako looked absolutely appalled. "Now ye've done it!" she roared. "Wheel me closer, Chum! I'm gonna run 'er through!"

"Enough, you two!" Satsuke yelled. "Tara, may I sleep in your room tonight?"

"No," the arachne said, crossing her arms. "No one's allowed in my room. Sorry."

"Fine," he replied, somewhat hurt. "I'll stay with Mako tonight. No offense, Piper, but I've known Mako longer."

Piper pouted, at which Mako stuck her tongue out. "Okay, Coach," she said with a sigh. "If you change your mind, you know where to find me." She then leaned into him and put her lips to his ear. "You're always welcome in my room," she purred, pointedly staring at the arachne.

Tara simply glared at her, then turned and left. "I'll make a hammock in Fish Face's room so Fuzz can sleep."

It didn't take long for things to be set up, and soon, Nakamura laid down on the hammock by the still waters of the mermaid's pool. He knew that this stillness was because Mako breathed underwater, but he still found it unnerving. The only thing that helped him relax was the smell of the salt water, and the pleasant memories it brought him. Eventually, this was enough for him to drift off to sleep. Unfortunately, that sleep was short-lived when he felt Mako's black eyes staring at him from the edge of the water. "Is something on your mind, Mako?"

"I saw Legs go into th' bathroom while ye were takin' a bath th' other day," the mermaid replied.

"Is that bothering you?"

"I canna help but wonder 'ow far she got with ye," she said.

"Not far at all," Satsuke said.

"Oh?" came the wry response. "Ye know, we _do_ 'ave some unfinished business from th' other day."

The young man gulped. "You mean-"

Before he could finish his sentence, he felt himself getting pulled into the water again. This time, he could feel that she was completely nude, causing blood to flow freely from his nose. _At this point, I'm going to die of blood loss_! he thought to himself.

"How many times do I have t' tell ye," she said, "It ain't nice t' tease a girl." She then reached down and slipped her hand down his boxer shorts. "A woman's got needs, ye know."

In all the chaos, he didn't hear the sound of rattling in the distance. He did feel something wrap itself around his neck and pull him out of the water, dangling him in mid-air. "I knew you were going to pull some shit!" Piper said, unaware that Satsuke's face was turning blue. "Come on, Coach, I'll get you dried off."

"Bring me Chum back 'ere, ye scallywag!" the mermaid shouted as the echidna slithered out of the room with Nakamura in tow. _Did I go too far this time?_ she thought to herself as a tear drifted down her cheek.

"Please bring 'im back…" she repeated, more softly than before.

Moments later, the policeman found himself alone in Piper's bedroom gasping for breath. It was nearly as large as Mako's room, with a huge bed taking up the most space. The furniture was very simple, and the walls were decorated with Native American art depicting snakes. There were also posters of American rock bands from the 1980's. He was soon joined by the echidna wearing an oversized t-shirt holding a towel. "Are you okay, Coach?" she asked as Satsuke dried himself off. "She didn't hurt you, did she?"

"Not at all," he replied with a smile, "but thank you for your concern. I just didn't want her to get deported."

"You're such a nice guy," Piper said. "I'll never forget how you said how we are all a family. Do you really not care that I'm part rattlesnake?"

"Of course not," Satsuke responded. "I've seen liminals of many kinds all the time on my patrols. As an officer of the law, I have sworn to protect and serve the people, regardless of how many legs they may have." He then looked to the echidna's bottom half. "Or if they have no legs at all.

"Besides," he continued, blushing a little, "you're also a woman. It would be unbecoming of me to treat you or the others badly."

"How come there aren't more guys like you?" Piper asked rhetorically. "We lamiae prize men like you. After all, we have no males of our own kind, so we need to have human men that have no problem with us."

"Now hold on," Nakamura said, holding up his hands, "this is going way too fast for me."

"Don't you wanna know how good a lamia is?" the echidna asked with a wicked grin. "Best of all," she continued, whispering in his ear, "we have no gag reflex."

 _This is not good_ , the policeman thought, turning white, _this evening's going to have a girl deported and a career ending if it goes on like this_. He threw the door open and ran as fast as he could, Piper hot on his heels. "Aww, come on, Coach," she yelled, "I promise I won't bite, and if I do, I'll try not to envenom you this time!"

He was almost to the stairs when the elevator door opened, revealing a still-nude Mako. "Chum!" she called. "Ye're comin' back t' me!"

Nakamura yelped and scrambled up the stairs as fast as could. Soon, he reached his destination: the ladder leading up to the attic. He began pounding on the hatch door after making his way up. "Tara!" he shouted. "Please let me in!" He knew he was taking a huge risk of having the arachne accosting him either sexually, violently, or both. _She was the only one who didn't want me in her room_ , he thought. "Tara! Please let me in!" he cried.

"Come back, Chum!" he heard the mermaid calling from the hallway. "I promise I'll be good this time!"

"No way, Mako," Piper shouted, bolting past Mako's wheelchair, "Coach is mine!"

Satsuke clamped his eyes closed as if waiting for death. _This is it_ , he thought, _this is how I die_. Suddenly, he felt himself getting lifted roughly, then heard a door slamming shut. He opened his eyes and saw only blackness to the point where he literally couldn't see his hand in front of his face. "Is this the afterlife?" he whispered.

"No, Fuzz," came the familiar reply. "God dammit, I thought I told you that I didn't want company."

"I'm sorry, Tara," Satsuke responded, gasping for breath, "but I didn't know where else to go. It seemed like the safest place to be was with someone who didn't want me there."

"I understand," the arachne said softly. "I'll be right back. Don't worry, though. When I'm through with them, they won't be going anywhere for a while."

"You're not going to hurt them, did you?"

"I told you that I'm venomous," came the reply. "However, unlike Knucklehead, my venom doesn't kill. It's only a mild paralytic. Don't worry, though; it'll wear off by morning. The worst they'll have is a minor headache and a little numbness. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go put them to bed."

Satsuke's legs gave out soon after Tara left the room, his adrenaline spent, and laid there questioning his life's choices until the arachne came back. "You're safe now, Satsuke," Tara said when she came back. "I told them that the four of us will have a little talk first thing in the morning.

"It's strange that the two of them got as aggressive as they did, though," she continued. "The full moon isn't full for another week or so."

"What's so special about that?"

"Our mating instincts take over on the full moon, and we lose control."

"Our?"

"Yes," Tara replied, her tone grave, "even mine. I'm apologizing in advance if I do anything to hurt you."

Nakamura sighed, then realized something. "You called me by my name earlier," he said.

"I thought it would make you feel better," the arachne replied evenly. After a pause, she said, "You can probably tell that we all care about you. I'm surprised, though. I was under the impression that human males liked it when women fought over them, but you don't seem interested in any of us. If that's the case, just tell us, okay? It's not like we won't get it."

"It's not that, Tara," he responded. "You have to understand that I'm at a loss as to what to do. I've never been popular with women, so to have three fighting over me is a completely new experience." He paused and said, "Would you mind turning the lights on?"

"Shit, sorry about that," the arachne replied. "I keep forgetting that humans can't see in the dark. Close your eyes, I'm going to turn the lights on, but only if you promise not to laugh at me."

"Why would I laugh?" he asked, then was momentarily blinded.

After rubbing his eyes, he scanned his surroundings to find small lines of figurines and plushes of chibi animals, as well as posters of idols and Visual Kei singers, some of whom he recognized. Most of the décor was pastel colored, and very feminine. Satsuke turned and saw that the arachne had turned away in embarrassment. "You must think I'm pathetic," she muttered.

"Not at all, Tara!" he replied, touching her lower abdomen. "This is all a part of you, and I think you're pretty amazing."

"You're a sweet guy, Fuzz," she said, her voice low. "You're going to make a woman very happy someday."

Tara sighed and then continued, "Look, you're well within your rights to reject all of us after all that we've put you through. I mean, it's not like it's legal, even if you wanted to. You have your career to think about."

"That's just it," he replied. "I don't want any of you girls to be deported, especially after all the progress you all have made." He then smiled. "It's not like the law isn't going to change, you know. This is new for all of us."

The arachne sighed and said, "Okay." She then made a hammock for him to sleep on, as well as sheets and a pillow case, then handed him a pillow. "Get some sleep. You're safe now."

"Thank you, Tara," he said after laying down. "Oh, and Tara?"

"Yeah?"

"You're very pretty when you smile."

"The sleep dep must be making you _loco_ ," she chuckled as she turned the light off. "Good night. I'm watching you, Fuzz."

She only got snores in reply. "I love you, Satsuke," she whispered.


	4. Case Docket 3

Case Docket 3 - Daily Life Under Enchantment

Satsuke woke up before the arachne, strangely well-rested. He noticed that she was curled up with one of her plushes snoring lightly. He also noticed that she had made a pair of silk lounge pants that, considering their source, were extremely comfortable. It occurred to him at that moment that he had become a lot less squeamish towards spider webs. He chalked this up to being around an arachne and her webs every day. His increasing fondness for Tara also helped him get over his squeamishness.

He opened the door quietly as to not wake Tara up, and slowly climbed down the ladder. However, the moment he closed the door above him, an all-too-familiar, condescending voice startled him: "Good morning, Nakamura-kun."

Satsuke yelped and fell backwards, finding himself on his back nearly looking up the skirt of Agent Smith. Her only reaction was to look down with that annoying smirk on her face. Whether it was because he fell or his current view, he couldn't tell. "I do hope you slept well," she said. She then turned and bent down, putting her face up to his, still smirking. "I also hope you weren't engaging in any prohibited activities. Imagine losing your job and your freedom because you had intimate relations with an arachne."

"Nothing happened," Nakamura replied with more than a little of an edge to his voice. "In fact, I spent all last night trying to avoid that happening, thank you very much!"

The agent then pointed down the hall to a pair of very sullen liminals, then helped him up. "I heard," she said with a smile devoid of any teasing.

"I'm sorry I got carried away, Coach," Piper said, her eyes downcast.

"Aye, Chum," Mako continued, "me behavior was unbecomin' of a cap'n. I already have me bags ready t' be packed if ye wish t' send me sailin'."

"Hold on," the policeman said, holding his hands up. "No one's getting kicked out, not if I have anything to say about it. Sure, things got a little crazy last night... okay a _lot_ crazy, but that doesn't mean I want any of you to leave.

"It's like I said before: we're a family, and crazy things are bound to happen."

"Speaking of crazy," Smith interjected, "I've been told that you had an uninvited guest. I've also been told that you would be a good fit for our organization. We shall see about that.

"Anyways, shall we go meet your guest?" Smith concluded.

Soon, the group was down to the recently completed containment unit, complete with a viewing window. "Are you sure that will hold her?" Satsuke asked.

"Of course," Smith replied as if the answer were obvious. "This window is made from reinforced tempered glass 30 centimeters thick, and the entire room is solid steel."

Almost in response, the black slime launched itself against the glass. "See?" Smith said.

To the surprise of the group, it took the form of a girl approximately 10 years old. "Let me out!" the slime shouted in an oddly child-like voice.

"Yar," the mermaid remarked, "look who's decided t' talk."

"Who are you?" Satsuke asked.

"I have no name, Defiler!" it yelled, "and if I did, I wouldn't tell you!"

"What do we do with her, Smith?" Nakamura asked. "Even though she attacked me, I can't bear to confine her like that."

"Ye actually feel sorry fer it?" Mako asked incredulously.

"Well, well," the agent said with a wry grin, "looks like we have a big softie. You're worse than Darling-kun."

The policeman was reminded of Miia, and what she called that boy numerous times. "Are you referring to Kimohito?"

Smith chuckled obnoxiously. "I am," she replied. "He took in a slime, as well, although one that has a much friendlier temperament. Papi called her 'Suu,' so how about we call this one 'Guu.'"

"It's as good as any," the policeman responded with a shrug.

"I will get all the data we have on Suu, which hopefully will help you," the agent said seriously. "Still, be careful around that one. Suu attacks people only when she's dehydrated. This one actually seems to hate you."

The group was joined by the arachne, who looked into the chamber. "You people work fast," she muttered. "I'm surprised I didn't hear anything." She then peered through the glass and tapped on it, earning another splash of black slime in response. "Feisty, isn't it?" Speaking into the microphone, she yelled, "Cut the shit, Sludge. You're lucky we haven't turned you into a smear on the floor."

"Where did she come from, anyway?" Piper asked, playing with her hair.

"We've sent a sample to our labs," Smith replied, her tone still serious. "We will let you know when we find anything. Now, Softie-kun, take notes on everything she does. Bring her water periodically; we need to keep her hydrated if we are to study her.

"Now, let us go upstairs," the agent continued. "I have other matters I would like to discuss with the four of you."

The group sojourned to the living room where they all sat down, except Tara who had to crouch since none of the seats could accommodate one of her size, and Mako who was seated already. It didn't take long for Smith to address the group. "Now," she started, "I can't say I was pleased to learn about your behavior last night. The only reason an international incident didn't occur was Softie-kun's amazing self-control." She then grew angry. "You can't imagine the amount of paperwork I would've had to fill out. I'm not paid enough to deal with this!"

 _Is_ that _the reason she's so angry_? Satsuke mentally asked himself. "Luckily," she continued, "there have been numerous amendments to the Interspecies Exchange Act, including one to allow for marriage between humans and liminals."

The three girls gasped in response, while Satsuke felt his blood run cold. "As I'm sure Piper has said, lamiae depend on human males to propagate their species. This is true for arachnae, as well."

"Don't spiders eat their mates?" Piper asked. "Do you guys, as well?"

"Not for centuries," Tara replied with an angry glare. "We stopped when we realized what a bad idea it was when our populations started to seriously dwindle.

"Of course," she continued, "given the long stigma humans have against spiders, finding a suitable mate has met with minimal success, with our only willing partners being pathetic little vermin who can't find a human female who would mate with them."

"Yar, still hatin' humans, I see," Mako chuckled.

"I've met only one I like and one I can barely tolerate," she growled. "That's not very good odds for my kind or theirs." She then grabbed Satsuke by the collar and roughly yanked him to eye level, close enough to feel her breath on his face. "Consider yourself fortunate, Fuzz," she snarled, but not without a surreptitious wink of one of her eyes. "I'm watching you."

"Well, if you don't want him, I'll take him," Piper said, her eyes wide and her smile even wider.

"Shut it, Knucklehead," Tara yelled as she picked up the echidna by the tail and threw her into a wall.

Smith put a hand to her lips to stifle her laughter. "If I may continue," she said, clearing her throat, "we already set up one test case. However, the results have been, shall we say, less than successful, so, we will not force Softie-kun into it." The agent looked to Satsuke. "If feelings for any of the girls in your household develop, we will not only allow the relationship, but we will sanction it.

"By the way," she said, "we have decided to allow for limited trips outside for the three of you. As I've said before, Softie-kun has reported remarkable progress in you girls. The only injuries we've noted have been between the three of you and not Softie-kun. Keeping that in mind, we will be sending visitors to determine if you all are ready, the first being for Mako."

Smith gathered her paperwork and left. "Do your best!"

The silence was palpable after the agent left, until a weak voice came from the other end of the living room. "But why...?" Piper groaned as she fell to the floor.

"Now, girls," Nakamura said, "I have to get ready for work. I don't want to see this house destroyed when I get home. Am I clear?"

"Aye aye, Chum!"

"Whatever, Fuzz."

"Ow, my head."

Satsuke's mind whirled as he put on his uniform, constantly mulling over what Smith had said to the group. His legs were sore by the time he arrived at the park. Despite the soreness, he was able to keep his mind on his patrol. However, it distracted him to the point where he didn't notice the shadow that was looming above him. Suddenly, he felt himself being picked up roughly by the arms and lifted skyward.

He looked and saw sharp talons attached to red scales gripping him tightly. Looking up, he saw what looked like a scaled harpy with pink hair wearing torn overalls. "Let me go this instant!" Satsuke shouted.

Suddenly, he felt himself plummeting to the ground only to be picked up again, this time by the harpy who lived with Kimohito. "You okay?" she chirped. "Why are you trying to fly? Seems kind of silly, you know."

"Just please put me down, Papi," he moaned.

Soon, the policeman was brought down and was dropped roughly onto the ground from a safe distance where Smith and Tionishia waited for him. "Oh no, are you okay, Satsi-kun?" she asked frantically before grabbing him and smothering him in her oversized bust.

He struggled at first until he felt himself becoming especially calm, given what he had just been through. She then released him when she saw his face turning blue. "Sorry, Satsi-kun," Tionishia cried.

"I should warn you that ogres tend to have a calming effect on others, although it seemed to be exactly what you needed after what happened," Smith said

Nakamura was gob smacked. He thought that ogres were supposed to be hulking beasts with temperaments uglier than their faces. This girl was not only adorable, but an absolute sweetheart. "What was that?" Satsuke asked when his head cleared. "What just happened?"

"That," Smith said, "was a wyvern. We haven't seen that many of them here at the agency, but the few we have encountered have caused us problems not unlike what you just experienced. Thankfully, none of the people were seriously harmed. You're lucky that Darling-kun saw you when he did and sent Papi. We will be on the lookout for her and deal with her accordingly."

"Thank you, Smith-san," the policeman said after dusting himself off.

"Hey, Officer Cutie!" a voice called from a distance. "You okay? I've got your bike!"

The group was soon joined by the kobold riding up to them on Nakamura's bicycle. "I see you're already acquainted with Polt," Smith said with her ever-present smirk.

"I'm fine, thank you, Polt," he replied.

The kobold clapped him on the arm. "Glad to hear it," Polt responded. "Gotta watch out for those wyverns. Anyways, better take off. A businesswoman's work is never done!" the kobold said before taking off running.

"I need to get back to my patrols," Satsuke responded after catching his breath. "Thanks again."

"I'll meet you back at your house after your shift," the agent said. "I've arranged a visitor for Mako, and we need your supervision."

"Understood," the policeman said before riding off.

He came home a few hours later and collapsed on the couch, soon to be joined by Mako. "Ahoy, Chum!" she greeted him with a toothy grin. "Heard ye 'ad a bit o' excitement."

"Don't remind me," Satsuke groaned.

"Don't ye worry," she said. "If I find who did it, I'll run 'im through with me sword. No one 'urts me Chum an' gets away with it."

"Calm down, Mako," Satsuke said with a warm smile. "You don't want to jeopardize your chance to go out."

As if on cue, the door opened, and soon Smith walked in pushing a wheelchair. On that wheelchair sat the mermaid called Mero. "Dear Officer," she warmly greeted. "It's a pleasure to see you again."

"Well, if it ain't Merouine Lorelei du Neptune," Mako spat the name as if it were a curse. "What makes ye grace us with yer royal presence."

"Dear Cousin!" Mero said elatedly. "I heard there was one of the shark-folk here, but I could scarcely believe it. I'm overjoyed to finally meet you!"

"Aye," she responded gruffly. "'Ye're lucky I made a promise t' me dad that I'd be pleasant t' ye Beautiful Ones."

The smile never left Mero's face. "I've heard so many stories about the shark merfolk. The adventure, the excitement... I do hope you can share some with me."

"Ye'll get nothin' from me, ye watery tart!" Mako growled, her voice getting louder. "I ain't no prancin' dolphin 'ere t' entertain ye."

"I've been told of how the shark-folk feel about us," she responded softly, reaching for the other mermaid's hand. "Rest assured, Dear Cousin, I wish for nothing but friendship with you."

"Stop callin' me yer 'cousin!'" Mako yelled as she pulled her hand away. "Ye ain't no family t' me!"

"What do you know of your mother?" Mero asked without missing a beat.

"If ye must know," the other mermaid replied with a sneer, "me mum was a mean piece o' work. Couldn't do nothin' right, accordin' to 'er. All I heard from 'er was that I weren't no daughter of 'ers. Ne'er liked 'er an' ain't plannin' on startin'."

"Actually," Mero said softly, a frown on her lips, "your mother loved you very much. Her deepest regret was that she could never be there for you, or hold you in her arms. She also deeply loved your father."

"What're ye on about?" Mako responded, taken aback.

"As I said," Mero replied, her eyes becoming wet with tears, "my mother's sister loved you and your father very much, and it crushed her that she couldn't be there for you. In life, my family cast her out, but her tragic life was praised after her death. She died of a broken heart.

"When I found out that you were here, I knew in my heart that I needed to meet you," she continued. "I needed to see for myself."

Tears began rolling down Mako's cheeks. "Ye're not lyin' t' me, are ye?"

Mero reached out for the other mermaid, who fell into her arms weeping openly. "Please don't hate her, Dear Cousin," Mero said softly.

Satsuke held out a handkerchief, which Mako gladly took. "You look like her," Mero continued, smiling sweetly. "You have your father's eyes and his teeth, of course." She then turned to Satsuke and said, "Dear Officer, please do let her go and feel the sun against her face and the ocean in her gills.

"All I ask, Dear Cousin, is for you to visit me so you can share stories with me. You can meet my Dear Sir and my friends, as well."

Mako smiled after wiping away her tears. "Aye, I can do that fer ye," she said. "I'll tell ye some o' th' tall tales me dad told me on 'is fin when I was a wee guppy... since ye're family an' all."

"Dear Officer, please take care of her and be a good friend to her," Mero said to Satsuke, putting a hand on his arm.

Mako laughed raucously. "Ye needn't worry 'bout me Chum!" she said, clapping him on the back. "He's th' best shipmate a pirate can ask fer.

"An' Yer Highness?" Mako continued.

"Please," she replied, "call me 'Mero.'"

"Thanks fer tellin' me, Mero. If ye 'ave a picture o' me real mum, I'd like t' have one."

It was Smith who opened her briefcase and handed a small framed picture bearing the image of a beautiful mermaid with sad eyes. Satsuke saw that, true to Mero's word, the mermaid in the picture bore more than a passing resemblance to Mako. "We must be going," the agent said, unusually subdued. "We'll be in touch."

After they left, Mako looked up at Satsuke. "Chum," she said softly, tears starting to flow from her eyes again, "Can ye wheel me downstairs? I'm gonna need some time t' meself, if ye don't mind."

"Of course, Mako," he said with a smile. "I'll bring your dinner down for you, if you'd like. I'll be coming down to check on you, and to see if you need anything."

 _What I need is fer ye t' hold me_. "Aye, Chum," she responded softly.

The policeman wheeled the despondent mermaid to her room, then closed the door gently behind him, shooing away Piper and Tara, who had come downstairs. "What's going on?" Piper asked. "What's wrong with Mako?"

"Leave her alone for a while," Satsuke replied firmly. "She'll talk about it when she's ready."

"But..."

"He told you to leave her alone, Knucklehead!" Tara barked.

The echidna bowed her head, then slithered away. After an awkward silence, Tara asked, "Was I too harsh?"

"She's worried," Satsuke replied, "and so are you."

"Yeah," the arachne said softly. "I'll go apologize to her."

"Gently?"

Tara looked at him and smiled warmly. "Yeah," she said. "As long as I get to throw her after."

Satsuke simply chuckled and shook his head as the pair walked up the stairs.

A heavy pall hung over the group during dinner, each concerned for their normally jovial friend. "It feels weird," Piper said. "I miss her dirty jokes, as terrible as they were."

"Let's not talk about it, Knucklehead," Tara grumbled.

The girls decided to turn in early for the night, not wishing to endure the awkward silence. Satsuke gathered the rest of dinner and brought it down to Mako's room. "Your dinner's here if you're hungry," he called after knocking on her door.

In response, he heard the wailing of a mermaid grieving the mother she never knew. He tried the knob, only to find it locked. All the young man could do was shake his head, unable to do anything for his friend and unknowing as to what to do.

x

The next day saw Satsuke making breakfast deep in thought when Tara scuttled in. "Did Fish Face ever come out?" she asked.

"No, she didn't," the policeman replied. "I'm sure she'll be fine, though."

He looked over and saw the concerned expression on the arachne's face. "She'll be fine," he repeated.

"Ahoy friends," Mako said softly as she wheeled in. "What's fer breakfast?"

"Eggs, fish, and chicken with rice," he replied.

"Jus' a little bit fer me," the mermaid said. "Not really 'ungry."

"You're starting to worry me, Fish Face," the arachne said.

"I'm fine, Legs," Mako said, smiling warmly. "Got a lot on me mind, is all. Chum, I know ye were gonna take me out, but I think I'm gonna pass. Don't much feel like it."

"Too bad," Satsuke responded. "I was thinking of taking you fishing. Thought maybe some fresh air will do you good."

"Yeah, Fish Face," Tara growled, "you're bringing everyone down."

Mako looked up at Tara with a hurt expression, which shocked the arachne. "Sorry, Mako," she said softly. "Seriously, let Fuzz take you out. It'll make you feel better."

The mermaid smiled. "No hard feelin's, Legs. I know ye care, in yer own way."

"Yeah, whatever," the arachne muttered.

The mermaid then looked up at Satsuke. "So, where ye takin' me, anyway," she asked.

"It's a surprise," he said enthusiastically. When a car horn sounded, he said, "And that would be our ride. Tara, I trust you can handle things while we're gone?"

As if in response, they heard Piper shrieking, "Stop doing that! That's just gross!"

"And please," he said, "don't throw Piper into any walls."

"I make no promises," the arachne growled softly, but not without a wink and a smile. "Now get the Hell out of here."

The policeman blindfolded Mako and wheeled her to the car. When he put her in the seat, he was surprised at how light she was. Soon, they arrived at a dock near a fishing boat. "Is that smell what I think it is?" Mako asked, excitement growing in her voice.

"You just wait, Mako," Satsuke said as he wheeled her on board.

After a half hour out, Mako yelled, "Bloody 'ell, Chum, lemme see!" She ripped off the blindfold, and her mouth went agape when she saw that they were at the open sea.

"Surprise!" Nakamura said, his hand on the mermaid's shoulder. "Now, jump in and have fun."

The mermaid needed no further encouragement as she pulled her clothes off and dove in before Satsuke could say another word, knocking him to the floor of the boat with her tail. It didn't take long before he saw violent splashing and the water turning red. This went on several times until Mako floated to the surface on her back with a hand on her belly and a smile on her face. After a loud, satisfied belch, she said, "Yar, Chum. Ye sure know 'ow t' show a girl a good time. When ye said ye were takin' me fishin', I 'ad no idea that this was what ye meant."

"Are you ready to go, or would you like to swim some more?"

Without another word, she dove back in, then jumped out of the water, landing in the policeman's arms. The helmsman of the boat quickly brought a towel to cover up the mermaid before Satsuke could get a good look to prevent a nosebleed. "This is th' perfect way t' end a perfect day, Chum," she said as she put her arms around him. "A good feedin' frenzy and bein' carried like a princess."

"I'm glad you had a good day, Mako," he responded. "I'll get your clothes, and we can go home."

"Would ye mind wheelin' me home? I don't want this day to end."

"Sure," he said. "We're not terribly far."

The pair were strolling home not long after they reached land. Mako was humming a jaunty tune when they happened upon a couple that Satsuke had heard about. The man had bleached blonde hair and had a well-worn bomber jacket. The woman's hair was also bleached blonde, which was styled in a frizzy perm. She had layers of dark make-up on her face in the _ganguro_ fashion. "Oh my God!" the man yelled with raucous laughter.

"That is the _ugliest_ mermaid I've ever seen!" his companion added, laughing cruelly.

"I didn't know it was Shark Week! If I had known, I would've brought my harpoon!"

"It looks like her _boyfriend_ has a harpoon already, if you know what I mean!"

"I'll give ye one warnin', matey," Mako growled. "Say what ye will about me, but leave me Chum out o' it."

The man laughed even harder. "Oh my God, she thinks she's a pirate! Well, have at ye, Captain Sparrow!"

"Now ye done it, ye bastard," the mermaid snarled. "I'll run ye through fer that."

"Easy, Mako," Satsuke said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Let me handle them." With that, he walked up to the couple and said, "I feel that the way you are speaking to her is highly improper. I must ask you to apologize to her and be on your way."

The woman fell to her knees clutching her stomach, laughing even harder. "Looks like her boyfriend's trying to defend her honor!"

"Honor?" The man cackled. "Pirates have honor?!"

Nakamura pulled out his badge. "I'll ask you again to please apologize to our guest and be on your way."

The man turned serious. "Oh yeah?" the racist said. "What're you gonna do, arrest me?"

Satsuke smiled. "Go ahead... make my day... punk!"

The man threw a punch which, thanks to the policeman's training at the academy, he could dodge easily. Nakamura then threw a punch directly into the man's kidneys, making him urinate in his pants. "Now, please be on your way, and maybe I won't have you arrested for attacking a police officer," he said politely. "Before you go, please apologize to our guest for your rude behavior."

"Sorry," he rasped before stumbling away, his girlfriend yelling at him the entire time.

"Shall we go?" Satsuke asked.

The mermaid, who was rendered speechless, simply nodded.

The pair arrived at the house just before dark. The policeman made dinner for Tara and Piper while Mako took a shower to clean the salt off her body. "Why isn't Mako joining us?" the echidna asked.

"Oh, she already ate," Satsuke replied with a smile.

"She looks like she had a good time," the arachne said softly.

The policeman looked up, and saw Tara picking at her food with a sad look on her face. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, fine," Tara replied. "If I may be excused, I don't have much of an appetite."

Piper and Satsuke watched as the arachne slowly scuttled away to her room. "Should I go after her?" the echidna asked.

"No," the young man said, "we just had the walls repaired yesterday."

"I'm worried about her, Coach," Piper said. "She was kinda mopey all day."

"I'm sure it's nothing."

"Coach, she didn't throw me at all while you and Mako were gone," the echidna retorted. "Something's wrong."

"Hopefully our outing tomorrow will make her feel better," the young man said. "Which reminds me; I would like your help in getting ready." He pulled out his phone and brought up a photograph. "Can you make me look like this?"

Piper looked at the picture, then looked at Satsuke. "I'll make you look even better," she said with a big smile. The echidna then squealed. "I can't wait! Tara won't be able to resist you."

"Thank you, Piper," the young man said as he finished eating.

After washing the dishes and putting Tara's dinner in the refrigerator, Satsuke went down into the basement and turned on Guu's bath so she could hydrate herself. The slime simply shot a jet of sludge at the window in response. He couldn't be sure, but Guu seemed slightly more translucent. At this point, she walked over to the window and tapped on it. "Hello, Guu," the policeman said through the microphone. "How are you feeling?"

"When will you release me, Defiler?" she asked.

"Hopefully soon," he replied sincerely. "We need to make sure you won't harm anyone."

Her eyes glowed red, and bore into his. Then, without a word, she snaked a feeler into the tub and promptly drained it dry. "Whether you believe me or not, Guu," he said, "I would like us to be friends."

Her only response was to continue glaring at him, but her expression was more of confusion rather than anger or hatred. "Ye feel sorry for 'er, don't ye."

Satsuke looked over and saw Mako sitting next to him in her wheelchair. "I can't help it," he replied. "How would you feel if you were trapped in a steel container?"

"Even after she attacked ye?" she asked, her tone without judgment.

"She called me 'Defiler,'" he said. "I want to know why."

The mermaid smiled. "Smith's right: ye're too much of a softie," she said as she stroked his back. "That's why ye're one o' th' good ones. Can we talk alone?"

"Sure," the policeman said with a nod, and wheeled her into her room. When the door was closed, he asked, "What's on your mind?"

"Why'd ye do what ye did earlier?" she asked bluntly. "Ye know, rough up them hooligans?"

Satsuke knelt so he could meet her at eye-level. "They were behaving shamefully towards not only the shark merfolk's representative, but also a woman, and my friend," he replied officiously. "I tried to resolve the situation peacefully, but that young man left me with no alternative.

"Besides, people like that aren't worth you getting deported over," he concluded, the smile never leaving his face.

"No one's e'er done that fer me," Mako said softly. "Ne'er defended me honor, ne'er took me out so I can 'ave a frenzy… ne'er treated me like a woman." She then reached out and embraced him. "Thank ye, Satsuke. Ye made me really happy today."

"I'm glad, Mako."

"Mala."

Nakamura looked at the mermaid. "What?"

"That's th' name me dad gave me," she said when she released him. "I only let people I love call me by that name."

"So why 'Mako?'" Satsuke asked. _Did she just tell me that she loves me?_ he thought to himself.

"Well, Mala's not much of a pirate name, innit?" she replied boisterously. "None feared Edward Teach, but they sailed far as they could when they heard th' name 'Blackbeard.' So ye canna expect people t' be shakin' in their fins when they 'ear th' name 'Mala O'Porbeagle,' can ye? So, I took th' name 'Mako th' Merciless.' Has a nice ring t' it, don't ye think?"

The policeman laughed. "I suppose it does," he replied. "Thank you, Mala."

The mermaid wheeled over to her bureau and pulled something out, then wheeled back to him. Revealing that it was what looked like one of her teeth, she said, "Hold out yer hand."

When he complied, she took the tooth and slashed his hand with it, causing him to wince in pain. "What did you do that for?" he cried.

She said nothing, and then did the same with her own hand, then clasped his injured hand. "We're now bonded by blood, Chum," Mala said, her tone serious. "This means that we're bound forever, that we shall always be shipmates an' companions. This means that, no matter if it's ragin' storms or smooth sailin', I'll always be 'ere for ye, no matter what. This means that, if ye'll 'ave me, I'll gladly be yer lover. If ye choose someone other than me, someone like Legs or even Pipes, while me heart may break, we'll always be friends.

"Will ye accept me loyalty, Satsuke Nakamura?" Mala concluded. "Will ye accept me friendship?"

"Aye aye, Captain O'Porbeagle," Satsuke said with a smile. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to bandage my hand."

The mermaid nodded. "Of course, Chum," she said. "G'night."

Satsuke walked up the stairs and went into the bathroom, relieved that he didn't run into Tara or Piper on the way. He didn't want to have to explain why his hand was bleeding. After cleaning the wound, he was glad that, while he knew it would leave a scar, he wouldn't need stitches. _She loves me?_ he mentally asked himself. _I couldn't even get a date while at I was in high school!_

Piper was in her bedroom by the time he had gotten out of the bathroom. He could hear rock music blaring from her bedroom. As he walked towards his own bedroom, he heard the faint sounds of weeping from the attic. "Tara," he whispered.

He went over to his bed and collapsed on his mattress. Despite his mind being in a whirlwind, and an uneasy feeling in his stomach, he was able to quickly fall asleep.

x

Satsuke and Smith were looking through the window of Guu's chamber the following morning. The black slime stared back at them, occasionally pounding on the window. For the first time since he met the irritating agent, he was relieved that she was there. Her presence helped take his mind off the thoughts that had been nagging at him the night before. "So, what have you learned about her?" Nakamura asked.

"All we've learned from our analyses is that some of her chemical composition matches water samples from Fukushima," the agent replied grimly.

The policeman went pale. "No wonder she attacked us," he responded. "She's probably gone completely mad." He then grabbed Smith's shoulder. "Is she radioactive?" Satsuke asked.

"Amazingly, no," she replied, gently taking his hand off her. "We did Geiger counter readings and the findings were negligible, and non-existent on Piper, who was the only one of you who made physical contact. To be honest, we're stumped as to why this is the case. It must be something about a slime's physiology.

"However," Smith concluded, "her body is still acidic, so touching her is still a bad idea."

Satsuke nodded. "Guu," he said through the microphone, "I understand your anger, and I agree with you."

The slime arched an eyebrow. "We are doing what we can to clean up what happened," he continued. "It may not be enough now, but our efforts are continuous. Believe me when I tell you, I am so sorry for what happened to you."

Guu simply stared in response. Nakamura started to turn away to leave when the slime knocked firmly on the glass. "Yes, Guu?" Satsuke said.

"Give me your thoughts," she replied. "No harm will come to you."

The policeman turned off the mic and looked to Smith. She shrugged and said, "It's your funeral."

"I'm a police officer," was his response. "Risk is part of my job. Still, you have the sprinkler control. If she tries to melt me or absorb me, turn it on."

Smith nodded and opened the door for Satsuke when he stood in front of it. He then nervously entered the room and walked up to Guu, who closed her eyes and put out a feeler, attaching it to his head. He felt it burn his skin, but not unbearably so. After the longest thirty seconds of his life, she released him and looked him in the eyes. "You will need ointment for your skin, and soon," she said flatly. "Your words are sincere, if misguided. I will not attack you unprovoked."

"And the others?"

"They are not defilers. They are fools, especially the echidna. Now go, before the burns get worse."

Satsuke nodded, then looked to Smith, who opened the door. "I'll be back," he said. "You have my word."

"I believe you, human."

When the policeman left the chamber, he looked to Smith and said, "I think she's ready to be let out."

"We'll need to detoxify her first for your safety, or at least cover her up," the agent responded.

"I have an old raincoat and rubber boots in the closet by the door, and rubber gloves under the sink," he said with a smile. "Now, I need to get to the bathroom. My skin is really starting to hurt."

"Already on it, Coach!" Piper said from the middle of the stairs, who wrapped her tail around his neck and dragged him roughly towards the washroom.

Soon, the trio were joined by Tara and Mala as antibiotic ointment was rubbed on his face. "What the 'ell were ye thinkin', Chum?!" the mermaid asked incredulously. "She coulda killed ye!"

"Yeah, Fuzz," Tara glowered. "There's compassion and then there's stupidity."

"Actually," Smith interjected, "Softie-kun took precautions. If something were to happen, I would've turned on the sprinklers. Thankfully, all he got for his troubles were a few blisters."

Mala smiled. "That's me Chum," she said. "So, what 'ave ye learned?"

Smith and Nakamura explained the slime's possible origins, and the plans they had. "She needs help," Satsuke concluded.

Before the others could protest, Smith added, "If anyone could help her, it's Softie-kun. After all, he's done wonders for three troubled girls that I happen to know."

After an awkward pause, Tara said, "Fine. I'm not thrilled with the idea, though."

"We'll be doing a final analysis to see if rubber can withstand her acidity. In the meantime, Tara, you need to get yourself ready for your outing with Softie-kun."

The arachne's six eyes went wide. "You've made incredible progress well beyond anyone's expectations, after all," the agent continued with a wry grin. "While we couldn't arrange for anyone to meet you, Softie-kun has spoken very highly of you and has recommended something special for you."

All Tara could do was stand with her mouth agape. "Yar, this be th' first time I e'er seen Legs rendered speechless."

"I suggest you go to your room and start making yourself pretty," Smith said with a wink.

"Yeah," Tara rasped, her mouth dry. "Yeah, sure." _It's actually happening!_ she giddily thought to herself.

The arachne's mind whirled and her heart pounded as slowly scuttled toward the attic. When she arrived in her bedroom, her stoic façade disappeared, replaced by a squeal of joy. _What do I wear?_ she asked herself mentally. _I wish I knew where he was taking me._

The hairs on Tara's lower body bristled with anticipation as she started getting undressed. She had just finished putting her underwear on when she was startled by a voice behind her. "Looks like little Tara has a date tonight," the voice purred.

The large arachne quickly composed herself. "Well," she growled softly, "if it isn't Rachnera Arachnera." She then turned around and got in close to her visitor. "And what have I done for you to grace me with your presence?" she snarled with a grin, revealing her fangs threateningly.

Tara's uninvited guest was another arachne. The one called Rachnera was comparatively smaller, while still much taller than most humans. Her spider half was completely hairless, with a skull marking on her lower abdomen. Her human half was that of a stunning, voluptuous woman with chin-length lavender hair and six red eyes. Her choice of clothing was much more provocative compared to Tara's, leaving little to the imagination. While Rachnera kept a cool and haughty expression on her face, the larger arachne was one of the few people she had any real fear of. She knew that Tara, while not possessing as short of a temper as others of her breed, was still dangerous, thus Rachnera knew better than to push her luck. "I hear that little Tara has found a human she's allowed to live," Rachnera said with a grin. "That's not like you."

Tara had loathed the smaller arachne since the day they met. Tara heard about how the smaller breed can be arrogant and manipulative, which Rachnera confirmed the moment she opened her mouth. However, the pair had a mutual understanding, given their similar experiences as having aspects of creatures loathed by much of humanity. "Fuzz is tolerable," she muttered, "and your human?"

"Oh, Honey's an absolute doll," Rachnera said with a smile that made Tara want to punch her. "He is so much fun to play with."

"How like your kind," Tara responded, "always playing with their food. So, what do you want?"

"I couldn't help but overhear what that bimbo from the Organization and your pet human were talking about. Since I know you're not so _experienced_ in such matters, I thought I can give you some pointers."

Tara grabbed the other arachne by the throat and lifted her up, putting her face within centimeters of the other's. "What. Do. You. Want?!"

Rachnera pried the large arachne's claws away and caught her breath, then looked at Tara. "I want to help you," she said sincerely. "This human seems to be the only one who's ever treated you well, so I want to help you have a good time."

Tara smiled. As much as she hated Rachnera for her condescending nature, she knew that the smaller arachne wasn't a liar. "Now," Rachnera said in a serious tone, "I don't want to ruin the surprise. I just need you to trust me."

"Fine," Tara grumbled. After hearing footsteps below the attic, she whispered, "Keep it down, though. Now, what do I do?"

Later that evening, Piper sat with Satsuke helping him get ready. "Oh my god, I'm _so_ jealous," she said dramatically. "When's it gonna be my turn?"

"It will come soon enough, Piper," the young man replied. "I do appreciate your help."

"It's nothing, Coach," the echidna said softly, a tinge of sadness in her voice. "Tara can be really mean sometimes, but she does like you. I can see how she looks at you when she thinks no one's looking."

"You do tend to push her buttons, you know," Satsuke said with a smile.

"You're right, Coach," Piper said with a sigh. She then slithered back to get a good look, then smiled. "Now I _am_ jealous," she said. "You look gorgeous."

She then turned him to look at a mirror, of which he said, "I look ridiculous."

"Trust me, Coach," the lamia said, "if she's anything like you say she is, she'll love it."

While this all was happening, Mala sat in her chair becoming impatient. She saw Tara scuttle quickly to the bathroom carrying a clothes hanger with opaque plastic obscuring what adorned it, slamming the door behind her. Like Piper, she was also jealous of Tara, but unlike the echidna, the mermaid also felt excited for both Satsuke and the arachne, since she cared deeply for both. She knew that Nakamura would have something special planned. Soon, she heard footsteps coming down from the stairs, so she wheeled herself as fast as she could. What she saw was a tall _bishonen_ with finely coifed hair, a ruffled satin shirt, tight leather pants, and platform boots. She scarcely recognized this man as Satsuke Nakamura. She couldn't resist giving a wolf-whistle as he walked down the stairs. "Lookin' good, Chum!" she yelled. "I could jus' eat ye up!"

The policeman covered his face to hide his blushing until the group heard a voice from the bathroom call, "If any of you laugh, I swear I will fucking kill you."

"Come out, Tara," Nakamura said as he stood outside the door.

The sight that greeted the two of them made both their hearts skip a beat. The arachne's hair, while still wild, looked intentionally so. Her normally tan skin was slightly pale and airbrushed smooth, and her full lips were deep red. Her clothes were uncharacteristically elegant, accented with bows and lace. He noticed that, with his boots on, he was almost as tall as she was. "You're beautiful," he said breathlessly.

"So are you," the arachne responded softly. She then cleared her throat and continued, "So where are we going all dressed up like this."

"It's a surprise," he said with a smile.

"Trust me, Legs!" Mala shouted. "Chum's got real good surprises!"

A horn sounded from outside, of which Nakamura said as smoothly as he could, "Our ride awaits."

He then took Tara by a claw and led her outside to see what looked like a box truck that had been converted into a limousine. The pair boarded, and were soon brought to what looked like a large warehouse. "What the Hell is this, Fuzz?" the arachne growled, seemingly back to normal.

"Trust me, Tara," was all he would say.

The pair were met by the ever-smiling face of Polt the kobold. "Hey, it's Officer Cutie reporting for duty, and damn, he's a beauty!" She then extended a hand to Tara and said, "And you must be Tara! I bid you welcome to opening night of Polt's Liminal Lounge! You see, most clubs simply can't accommodate the larger folks, so this is where I come in! It's not right that bigger girls like you don't get to enjoy live music.

"Sure, it doesn't look like much," Polt added, "but I needed to get this place up to code first."

"So, who's playing tonight?" the arachne asked, the edge never leaving her voice.

"Judging by your sweet clothes, you might dig them," the kobold said with her infectious enthusiasm. "The first band's called Sanguine Solstice. They're a little too metal for my tastes, but their singer is _gorgeous_. The other's called Fin du Monde. If you like Moi Dix Mois, you'll probably like them. Anyways, I gotta go back in. You two lovebirds are early, so come in, have a couple of drinks and enjoy!"

After Polt closed the door behind her, Tara got right up to Satsuke's face and bared her fangs. "How many people did you tell?" she snarled.

"I had to tell Smith so I could arrange for tonight," the young man replied, his eyes wide with fear. "I also needed to tell Piper so she could help me get ready. I'm sorry!"

"So, let me get this straight," the arachne said, her tone grimmer, "you told Knucklehead and that agent _puta_ one of my deepest secrets just so you could take me to some damned Visual Kei show at a dingy warehouse?"

Satsuke gulped. "Ummm… yeah?"

Suddenly, Tara smiled sweetly and hugged him, burying his face into her ample cleavage. "You're the best, Fuzz," she said. "That's the coolest thing anyone's ever done for me."

When she released him and he caught his breath, Satsuke said, "Let's go in. I'll buy you an iced latte."

A few hours later, the pair left the club followed by a very tall and well-muscled horned woman with blue skin, and a human of indeterminate gender. "Hey, Tara," the oni said perkily, "it was so cool to meet you! We oughta hang out sometime!"

"Damned right, Oniko," replied the grinning arachne. "We're _so_ lucky to have such cool hosts."

"Go home, spider, you're drunk," Oniko laughed.

"I'm _so_ not drunk," the arachne snarled, then stumbled a little. She then giggled and said, "Okay, maybe a little."

"Come, Tara," Satsuke said when the converted truck arrived, "let's go home." He then turned to the oni's host and said, "I'm glad this place exists. Besides, I haven't been to a show since high school."

"I know, right?" the other human said in a masculine voice. "It's good to cut loose every now and then." He then looked to Oniko and said, "Our new friends need this."

Satsuke extended his hand. "It's good to have met you, Hiroshi-san."

Hiroshi shook hands and replied, "Likewise, Officer Nakamura. Anyways, I'm going to walk Oniko home and get some sleep. I have to work tomorrow morning!"

"Of course," the policeman said. "Now be good and stay safe!"

Soon, the truck arrived at their house and the pair stood outside the door. "Thank you for a great time, Fuzz," Tara said, smiling sweetly, "and remind me to thank that kobold. Before tonight, I resigned myself to never getting to see a band play."

"It was my pleasure, Tara," Satsuke replied.

The arachne turned serious. "Look, I have a lot I want to say," she said softly, "but I really don't know how. Fuck, this might just be the latte talking. All I can say is that you're something that's never happened to me before. You're the only person I've known that's never treated me like either a freak or some sick fetish. You treat me like I'm just a regular girl.

"You're really sweet, Satsuke," Tara continued, "and I'm sorry for being such a bitch to you."

"Think nothing of it, Tara," the young man said with a smile, taking a claw in his hand.

The pair stood silently for what felt like an eternity. _Is this the part where I'm supposed to kiss her?_ Satsuke mentally asked himself. _Is kissing prohibited?_ Suddenly, a slurring, raucous voice shouted, "Oh bloody 'ell, kiss already!"

The pair turned to the window to see a grinning mermaid in the window holding a mostly-empty rum bottle. _Guess I'll never know,_ he thought. The arachne tried to look angry, then started laughing. "Come," Satsuke said, "let's go inside. Maybe next time, I'll take you to see ANM48."

"You're way too good to me, Fuzz," Tara responded with a grin.

The first thing Satsuke did when he came in was take the platform boots off his aching feet. He then excused himself so he could take a shower and go to bed. Piper looked especially sullen as Tara excitedly told Mala about the show. The mermaid then looked over at the echidna and, seeing her sad expression, gestured that the two of them should go downstairs to talk about the rest. She then wheeled herself over Piper and put a webbed hand on her arm, smiling understandingly. "Yer turn'll come soon enough, lass," she said. "Chum'll show ye a good time, too. He jus' needs t' get t' know ye better so he can do that.

"Jus' be patient, eh?" Mala concluded.

"Yeah, Knucklehead," Tara said, also smiling. "Don't let it get to you."

"What if he doesn't want to?" Piper asked, tears streaming from her eyes. "I mean, I nearly killed him!"

"You're thinking I haven't?" the arachne said, winking three of her eyes. "Hell, if it makes you feel any better, I actually _wanted_ to at first, but only because he was a human."

When Mala saw Piper's angry expression, she patted the echidna on the arm. "She's 'ad some pretty nasty experiences with humans. If ye knew what she'd been through, ye'd hardly judge 'er."

Tara nodded. "I know I've given you a lot of shit and thrown you into the wall a few times, Knucklehead, but I think you're okay," she said.

Piper scrutinized the arachne for a moment, then asked, "Are you drunk?"

Tara chuckled. "Yeah," she said, "but know this: when an arachne says something, she means it. Listen to Fish Face and give Fuzz a chance to know you, okay? I did just that and, as a result, I had the time of my life."

"Thanks, girls," the echidna said with a smile after a pause. "I'm gonna go crash. Good night."

After Piper left, Tara yawned and excused herself. "I probably need to sleep this off," she said after grabbing a bottle of water. "With any luck, I won't have a hangover tomorrow."

As she turned to leave, Mala suddenly said, "Ye're in love with 'im, aren't ye."

The arachne turned her head. "And you're not?"

"Oh, I am… madly," the mermaid replied with a sigh. "Thing is, I know ye'd treat 'im well, now that ye know what kind o' guy he is, which is why I'll not get in yer way if he chooses ye. Regardless, we're still friends, Tara."

The arachne smiled at her friend calling her by her name for the first time. "Yeah, we are," she said, "and you know what? If I were to lose to anyone, I'd want it to be you, Mako."

"Th' name's 'Mala'," the mermaid said firmly. "If ye're gonna be callin' me by me name, I want ye t' be callin' me by th' name me dad gave me. Ye're one o' me best mates, Tara. I wouldn't be tellin' ye if ye weren't."

Tara scuttled over to her friend and gently put a claw on her shoulder. "Can I still call you 'Fish Face?'" she asked.

Mala laughed from her belly. "If ye didn't, I'd think there'd be somethin' wrong with ye! Now, take a shower an' go t' bed, Legs!"

"Fine," the arachne grinned. "By the way, Fish Face, you need to brush your teeth. Your breath stinks of booze and stale cod."

The mermaid laughed even harder. "Yar, this comin' from a bint who eats flea-bitten rats in th' attic!"

"The fleas add flavor!" Tara retorted, squealing with laughter. "Anyways, I'm going to bed. Good night, Fish Face."

"G'night, Legs," Mala responded. "Don't ye let th' bed bugs bite, an' if they do, bite 'em back!"


	5. Case Docket 4

Case Docket 4 - Daily Life Under Lunacy

Tara woke up the following morning with a splitting headache and itching chitin on her lower half. _God damn it_ , she thought to herself, _it's that time. I wouldn't have drunk so much if I knew I'd be molting today_. With great difficulty, she climbed out of her hammock. Even then, she felt her legs buckle a few times, and after a few steps, she crashed on the floor. It wasn't long until her door flew open to reveal a very concerned Satsuke Nakamura. "Tara," he cried out," are you all right?!"

"No, I'm not all right!" she screamed.

"Sorry," he said. "You must be hung over. I'll get some pain pills and leave you be."

"That ain't gonna work, moron!" Tara shouted angrily. "I'm about to molt! Now get out!"

The young man quietly left, closing the door behind him. The sight of Mala when he reached the floor made him reflexively look at the scar on his hand and think back on his outing with her. It was that night that she told him her real name, and confessed her love for him, which was something that he hadn't fully processed until that moment. That realization made him suspect that Tara was trying to tell him the same thing the night before. _What am I going to do_? he thought.

"What happened?" the mermaid asked with concern in her voice. "I heard a loud crash then Legs yellin' at ye. She hung over or somethin'?"

He felt a small measure of relief for the fact that she hadn't asked what was on his mind. "Yes," he said, "it'll be best to leave her be for about three or four hours."

The mermaid looked at him suspiciously. "Chum," she said, "ye're a lousy liar."

"Listen," he said, "do you lose your teeth every night? I read that sharks lose their teeth and grow them back every morning."

"Aye," she replied, "I do. I have t' wear a retainer every night lest they grow in crooked."

"Okay. So, I assume you're self-conscious about it?"

"Aye... oh," Mala said, understanding. "She's moltin', ain't she."

"Yeah. I didn't want to say anything. I imagine that, not only would it be painful, but she's likely self-conscious about it, as well. From what I've read, she should be done by this afternoon."

"Ye all right?" Mala asked. "Ye look hurt."

"A little," he responded, desperately trying to keep the topic on the matter at hand, "but I can imagine what she's going through."

"I ain't seen Pipes nowhere, neither," Mala said as they rode the elevator to the first floor. "Wonder if she's sheddin'."

"I'll check on her," he said with a nod, "then I'll meet you in the cellar."

On his way to Piper's room, he got a bottle of lotion and a steamed towel, then knocked on her door. "Are you all right, Piper?" Satsuke asked.

"Don't come in, Coach," came the response beyond the door.

"I brought a hot towel and some moisturizer, if you want it."

Soon the door opened partway revealing a topless lamia hiding her bottom half and her arms. Remnants of shed snake skin littered the floor behind her. "You did that for me?" Piper asked, her golden eyes wide. "You're so sweet."

He handed the towel and the lotion to Piper through the crack in the doorway, which he felt being taken from him. "Let me know if you need anything else," he said warmly.

"I'll be fine, Coach," the echidna said, smiling widely. "I should be done in a couple hours. When I'm done, I'd like to talk to you alone."

"We'll have plenty of time," he said, still smiling. "I thought I'd take you around so you can see some of our history. You told me you're from California, and you've been cooped up ever since you've been to our country, so I thought you'd like to see some of the sights.

"Besides," he continued, putting his fingers through his hair and smiling awkwardly, "we've not had the chance to get to know each other."

"You're the best, Coach," she said. "I'm really excited."

"Good. I'm going downstairs, so take your time. No need to rush."

The door closed, then the policeman went to the closet to get the rain gear to give to Guu. _We haven't gotten the test results yet_ , he thought, _but she's not going to learn how to behave cooped up like that._ He then went down to the cellar and was met by Mala. "Are ye seriously goin' t' be lettin' 'er out?" she asked.

"Not without laying down some ground rules," Satsuke replied with a wink.

"I'll trust yer judgment, but I still dinna think it'd be a good idea."

"Stay by the controls in case she attacks me," he said when he got to the door.

"Aye, Chum," the mermaid said as she wheeled herself to the panel. "Oy, Gooey," she said through the microphone, "I be lettin' Chum in. Ye attack 'im an' ye'll be gettin' th' hose."

"Your grammar sucks, Captain Cartilage!" Guu yelled.

The mermaid chuckled and looked at Satsuke. "Ain't ne'er 'eard that 'un before," she said as she opened the door, letting Nakamura into the chamber.

Guu walked up to the policeman and looked up at him. He was surprised that, instead of angry and hateful, she looked more annoyed than anything. "Here you go, Guu," he said, handing her the raincoat, boots, and gloves. "They'll be too big, but they should do until we can get something else."

"Tell the pirate wannabe to fill the bath," she said.

He waved at the mermaid, who turned on the mic. "Mako," he called, "turn the water on in her bath. Fill it as much as you can."

Mala nodded and did as she was instructed. Immediately, she sent a tendril into the water and drained it, in so doing, increased in size until she assumed the form of the shape of a fully grown, extremely well-endowed, and translucent young woman. _Seriously?_ he thought. _Am I in some fan-fiction of a dirty anime or something?_

"Is this better, Officer Pervert?" Guu asked snidely.

"Just put these on, okay?" Satsuke said as he wiped the blood from his nose. "Now, you are not to attack anyone in the house. You are not to antagonize anyone in the house. You will be polite to guests. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yeah, fine," she replied. "Do I get to throw the snake into the wall?"

"No," he replied, "there's been enough of that already."

After the slime got dressed, Nakamura signaled the mermaid to left them out, then he led her up the stairs, not knowing that she gave an obscene gesture to Mala before the mermaid boarded the elevator. "Ye're lucky I trust me Chum's judgment, ye little pain in th' tail fins," she muttered under her breath as the door closed.

After a brief tour of the house, Satsuke and Mala brought Guu to the kitchen for breakfast. "What would you like, Guu?" asked the policeman.

"It doesn't matter," the slime replied.

"Oh, ye're gonna be like that?" Mala sneered.

"No, you stupid fish," Guu retorted, "I can digest literally anything, so it doesn't matter."

"I'll make some sashimi for you, too," Satsuke said with a smile. "I hope you'll like it."

"That doesn't matter, either. I have no taste buds."

"Fair enough," the young man replied with a shrug.

Breakfast was surprisingly uneventful, if awkwardly silent. Mala spent the entire meal glaring at Guu hatefully, making Satsuke doubt his judgment in letting the slime out of her chamber. He didn't like seeing the mermaid like this, making him wish that there may be some way to help smooth the transition. He made a point to call Kimohito for advice on how to care for a slime. A mild burning sensation on the back of his head interrupted his contemplation. "I'm not a damned puppy, dickweed," Guu said with a sneer.

"I just want to make your time here as comfortable as possible," Satsuke replied warmly.

"Yar, a poison attitude t' go with a poison body," the mermaid muttered.

The policeman whirled around and faced her. "Mako, you're a genius!" Satsuke cried out, hugging her.

"I 'ave me moments, Chum," the mermaid replied with a wink.

A shriek shattered the moment. "Ewwww" Piper whined, "what is _that_ doing out of its pen?"

"I'm not a pig, cloaca breath!" Guu yelled.

The echidna's face turned a deep red and contorted in rage. Satsuke touched the echidna's shoulders to try and calm her down. Instead, he felt her tail whip him between the legs, making him double over in pain. "Oh no, Coach, I'm so sorry!" Piper cried, helping him to a chair.

"Why do ye call 'im 'Coach,' anyway?" Mala asked as she went to get a bag of ice.

"He looks like one!" Piper replied perkily. "Where's Tara?"

"Aye, that'd be a good question," the mermaid responded with a concerned expression. "I'd 'ave thought she'd be done by now."

Satsuke gingerly got up and slowly walked to the door, clutching the bag of ice to his groin. "I'll check on her," he said. "Guu, please stop antagonizing the others."

"And what if I don't, Pig?"

"Or ye get th' hose!" Mala growled. "Ye be respectin' Chum's kindness, ye pain in th' fins!"

"Pfft," Guu sneered, "that's rich coming from someone who compares the human to fish guts."

"Please stop, both of you," the policeman groaned. "Piper, please keep an eye on them, and try not to antagonize Guu. I'll be back after I check on Tara."

Satsuke left and headed towards the elevator, still clutching the icepack to his groin. As he got closer to the attic, he heard crying. Slowly, he climbed up the stairs and opened the hatch. "Tara," he said softly, "are you hurt?"

"Please, Satsuke," the arachne wept, "I don't want you to see me like this."

He looked and saw Tara twitching on her back, partially molted. "I've never not been able to molt properly," she said.

"Let me help you," Satsuke said as he walked over to her. "I've watched a few videos since we met, so I have an idea about the process. I'll still need you to guide me, though. I don't want to hurt you."

"Fine," Tara said with a sigh. "Just be gentle with me."

The policeman started at her lower abdomen, and slowly peeled back her old exoskeleton, causing her to groan. He found the hair on her new chitin surprisingly smooth, thus making it easier to peel the old one off. He was also surprised that how exciting he found it. _Maybe I_ am _perverted_ , he thought to himself. _Then again, she_ is _a girl_. Soon, it was completely off, so he went to her pedipalps. He realized that she was completely nude, her cheeks a deep crimson. This caused blood to trickle down his nose. When he started molting her pedipalps, he heard her breathing heavily, and saw her biting her lower lip. "Are you okay? Am I hurting you?"

"I'm fine," she replied softly. "You're doing well. Now get to my legs. Please be careful. Think of it like peeling off a latex glove."

Nakamura nodded and then gently pulled the exoskeleton off one leg at a time, making her moans grow higher in pitch. "Keep going," she whispered. "It's almost there."

Once he got each of the legs peeled enough to get the chitin off her underside, he then started pulling each of the leg tips at once. "Oh God, I'm almost there," she moaned.

 _Is she enjoying this?_ he asked himself as he pulled the last of it off. This seemed to be confirmed as she let out one a final cry and saw her six eyes glaze over, a wide smile on her face. He then felt her legs clasp him tightly, her arms around his shoulders. "Mmm, you were wonderful, Fuzz," she whispered. "Just let me hold you like this for a while."

Satsuke's body went limp, somewhat surprised at what had just happened. "Umm, Tara," he said, "what will we do with your old exoskeleton?"

"Is this your idea of pillow talk?" Tara asked as she stroked his face. "I usually bury it, but I'm still not sure I want to pull it in the back yard here."

He then remembered what Guu had told him and said, "Maybe we can put it in Guu's chamber."

"What is she gonna do, eat it?" she asked with disgust in her voice.

"I think so," he replied.

"That's kinda nasty," Tara said, her face scrunched up.

"True, but it's the best way I can think of for you to dispose of your exoskeleton discreetly. I also have an idea of how to make her less antagonistic."

"So do I," Tara grumbled. "Turn her into a puddle."

"That's not too far off, believe it or not," he responded. "Mako pointed out that her acidic personality may come from the toxins in her body. If we can purify her, it may make her easier to deal with."

"Makes sense," the arachne said as she stood up, crumpling her shed exoskeleton, and putting it in a sack. "What doesn't make sense is why you're being so nice to something that clearly wants to kill you."

Satsuke smiled at her as he sat up. "Why not?" he said. "It worked before."

Tara smiled back. "Touché," she responded as she got dressed. "Okay, I'll help you, but if she does anything at all to hurt you, I will splatter her all over the wall and hose her down. So, how do we go about this?"

"We'll need to purge her of as much of her toxins as possible without killing her, preferably in her chamber, then rehydrate her with clean water. Bring your exoskeleton down there and fill up her tub."

"Understood," Tara agreed. "See you down there."

The pair separated, with Tara going down in the elevator and Satsuke going down the stairs. When he got into the living room, he saw that it had been mostly been eaten away as if by acid. He then saw that Guu was in the biohazard container, which was being held by a very irritated Piper, the mermaid sitting in her chair next to her. "Coach," Piper hissed, "Never leave us alone with that thing ever again."

"If my plan works," he said, "that may not be a concern."

The trio rushed to the elevator and went down in the basement to be met by Tara. "The tub's filled, and from the looks of it, Sludge is ready," she said.

Piper looked in the window and saw the arachne's exoskeleton next to the tub. "Eww, gross," she said with a grimace.

"That's rich coming from someone who needs to peel her skin off," Tara grumbled, then turned to the policeman. "Should we have her bring that down here, as well?"

"That's up to her," Satsuke replied.

"Seriously?" the echidna asked.

"Yar, why not?" Mala responded. "She's the one who said she'd eat anything."

The lamia shrugged, then slithered up the stairs. "I'll bring her into the chamber. After all, I'd be the one she'd least likely attack. Still, be ready with the sprinklers, just in case."

Tara nodded and scuttled over to the controls while Satsuke carried the container into the chamber. "Now, Guu," he said as he opened it, "I'm going to let you out so you can rehydrate yourself, okay?"

He could've sworn that the slime's eyes almost looked pleading. When the lid was opened, she rushed to the tub and greedily sucked up the water, restoring herself to full-sized. Sure enough, Guu's body was a lot more translucent and took on a purple hue with tinges of dark gray. She then turned and smiled warmly at Satsuke. "You're kind," she said. "Thank you. Why did you do that?"

"I told you," he replied, smiling back, "I want to help you, and deep down, so do the others." He then turned to the arachne. "Get her clothes so we can bring her upstairs. Mako, please call Smith and have her come over."

"Aye aye, Chum!" the mermaid said with a salute.

It was then that Piper came down with her bag of shed skin. "Are you okay, Coach?"

"Girls," Guu said with her head down, "I want to apologize for earlier. I can get... 'mean' when so many toxins are in me."

Mala arched an eyebrow, and the echidna's jaw dropped unnaturally low. "Yer crazy plan actually worked," the mermaid remarked. "Aye, 'tis water under th' hull. Jus' stay outta the cleanin' products, eh?"

"Sure," the slime sneered, "when you lay off the hooch!" She then clutched her head and said, "Sorry, ma'am. I still have a lot of poison in me."

"Aye," the mermaid replied, "so ye're a mean drunk. I'll treat ye as such, then."

"An apt description, Miss Mako," Guu said with a nod.

Tara watched the whole exchange with a surprised expression, then handed the slime her clothes. "Thank you, Tara," she said. "I hope we can become friends, you eight-legged freak... oh god dammit!"

"I'll let that slide, Sludge, since I know it's the toxic waste in your system," the arachne growled, trying to control her temper.

Satsuke put a hand on the arachne's arm. "Thank you, Tara," he said.

"Girls," Guu said. "Can you come here for a minute? I need to read your minds so I can better understand you."

Satsuke nodded to Piper and Mako, and the two of them went inside the chamber. "Tara," the slime said, "the waste in my system may still burn. Please let me know if I hurt you."

"Fine," the arachne grumbled as she bowed her head. "I'm ready when you are."

The slime extended a small tendril and placed it on Tara's forehead, then released it soon after. "The humans have hurt you, too," she said softly, "yet you love this pig." She then turned to Satsuke. "Sorry, sir."

"No worries," he said.

"Mako?" Guu said, nodding to the mermaid. A few moments later, she said, "You're even more of a pervert than he is! You have a loving heart, but damn!"

Mako merely shrugged. "Aye, she's right 'bout that," she said with a wry grin towards Satsuke, slapping his rear and making him yelp in surprise.

"Pipes?" the slime said to Piper. "Sorry, still have a little of Fish Face in my head."

The echidna giggled then approached Guu. Soon, after releasing her tendril, she said, "You're smarter than you let on." She then turned to Satsuke and said, "Mako needs to call that condescending bitch from The Organization. Maybe she can get around to prying her lazy ass out of bed so she can get here before next Thursday."

"Where did that come from?" Piper asked.

"That," Satsuke said with a chuckle, "would be me."

Guu noticed the two sacks on the floor for the first time, extended a feeler towards them, and asked, "Is that for me to digest?" When Satsuke nodded, she said, "Thank you. I became low on nutrients when I was diluted. The exoskeleton may have trace amounts of venom, but it shouldn't affect me much, since the arachne's venom is very mild."

She looked at the group and continued, "You all may want to leave. You may find my eating... unpleasant to watch."

The policeman and the mermaid entered the elevator while the others rushed up the stairs. The lift doors closed just before Guu started to engulf the bags, much to their relief. The two were met by Tara and Piper, who informed them that Smith was heading over right away. "So that means in th' next two hours, eh Chum?" Mako said, nudging his ribs.

"Actually," an all-too-familiar voice said, "I'm right here." With that, Smith walked up to them with that ever-present smirk on her face. If she was offended, she wasn't showing it. "So, it looks like your living room has seen better days," she said, sipping her coffee.

"Yes," the slime said as she climbed the stairs. "That would be my fault."

Smith spit out her coffee when she saw the slime. She quickly composed herself and said, "Softie-kun, it seems I've underestimated you. Not only is she less vicious, she's very polite!"

Guu bowed and said, "It's a pleasure to meet you, ye annoyin' bint," earning a snicker from the mermaid.

"I see you've let her read your thoughts," Smith said, still smiling. Addressing the slime, she said, "Rest assured, I've heard worse.

"Now, Softie-kun," she said to Nakamura before Guu could interject, "I've talked with my team and my superiors about hiring you on. Zombina and Tio both highly recommended you, as well as Mero. The higher-ups left it to my judgment to see whether you're a good fit for MON or not."

Satsuke arched an eyebrow. "And...?"

"I was going to mull it over for a few weeks," the agent said, "but after seeing that you've calmed an enraged slime directly affected by toxic waste, you've shown amazing compassion, patience, and ingenuity."

The policeman chuckled awkwardly. "I don't deserve all the credit," he said. "I've gotten good ideas from the girls. I couldn't have done it without them."

Mako and Piper beamed at the praise, and even Tara wasn't unaffected. "You're too modest, Softie-kun," Smith responded with surprising warmth. "A good agent knows when to follow advice from others. So, effective today, you are now Head Negotiator for MON. We will also be counting on you for tactical advice per Zombina's recommendation. You will be responsible for trying to defuse potentially hostile situations with liminals to the best of your abilities.

"Rest assured," she continued when she saw Satsuke try to object, "we understand, in most cases, it will be beyond your abilities. Many simply will not listen to reason, much like that man that was harassing Mako."

"How did you-"

"He tried to press charges of police brutality against you, but he's not unknown to us in the Organization. He's been harassing many liminals and has even tried assaulting a few. I knew who he was talking about when he described you, and that he was harassing Mako. We, shall we say, 'settled out of court.'" Addressing the mermaid, she said with a wink, "I also told him that he was lucky Softie-kun got to him first, and that you probably just ate."

"Yar," Mala said with a grin, crossing her arms.

Smith turned serious and looked at Satsuke. "So, will you join us?"

"I'd have to call Chief Shimizu," he said.

"Let me handle that," she responded with a smile that bordered on charming.

"Then yes," he said, "I would be honored."

"Good," she said. "Zombina will be by with your new badge and the paperwork you'll need to fill out." She then bowed respectfully and said, "Welcome aboard, _Agent_ Satsuke Nakamura."

Cheer erupted from the girls, except for Tara, who kept a stoic facade. "Nice job, Coach!" Piper said while hugging the newly-hired agent.

"I knew ye had it in ye, Chum!" the mermaid concurred, slapping Nakamura on the rear, earning another yelp.

"Whatever," Tara grumbled with a shrug. "Don't let it go to your head, Fuzz."

With that, Smith turned to leave, but not before smiling and saying, "Do your best!"

x

Satsuke woke up at around 1 am after having tossed and turned all night. He wasn't distressed as much as he was anxious, nervous, and even a little frightened. In many ways, this was his childhood dream come true. Still, the weight of his new responsibilities made it hard for him to relax. He turned and saw Tara sitting next to his bed with a concerned look in her six eyes. "Are you okay, Satsuke?" she asked.

"I'm scared, Tara," he replied. "I know I should be happy. After all, this is an amazing opportunity."

"You just don't think you can do it," she said, completing his thought.

When the young man nodded, she continued, "You know I'll be upfront and honest to you, since I despise liars. Believe me when I tell you, Satsuke Nakamura, that you'll be amazing at it. You've calmed down two creatures that wanted you dead, you survived an echidna's venom, and you defended the honor of the kind of mermaid that others often look down upon. All because you are strong, brave, kind, and you treat us all like we're normal."

"Well, you _are_ normal," he said, touching a claw. "Different, yes, but you're as normal as any of us are."

"And that's why you deserve this opportunity," Tara said, smiling warmly. "Congratulations, Fuzz. I'm really proud of you."

"It seems strange," Satsuke said with a smile, "you taking care of me for a change."

"Someone has to," the arachne responded with a wink. "After all, you take care of us. Now try and get some sleep. The corpse should be here soon with the paperwork that I think Smith is dumping on you.

"Will you be okay?" Tara concluded.

"I will be," the young man replied. "Thank you, Tara."

"Don't sweat it, Fuzz," the arachne responded warmly. "I'm watching you."

She then closed the door and headed toward the hallway when she heard a voice behind her. "When will you tell him?" it said.

"Piss off, Knucklehead," Tara snarled, "I'm not in the mood."

"Dammit, Tara," Piper retorted firmly with a rattle of her tail, "can the 'tough bitch' act. We all can tell you're in love with him. When are you planning on telling him?"

Tara whirled around, her face contorted with rage. "I said 'shut it,' Worm!"

"Or what?" the echidna said, standing her ground with her scaled arms crossed. "Gonna throw me into a wall? If it'll make you feel better, go for it. If you're thinking of killing me, know that I won't hesitate to bite your ass." Piper bared her fangs and hissed, rattling her tail even louder, as if to accentuate her point.

"Bloody 'ell, both o' ye cut th' shite," Mala yelled from the elevator. Turning to Tara, she said, "To th' attic, now! Cool yer head."

"Fine," the arachne growled. She then looked at the echidna and pointed at her. "You're dead, Worm."

"Try it, Bug," the echidna hissed.

"ENOUGH!" Satsuke screamed. "Both of you... bed, now! I don't want to hear a peep from either one of you until morning."

Piper deflated and hung her head low, then quietly slithered into her room, and closed the door. Even Tara, in her enraged state, backed away slowly. "Sorry, Fuzz," she said softly as she climbed into the attic, closing the hatch behind her.

The agent leaned against the wall, his head in his hands. "Chum?" the mermaid whispered, wheeling herself close to him. "Anythin' ye wish t' talk about?"

"I can't deal with this, Mala," he replied softly. "I can't take the three of you fighting over me."

"I ain't fightin' nobody," the mermaid responded with a grin revealing two missing teeth. "I already told ye, ye an' I are friends regardless." With that, she spat out three more teeth. "Oh, bloody 'ell," she grumbled. "Time t' put me retainer in." Mala put a webbed hand on Satsuke's arm. "Take yer time, Chum. Take Pipes out on th' town, take Legs t' see another one o' them crossdressin' bands she likes."

She spat out another tooth. "Make th' choice that's right fer ye," she said.

"Go put your retainer in, Mala," Satsuke said with a smile. "Can't have your teeth come in crooked." He took a webbed hand in his. "Thank you."

"Git some sleep, ye landlubber," the mermaid said on her way to the elevator. "I'll tell Gooey ye say 'hello.'"

An hour after both doors closed saw the arachne scuttle down her ladder and gently knocked on the echidna's door. "Hey, Piper," she said through the door, "I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I was out of line." She sat down, her lower frame touching the floor. "I'm scared," she continued. "I'm not scared of him breaking my heart. Like Fish Face, I will always care for him and be his friend, regardless of whom he chooses.

"I'm scared of hurting him," she whispered. "My kind have a bad temper even in the best of times. You saw it yourself. I know you were trying to help, and I'm sorry I threatened you like that. I'm scared that I will lose control with him." Getting only silence in reply, Tara sighed and got up. "I guess that's it," she said. "I'll see you in the morning."

The moment she started for the attic, Tara heard a small voice behind her. "Don't you realize that I'm scared of the same thing?" Piper said.

The arachne turned around, and Piper touched one of her legs. "Echidnae like me also have a nasty temper," the echidna continued, "and I'm worried that one of my love nibbles might kill him."

"Are you worried about eating him after making love to him?" Tara asked softly. "I might be able to control myself most of the time, but the instinct in me is still pretty strong, just like it is with all arachnae."

"I don't think it's as strong as you think it is," the echidna responded, smiling warmly. "When he yelled at us, I was worried for a split second that you'd turn on him, but you didn't. Hell, you backed away quicker than I did. You were ready to tear me apart, but when he blew up, you calmed down immediately."

"You may be right," Tara said with a smile, "and if your temper's as bad as you say it is, you would've bit him before I would've even had a chance to get to him.

"Anyways, I'm sorry about earlier."

"Me too," Piper replied.

"The sludge is right, you know," the arachne said before climbing the ladder. "You're smarter than you let on."

"I've learned a lot since I got here," the echidna responded with a grin, "and you're one of the sweetest people I've ever met."

"Yeah, yeah," Tara retorted with a smile. "Don't spread it around. I've got a reputation to uphold."

"Fine with me, Tara," Piper said, returning the grin. "As long as you don't go around saying how smart I am."

"Whatever, Knucklehead," the arachne said with a wink. "Good night."

x

Satsuke sat in his office chair struggling to stay awake. He was grateful that his housemates kept their arguments to a minimum. In truth, he was surprised at how quiet it was, as well as somewhat concerned. He didn't like how Tara and Piper kept their distance from him, and even Mala seemed to give him a wide berth. "Hey, wake up, Fresh Meat!" Zombina's voice snapped him from his sleep-deprived haze. "Can't have you falling asleep first day on the job!"

The young agent turned around and looked at the undead woman with bloodshot eyes. He saw a deeply worried look on her stitched face, and a stack of paperwork nearly a foot and a half high on a cart in front of her. "Hey, man," she said, "you okay?"

"Didn't get much sleep last night," Nakamura replied with a yawn. "Nothing to worry about."

Zombina cocked her head to the side with a skeptical expression. "Yeah, Jaws told me that there was some commotion last night, which you diffused like a champ," she said, patting him on the shoulder. "I told Agent Smartass you'd be a good fit. Any human that can cow an enraged large breed is better in MON rather than as a bike cop."

The young man chuckled. "I liked my old job, though," he said.

"Agent Smartass has that as one of your duties, believe it or not," Zombina responded with a wink. "However, instead of looking for human perps, you're on the lookout for misbehaving liminals. In fact, your first assignment is in this stack here."

"Oh?"

"Yep," the zombie said, crossing her arms and smiling. "Remember that wyvern who took you on an impromptu flight? Well, she struck again and broke some poor sap's leg. We're thinking she might go after you again since this last guy resembled you."

When she saw the look of concern on Satsuke's face, she waved a hand and said, "Don't worry about it. You'll have backup to make sure you don't get hurt."

"So, my first assignment is as bait."

"And then you'll be playing 'Good Cop/Bad Cop' with Agent Smartass," Zombina said with a hearty laugh. "Damn, I can't wait to see that!"

The new agent smiled. He hated the idea of being a worm on a hook, but the idea of playing a big part in reducing crime involving liminals appealed to him. He felt that doing this will help the more misunderstood ones become more involved with the community, and to properly deal with the ones who are intentionally making things worse. He even began entertaining the idea of helping improve the laws involving other species. "Anyway," the undead agent said, "Manako will be by to pick all that up by tomorrow. Take your time, get some rest. Most of that's just reading about your new responsibilities."

"Thank you, Zombina," Satsuke said. "Thank you for this opportunity."

"Don't thank me, Fresh Meat," Zombina said with a hearty laugh, "thank Agent Smartass. Well, see ya!"

With that, the zombie took her leave and shut the front door behind her, leaving Nakamura to mull over what she just said. After trying to read the papers and being unable to concentrate on them, he gave up and went to his room to take a nap. When he passed the kitchen, he saw Tara cooking lunch while Piper watched a movie with Guu. Mala was nowhere to be seen. He couldn't help but smile, knowing that things would be in good hands while he took a nap. Soon, he found himself in his room, then promptly collapsed on his bed and fell asleep with his clothes on. When he woke up and realized that it was night-time, he said, "What time is it?"

"It's 11:30, Coach," he heard Piper say softly. "We all knew you were tired, so we figured you could use a break from us."

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about," Satsuke said with a smile, "but thank you."

"I'm really sorry about what happened last night," the echidna said, her tone odd. "I hope there's some way I can make it up to you."

Satsuke saw that the movement of the lamia's body were slow and deliberate, but her tail was rattling violently. "There's no need, Piper," he responded warmly, putting a hand on hers. "We'll all talk about it tomorrow morning."

Piper started stroking his arm softly with a claw, then slithered into bed with him after getting undressed. Her tongue flicked out and licked his ear, causing him to tense up involuntarily. Satsuke was struck dumb, barely able to even think. _I need to stop this before it gets out of hand,_ he thought to himself. "Piper," he said as he struggled to get free, "this is all too sudden. Can we not do this now?"

Piper's face began to twitch. "Please, Coach," she whispered as she dug her claws into his back, "don't resist me."

The echidna drew back, unhinged her jaw, and hissed loudly before dropping limp, releasing her grip on him. When he wriggled out, he saw a big lump on her head, with Mala wielding a large club. "Ye all right, Chum?" she said.

"Yes, thank you," he said after catching his breath.

When he sat up, Satsuke saw that the mermaid's lips were quivering. "Are you all right?" he asked as he reached out to touch her shoulder. Suddenly, she clamped her teeth hard onto his arm. "Mala!" Satsuke screamed. "What's gotten into you?!"

He shook his arm in a vain attempt to get her to release him, only to have her dig her teeth in deeper, making him draw blood. _Oh no_ , he thought, _I need to snap her out of this somehow_. After slapping her face firmly to no effect, he then flicked her nose hard with his fingers, causing her to fall backwards out of her chair. After ripping the sleeve off his shirt as an impromptu bandage, he heard the mermaid softly say, "Run, Chum. 'Tis a full moon. Run fer yer life, me love."

He needed no further encouragement and bolted out of his room, nearly falling down the stairs as he ran to the door. He almost had the knob in his hand when he felt his wrists and ankles being restrained. Before he could process what happened, he felt himself get stuck spread-eagled to the ceiling with Tara crawling slowly up the wall. "Tara," he whimpered, "please don't do this."

He saw her face shudder violently and her eyes blink one by one as she stood over him on the ceiling. Her arms started to spasm, slapping herself in the face as if struggling against herself. "I'm... so sorry for all... of... this," she said, tears streaming down her face. "Please... know that… I... love you... Satsuke." Her face then contorted in fury. "You... made me... very... happy," she said haltingly before bellowing a primal cry.

Satsuke closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and waited for death when he felt himself falling. He opened his eyes and found himself covered in viscous liquid. "Guu," he cried, "not you, too."

"Shut the fuck up, Pig!" she yelled. "Run to my chamber now if you want to live! I'll hold off the psychos until you get there."

Without thinking, he bolted toward the cellar stairs only to slip and fall. "Oh, for fuck's sake," Guu snarled as she wrapped a tendril around his waist and hurled him into the wall.

 _Are we doing_ this _again?_ he silently asked himself as he peeled himself from the wall, raced towards the door, and slipped down the stairs. He stumbled into the chamber, and sat up against the corner. Soon, he saw the slime through the window filling up the tub with water until it overflowed. She then ran into the cell as the door closed. "Wash yourself off before the acid eats you away," she said gruffly. "By the way, you're out of cleaning chemicals."

He did as she said as quickly as he could before she absorbed the water, diluting herself somewhat. "Consider yourself lucky that the moon has no effect on slimes," she said evenly. "Now calm down before you use up the air in here. Unlike me, you actually breathe."

"There aren't even any drains in here?" he panted, realizing the answer after he said it.

Guu looked at him sternly, then her expression softened somewhat. "Given what you just went through, I'll forgive that moment of idiocy. You're safe now, Pig."

"Thank you, Guu," he said with a smile.

"Consider us even," she said. "You protected me from the psychos when I wanted to kill you, so I'm protecting you." She then looked at him evenly. "To be honest, after I toxified myself, I almost didn't save you. I would've been fine with letting you die."

"Then why did you rescue me?" Satsuke asked without judgment.

Guu smiled. "Because you're a good man," she replied. "I remembered that you're not like the other humans. Your death would've been a waste."

Suddenly, the pair were interrupted by a loud pounding on the chamber door, rattling the window and practically shaking the walls. "Oh shit," she growled. "I hope the doors can withstand the fists of an enraged arachne."

The young agent began to cry, then curled up in a fetal position and tried to tune out the screams of his deranged housemates. His mind flashed all his life events up until this point. He remembered being curled up in his mother's arms while he was a small child, and he remembered playing ball as a young boy with his grandfather while his grandmother made sweets. He remembered his father teaching him how to cook, and how the bullying he got at school made him want to join the police force. Only his family ever stood for him, so he decided that he would stand up for the helpless, and to be strong for them like he couldn't be for himself. He felt like, up until this moment, he finally became strong enough.

But not at this moment. Even back in school, he never felt as helpless as he did in this moment. The last thing he heard was the sound of glass shattering before passing out.


	6. Case Docket 5

Case Docket 5 - Daily Life Under Leather Wings

Satsuke woke suddenly to find himself on a cold, steel floor and completely drenched. "Oh, I'm sorry, sir," an unfamiliar voice said. "I didn't mean to scare you. I tried waking you, but it wouldn't work, so I splashed cold water on you."

He turned and saw a very pretty young woman in a MON-issue flak jacket. Her build was very slender, and her hair went just above her shoulders, her bangs obscuring her eyes. "What happened?" he asked as she helped him up. "Where are the others?"

"I shot them with heavy tranquilizers," the woman replied softly. "The house is equipped with a silent alarm when significant force strikes the chamber door. I was the closest, with Tio and Zombina close behind."

"Yeah, Fresh Meat!" Zombina said, as if on cue. "You're lucky Manako here is the best shot we have! Got 'em before they knew what hit 'em."

It was when the one called Manako inspected him that he realized that she had a single large eye in the center of her forehead. When she was aware that he had seen it, she quickly covered it with her bangs. "There's no need to be self-conscious, Manako," Satsuke said, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Thank you. You and Guu saved my life."

Manako's only response was to hide her face even more. "Oh, Mana-chan," the welcomed voice of Tionishia said as she entered the chamber, "there's no need to hide your face! Satsi-kun is an absolute sweetie!"

"Yeah," Zombina added with a laugh, "you're hardly the weirdest one he's seen by now!"

"Really," the new agent said after giving the undead woman an admonishing look, "I think you're just as normal as anyone else."

She then looked at him and saw him smiling. "Come on, Satsi-kun," the ogress said as she threw him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, "let's get you dried off."

The group were met in his private bathroom by Guu, who had diluted as much of the toxins out her body as she could. "Hiya Pig," she said with a smile, "are you okay?"

"Yes, thank you, Guu," he replied warmly.

Zombina arrived with dry clothes, then the group left the room as Satsuke dried off and changed his clothes. It was then that he noticed that his wounded arm was cleaned and dressed. He knew that the scars left behind would remind him of what had happened that night. The thought made his heart sink. "Hey, Fresh Meat," Zombina called from outside the door, "you fall in or something?"

"I'll be right out," he said, his voice full of despair.

The door then opened and the zombie entered the room, sitting down next to him. "What's wrong, man?" she asked with surprising sensitivity.

"I don't know if I can do this," he said. "I barely survived last night."

"Look at me, Nakamura," the undead woman said. When he did, she continued, "You had three of the most dangerous, out-of-control liminals after you. Very few could have survived that without help." She then put a hand on his shoulder. "That's what we're here for," she said softly. "MON looks after its own. We're a team."

"I suppose you're right," he sighed. "Are the girls okay?"

"Oh, they're fine," she said, "they're all having a nice little nap. Just so you know, they're not going to remember anything about last night. That's why I'm going to be sticking around to play historian for you."

"They won't be in trouble, will they?"

"You really are a softie," Zombina chuckled. "Relax, other than mandated sedatives for nights like that, they won't be punished." She then turned serious. "Gonna be able to sleep?"

"I don't think so," Satsuke said with a sigh. "I may as well get that paperwork filled out."

"It's already taken care of, sir," Manako said as she walked in. "You just need to sign off on a few things."

"Yep," the undead agent added. "Like I said, we look out for our own. Besides, Agent Smartass doesn't need to know. She pretty much dumped all her work on you, anyways. Hell, she was supposed to walk you through the hiring process. Well, you've pretty much earned your stripes after what just happened."

Satsuke smiled. "Thanks, girls," he said.

"Don't sweat it, Fresh Meat," Zombina responded with a clap on the back. "Yo, Tio! Fresh Meat doesn't think he's gonna be able to sleep."

"Awww," the ogress said as she came in and sat down. "Come lay your head on my lap."

He shrugged and did as instructed, promptly falling asleep afterwards. "Ogre cuddles," Zombina said with a serrated grin. "Works every time."

x

Satsuke woke up when he felt someone shaking his shoulder. "Fuzz?" he heard Tara say softly.

"Good morning, Tara," he said with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

The arachne shoved him hard, nearly pushing him off his bed. "How am I feeling?!" she yelled, tears streaming down her face. "You're the one I'm worried about! The corpse told me what happened last night. The girls and I nearly killed you, and _you're_ the worried one?!"

"It wasn't your fault, Tara," the agent replied. "To tell you the truth, I wasn't paying attention to the phases of the moon, so really I should bear the responsibility for what happened to me."

"Oh no you don't!" Tara screamed. "Don't you dare take the blame for this!" She then started crying uncontrollably. "I should have warned you about last night! Knucklehead would have envenomed you while raping you, Fish Face would have eaten you alive, and... and... oh my God, no...

"Do you know how many nightmares I've had about this?" Tara sobbed. "A few of us still eat our mates, you know. We all have the instinct, and I don't know if I could have held myself back."

Satsuke took a tissue and dried the tears off the arachne's face. "I think you would have," he said honestly. "You maintained enough control to talk to me." He then smiled. "You told me that you love me, and that I make you happy."

Tara chuckled weakly. "I do," she said. "I've fallen completely in love with you, Satsuke. I just wanted to be in my right mind when I said it."

"Mako said something to the same effect a few nights ago," Nakamura said.

"Mala," the arachne corrected gently. "She told me her real name. I know how she feels about you, and I have a feeling she may have told you, too.

"She was the first real friend I had when I came to Japan from Arizona, you know. The few times I'd see her, she'd tell me stories and I'd help her with her Japanese. Funny how my first friend here would be some weirdo from Ireland, and that I would fall in love with a cop."

"I _had_ noticed that your Japanese is excellent," he said, holding one of her claws.

"Thanks," she said with a sheepish smile. "I tried teaching myself by using books the natives would get for me, as well as pirated Lareine albums and live videos. The Exchange pretty much finished the job.

"That bitch of an agent isn't making it fair for any of us with this whole 'marriage' thing," she grumbled. "She mentioned some other guy that had been set up as a 'test case' for this experiment, and how it was 'less than successful.' I'm wondering if we're just being set up as guinea pigs."

"I think the Agency is pretty much making things up as they go along," Satsuke said. "I don't think they really know what they're doing." He then laughed. "I think Smith may be their most competent agent."

"Not anymore," Tara said with a wink of her eyes. "Thank you, Satsuke. Regardless of what happens between us, I will always be your friend. Anyways, I'll go and make breakfast. See you downstairs, Fuzz."

Before she left the room, Satsuke said, "Still watching me?"

The arachne smiled sweetly. "Always."

Within minutes of Tara leaving the room, the mermaid wheeled into the room, her black eyes wet with tears. "Oh, thank Jolly Roger ye're alive," she cried. "I didn't hurt ye, did I?"

It was then that she saw the bandage on his arm, and covered her mouth. "Oh no..." she said softly. "How'd ye get me loose?"

He reached out and flicked her arm with his fingers, and she understood. "Explains why me nose hurts," she chuckled. "Good thinkin', Chum. I see ye already talked t' Legs, an' that she's feelin' much better. Ye prob'ly should talk t' Pipes. She's beside 'erself."

"Where is she?"

"In 'er room," Mala replied. "She ain't come out since last night." She then wrapped her arms around Satsuke and kissed his cheek. "I'm glad all I gave ye was a nibble, me love," she whispered as she held him for a long time.

"Now go see Pipes, ye landlubber!" Mala said as she clapped his shoulder. "I'll go down an' talk t' Legs, Gooey, an' th' dead lady."

"I'll ride the lift with you," Satsuke responded as he stood up.

The agent pushed the mermaid's chair to the elevator, then parted company at the living room. "I swear I'll drink ye under th' table!" he heard the mermaid say as he walked toward the lamia's bedroom.

"How can you?" he heard Zombina say. "I'm dead!"

"That be a challenge if I e'er heard 'un!"

The agent laughed quietly as he walked to Piper's door and knocked on it. "Piper," he called. "Can I come in?"

The door opened slowly, revealing a disheveled echidna with bloodshot eyes and wet cheeks. "Are you sure you still want to talk to me?" she asked.

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't," Satsuke replied warmly.

"Okay," she said as she opened the door.

After he walked in, he sat down on Piper's bed and looked at her frankly. "What happened last night wasn't your fault," he said softly.

The echidna laughed mirthlessly. "Yeah, right," she said. "I know how we get on nights like that. I mean, usually, the guys are willing enough. Hell, most of them hear the phrase 'full moon orgy' and they get naked before we do!

"I knew you were different from the moment I saw you, Coach," Piper continued. "If guys aren't like 'eeww snakes,' they're like 'oooh snakes,' like we're some new flavor they hadn't tried yet. Most of us are cool with it, probably because that's usually all we get."

She then hugged him, in so doing, wrapped her tail around him. "You're special, Coach. I remember how you said that I'm just a regular girl to you. I swear, you have no idea how much that means to me."

"Piper..." he rasped, "I can't breathe."

"Shit," she said as she released him, "sorry Coach. I can't do anything right, can I?"

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Piper," he said, putting an arm around her shoulder. "Anyways, go have breakfast and get yourself ready. We're heading out after breakfast."

Satsuke left the lamia's bedroom and went back to his bathroom to take a much needed shower, taking care not to dampen the bandages on his arm. Despite the stinging sensation, the feeling of the hot water on his skin helped clear his head of any lingering memories from the night before. Once out of the shower and having dried himself off, he went to take off the bandage, realizing that he didn't actually see the tooth marks that Mala had left in his arm. When he looked down, he saw that the wounds had been stitched up, presumably by Zombina. _I need to remember to thank her for doing that,_ he thought to himself.

After redressing the wound, he went down to the kitchen to join the others. Guu appeared to be cleaning the floor around Zombina, who was seated across from a passed-out Mala. "I tried to tell her," she said smugly. "I'm glad I have all these bullet holes in me, or else I'd be bloated as Hell."

"The putrescent slut made a mess of the floor, though," Guu said, smiling sweetly. "Sorry, ma'am. It's the rum and formaldehyde talking."

"Yeah, sorry about that, Fresh Meat," the undead woman said with a laugh.

Guu's smile never left her face. As the group ate, they would occasionally hear Mala murmuring in her stupor, much to the arachne's amusement. "Never thought I'd see Fish Face passed out before."

"Hope she doesn't barf," Piper said, her nose scrunched up.

"Actually, she did," Guu said with a giggle. "I cleaned that up, too."

"Yeah," Tara said. "It's a good thing I have a strong stomach. Happens when you grow up on a steady diet of rats, scorpions, and snakes. Pickings are slim in Canyon de Chelly."

"Oh my god, tell me about it!" Piper said dramatically. "The Anzo-Borrego is awful. It's a good thing my taste buds suck and that I have no gag reflex because, damn." Piper then perked her head up. "Wait a sec, did you say you're from De Chelly?"

"Yeah, what of it?" the arachne growled.

"No way, girl!" the echidna responded, "I have family among the Hopi!"

"Huh," Tara said with a shrug. "I don't really like talking about home. I miss it, but I don't."

"Yeah, I know," Piper nodded. "I love the A-B, but I've met so many cool people here. I do miss some of the folks back home, though."

"Do you still have relatives back home, Tara?" Satsuke asked.

"Just my mother and my sister," she replied, her eyes downcast. "We didn't exactly part on good terms."

"Well," the young man said, putting a hand on her arm, "you have family here, now."

"Chum," Mala groaned, "can ye wheel me back t' me room so I can swim this off? Canna drive with th' floor movin' like it is."

"I'll come with ya, Fresh Meat," Zombina said. "I need to talk to you about something, anyways."

"Of course," Satsuke said.

The three left the room as Piper told Tara about her life back in America with the mermaid moaning the entire way. "What have we learned today, Mako?" the young man asked when they got to the elevator.

"Ne'er try an' drink a dead lady unner th' table. Ye try an' drink like a fish, ye end up belly-up."

The zombie snickered as they boarded the lift, and soon they were beside the mermaid's pool. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?" a worried Satsuke asked as he picked her up.

"Aye, Chum," Mala replied. "Th' salt air's doin' wonders fer me, already. I need t' at least float fer a bit in the water. Need t' fill me gills an' lay back fer a bit, then go fer a swim t' clear me 'ead.

"An' Chum," she continued, "I swear by me dad I'll ne'er drink that much e'er again. I feel like a 'alf-eaten seal."

"Get some rest, Mako," the agent said, laying her gently in the water. "I'll have Tara check on you until I get back."

"Ye're good t' me, Chum," the mermaid slurred as she sank into the water. "I'm gonna have a bit of a nap."

"So where were you thinking of taking Piper?" Zombina asked when Mala finished submerging.

"She's never seen Japan except for where she's stayed, and has been cooped up here since then, so I decided to take her to Kyoto," Satsuke replied as they walked upstairs. "Most open areas in Nijō Castle are large enough for her to move freely, plus I thought she'd like to see some Shinto shrines where snakes are considered good luck."

"Wow, Fresh Meat," the undead agent said with a smile. "You really are thoughtful." When they got to the front door, she said, "So I guess I'll leave you to get ready! You have our number if you run into any trouble."

"Of course," the young man said, "thank you."

With that, Zombina left as Satsuke headed back to the living room. Soon, he and Piper were aboard the train heading toward Kyoto. Like with the others, he refused to give the echidna any details regarding their outing together, so when they got off the train, the lamia's eyes went wide. "Oh my god, Coach!" Piper squealed as she threw her arms around the young agent. "This is _so_ cool!"

The pair took a tour of Nijō Castle, with Piper taking great care not to wreck anything with her tail. Together, they roamed the streets taking in the sights, all of which Piper thoroughly enjoyed. Occasionally, a curious child would come up to the echidna to ask if they could touch her scales and have a picture taken with her. After seeing the shrines and shopping for souvenirs, the pair sat at streetside café eating lunch. "This is _awesome_ , Coach," she said as she drank her bubble tea. "This is everything I imagined Japan to be."

"I'm glad you like it," Satsuke responded. "I'm sorry that so many people bothered you. Not many people here have ever seen anyone like you, at least not in person."

"No biggie," she said with a smile. "I'd rather have little children come up to me and want to touch my tail than to have them run away crying." Piper then turned serious. "I know I'm different, Coach, and I'm cool with it. I just figure that it's better for folks to see me as a curiosity rather than a monster, and I want folks to be comfortable with me.

"You see, most of the humans in the States don't know or even want to acknowledge we exist," she continued. "The ones who do find us usually haul ass. It was fairly easy for us to get mates during the 80s, especially the glam guys. You tell them there's girls and drugs and they're ready to party. Of course, we'd have to make sure they didn't remember it, for our own safety. There's only so much we can do, though. Thankfully, they usually think they were tripping balls if they do remember anything." The echidna giggled. "In fact, I think my auntie had a song written about her. Sure would explain all that snake imagery those bands use, right? It's sweet, really. Nice to know they still think about us."

Satsuke was shocked at how candidly she described luring unsuspecting men with drugs so they can mate with them. "Please don't judge us, Coach," Piper said when she saw his expression. "It's either that or outright abduct them like a lot of other lamiae do. In the old days, the natives who worshiped us looked at mating with us as a rite of passage. It was all like, 'You tapped that snake ass, you're now a man.'

"Then came the hippies during the 60's that'd go to the A-B and drop acid so they could 'commune with nature,'" the echidna continued. "They'd stumble upon where we lived, and rather than run screaming, they'd be like 'Wow, man...,' see how cute we are, and they'd start taking their clothes off. So, the elders figured that 'sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll' was the ticket. The 70's and 80's were really good for us because of it. We had a major population explosion, though, and the desert's getting crowded.

"That's why I'm in Japan," Piper concluded, her expression grave. "A lot of lamiae are in the exchange to bring back husbands. Not us. The other girls and I are scouting for a new home for some of us, and if I find a good guy for us, then that's just a bonus. We need a place where we can be open about what we are, because we're sick of hiding, and having to trick guys into fucking us. If this makes you hate me, go ahead. I won't hold it against you."

The young man was genuinely impressed with the echidna's candor and perspective. Unlike the others, Nakamura never took Piper to be a fool. Silly and clumsy, perhaps, but not stupid. However, this was a side of the peculiar lamia he never expected. "I don't hate you," he said with a smile, putting a hand on hers. "I thank you for being honest with me. I can't say that I approve, but I know that people do what they must to survive."

"Thanks for understanding, Coach," Piper responded, a tear drifting down her cheek. "You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that. I was scared that you'd judge me because, let's face facts, I come from a family of drug dealers, and you're a cop." The echidna squeezed his hand. "Thanks, Coach."

"You're welcome, Piper," Satsuke said. "To change the subject, I've noticed that you're not as self-conscious as other liminals I've encountered."

"What's the point?" Piper asked rhetorically. "It doesn't change who or what I am. I mean, yeah, I don't like how humans treat me and the others, and it bugs me when folks see the rattle and immediately think I'm going to try and kill them."

The agent rubbed his right hand, remembering his first encounter. When the echidna saw him do this, she said, "That bothers me even more. I don't like hurting people, especially when they're trying to be my friend."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Piper," he said, hiding his hand. "I didn't mean anything by that."

Piper smiled and put her hand on his. "Oh, not that, Coach," she said sweetly. "It bothers me that I almost killed you. You had to have noticed that I try to hold myself back around you. I don't want a repeat incident. I'm jealous of the others for knowing you longer, because I really like you, Coach. I _really_ like you." After a pause, twirling her hair with one of her fingers, she continued, "Never thought I'd fall for a cop. Funny, huh?"

Satsuke chuckled awkwardly. _Oh God, not her, too_ , he thought to himself. "Never thought I'd ever have so many girls who liked me," he said quietly.

"You sell yourself short, Coach," Piper retorted, her expression serious. "Sure, you're not a movie star, rock star, or an athlete, but so what? You stand up for us, and that says a lot.

"Besides, you've got a smile that can shed a girl's scales," she said with a wink.

The young man looked down and put his hand over his face to hide his blushing. Suddenly, he heard Piper shrieking, and when he looked up, she was gone and everyone around him was in a panic, pointing to the sky. He followed their fingers to see the wyvern had taken to the air with a wriggling echidna in her claws. _Oh, no_ , his mind cried. He sprang into action and held out his pistol, grateful that it had been loaded with tranquilizers the moment he had taken his new job. "Get down!" he shouted as he took out his badge.

Try as he might, he could not get a bead on the errant wyvern without hitting Piper. Suddenly, he saw them both stop and plummet to the ground over a wooded park. He knew that for them both to land on hard ground, it would end in bones being broken, so he went as fast as he could to at least pad their impact. He was surprised to see that Tio had joined him with her hands out. "I'll get the wyvern," she said, her tone surprisingly serious, "you catch Piper."

"Roger that," he replied

Satsuke positioned himself directly under the plummeting lamia. Soon, she landed on top of him, putting his face into the dirt and knocking him out. His moment of unconsciousness was short-lived when he felt someone slapping his face. "Coach? Coach?" he heard the echidna calling him.

He groaned and opened his eyes, seeing Piper's face almost within kissing distance. "Are you all right, Piper?" he groaned.

"Am _I_ all right?" she asked loudly. "What about you?"

Piper slithered off of him and helped him to his feet. "I'm fine," he replied with a smile. He then chuckled and said, "It's nothing I'm not used to. I was more concerned about you breaking something from as high as you fell."

"Oh please, Coach," the echidna chuckled, "have you forgotten how many walls I've been thrown into? That's sweet of you to be worried, though."

The ogress gently laid the wyvern down on the ground, and soon, the group was joined by Smith, Zombina, and Manako. Looking at Zombina, Satsuke asked, "So, this was why you asked me where I was going with Piper?"

"Damned right, Fresh Meat," Zombina replied with a toothy grin. "Although we didn't think she'd go after the snake, though."

The young man looked at Zombina with a hurt expression, feeling somewhat betrayed. "Come on, Fresh Meat," the undead woman responded incredulously. "What if she got you, and we weren't there?"

"I was armed with tranquilizers, too," he replied, "and I'm sure Piper would have caught me."

"And what if she hadn't?" Smith said coolly. "Where would you be, then?"

"Yeah, Satsi-kun!" Tio said, her cheerful demeanor never leaving her face. "We look out for each other!"

"So did you not think I could handle myself?"

"And if you _had_ shot her, where would you be then?!" Smith shouted. "You would've had numerous people witnessing you assaulting a liminal. Have you forgotten the law, _Agent_ Nakamura?!"

 _Shit_ , Nakamura seethed mentally. _She's right_. "Yeah, I guess I did," he replied sheepishly.

"Don't worry, Bait," Smith said as she removed her sunglasses, revealing eyes that were black as pitch, with glowing yellow irises. "We won't say anything."

Satsuke felt his heart leap to his throat when her body started changing into what appeared to be a nude young girl no older than 9 years of age with skin the color of onyx and absurdly long white hair that seemed to move of its own accord. "Fresh Meat, meet Doppel," Zombina said. "She's a doppelganger."

"We've met," Satsuke groaned, remembering the encounter at the warehouse.

"Like Tio said," Doppel said, "we look out for our own." She then scrutinized the young man. "So, you're the new bait? The girls tell me you've gotten pretty good at diffusing situations. I can't wait to see how you deal with this one."

 _Is_ that _all I am to MON?_ he thought to himself. _Am I really just bait?_

Soon, the wyvern groaned as she regained consciousness. "Come on, you," Zombina said. "Let's get you to someplace where we can have a little chat." With that the group left.

"Sorry our date was cut so short, Piper," Satsuke said, putting a hand on the echidna's shoulder.

"Don't be, Coach," she said, smiling warmly. "I had a great time! It was nice to hang out with you and be able to actually _talk_ to you without the others hogging your attention." Piper then blushed. "I just want you to like me."

"I do like you, Piper," the young man said. He then looked at his watch and said, "The train should be coming soon. We better get to the station so we're not late."

After a long train ride, the pair returned to the house to find the entire MON group, including Smith, waiting for them. "What are you doing here?" Satsuke asked Smith, more than a little annoyed.

"We need to interview the wyvern, of course," Smith replied as if the answer was obvious.

"But why here?" he repeated.

"Since Guu has turned herself around, we've temporarily converted her chamber into an interrogation room," she said. "Shall we?"

"I just wish you would've warned me ahead of time," he muttered under his breath.

"I'll come with you guys," Piper said, gritting her teeth. "I've got a bone to pick with her."

"Yar," Mala added, baring her razor-sharp teeth menacingly, "no one hurts me Chum and gets away with it."

Tara smiled and licked her claws. "I almost _hope_ she gets out of line," she snarled.

It didn't take long for the group to be in the basement in front of the chamber. Through the window, they could see the wyvern restrained in her chair, looking straight ahead menacingly. "Don't worry," Smith said, "we had installed a two-way mirror, so she can't see us."

"I can see you all talking about me, you know," the wyvern said with a distinct English accent.

"Well isn't that _cute_ ," Tara commented with a sneer.

"I don't get it," Manako said, looking concerned, "I tested it myself."

"So what do ye want," Mala growled through the microphone, "a 'bein' able t' see things' award?"

"Let me out of here!" the prisoner shouted, struggling in her chair. "I have the blood of kings in me!"

"Oh yeah?" Tara yelled through the mic. "Who's the one tied in the chair and locked in a steel room?"

Smith smiled. She was glad she allowed the girls to witness the interrogation, for she knew that they would inevitably start taunting her. _This is just too perfect,_ she thought as she entered the chamber and sat across from the wyvern. "So, I hear that you enjoy picking up innocent people and dropping them," she purred.

"I did not break any laws," the wyvern countered. "Not that your laws apply to me. You can kick me out, and then I will just come right back in."

"Oh really," Smith said, the smile never leaving her face. "Didn't break any laws? Try attempted murder of a police officer and assault. You also don't know the laws have been changing every day." The agent got up close. "You can be executed for even _trying_ to kill a police officer. We also have witnesses who've seen you pick up several people and drop them from up in the air. One poor bastard even got a broken leg because of you. Still, even if you didn't intend on killing that cop, we can put you away for life... and guess what? In prison, no one gives a damn what kind of blood is in your veins."

"The laws have not changed, ape-kin," the wyvern sneered. "I know my rights."

"Rights?" Smith asked sarcastically. She then pounded on the desk. "You're not even human!" the agent shouted. "What makes you think you have rights?! Forget this. I'm going to go fill out your paperwork. You're gonna fry, freak!"

Smith left the room to see everyone staring slack-jawed at her. "How was my little show?" she asked perkily.

"Relax, kiddies," Zombina said with a throaty laugh. "It's a little game called 'Bad Cop/Good Cop'."

"Ye dinna 'ave t' be so convincin', ye know," the mermaid said.

"So, I take it Fuzz is the 'Good Cop?'" Tara said, unusually subdued.

"Precisely!" Smith answered cheerfully. "Softie-kun, it's your turn."

Satsuke took a deep breath and waited for the chamber door to open, then stepped inside. He understood what Smith was doing, for it was common police procedure. Still, her words upset him deeply, which he suspected was intentional in order to elicit sympathy out of the young man. _If that's the case_ , he thought, _it worked_.

He looked over the prisoner. She was wearing very shabby yellow overalls which barely covered the deep red scales that covered her body. Despite this, he noticed that her pink hair was well-styled and accentuated her two curved horns. Her golden eyes looked at him expectantly, a sneer curled her lips. "What do _you_ want?" she growled.

Satsuke ignored her as he sat down. He then smiled and said, "I am Agent Satsuke Nakamura. It is a pleasure to finally get to talk to you. What's your name?"

"No business of yours," the wyvern shouted.

"I want to help you, Miss," the young man said, looking serious. "I'm working hard for fair treatment of liminals, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you.

"My colleague," he added with a wry grin, "she's a real pain in my ass, and I know it would really piss her off if I was able to let you off. The amount of paperwork she'd have to fill out to grant your release will keep her busy for days." With a chuckle, he continued, "Wouldn't you like to know that she'd be suffering for speaking to you like she did?

"After all," he said, "you have the blood of kings flowing in you. But for me to help you, I need your name."

"I am Vera," the wyvern said haughtily.

"I am glad to meet you, Vera," he said sincerely.

Outside the chamber, Zombina muttered, "He's good." Even Smith was more than a little impressed, as well as quite amused.

"Now Vera," Satsuke continued, "I have no hard feelings for what you did to me. All I want to know is why you did it. Why have you been picking up innocent people and taking them into the air?"

"What is it to you?" Vera asked, her snobbish expression never leaving her face.

"I'm trying to help you," he repeated. "I can help drop your sentence to mere deportment, maybe even community service, and I can see to it that you're treated well. All I need is for you to cooperate with me. I need you to help me help you."

The wyvern sighed. "In days long past," she said, "wyverns were among the finest hunters there ever were. Our eyes can see the glimmer of a koi's scales from high in the air.

"Believe me when I tell you, human," she continued, "I meant no harm to any of you. I would have put you down safely."

"Then why have you dropped us?"

"Because I was told to," the wyvern said plainly. "I remember your exact words: 'Let me go this instant.' We are a very proud people, but we are also honorable, and we strive to grant the wishes of our subjects."

"Interesting," Satsuke said. "Vera, I know nothing of your culture, but we are in Japan. Here, you are no different from anyone else."

"That is not what your colleague said!" Vera shouted. "I know you think I am a freak! Do not lie to me, ape!"

"I don't think you're a freak," he said, looking her in the eye with a smile. "In fact, that lamia you grabbed is a dear friend of mine, and I truly want to be your friend, as well."

The wyvern looked at Satsuke intently. "You are not lying to me, are you?" Vera asked. "There is but one thing I ask, and that is for people to speak to me plainly. No pretensions, no lies."

"No lies, Vera," the agent said. "Let me help you. I want you to be happy here, but I'll need your help in order to do so."

"You can start by freeing my wings," she said through gritted teeth. "It hurts."

"Of course!" Satsuke said. He got up and cut the plastic tie that bound the wyvern's arms to her body. "That should do it."

Vera looked at the young agent intently, and then smiled. "You are different, human," the wyvern said. "I know the law of this land demands that I have a guardian... a Keeper. If, at all possible, I would like my Keeper to be you. You have treated me in a manner fair and just, and I am in your debt, Agent Satsuke Nakamura."

The young man was at a loss for words. At that point, the chamber door opened and Smith walked in, along with Satsuke's homestays. "Excellent work, Softie-kun," she said. "I have to admit that you've surpassed my expectations." When she saw Vera's angry expression, she added, "Rest assured, Vera, that Softie-kun has been quite honest with you. In fact, I have the authority to have him be your 'Keeper,' as you put it. I just need to have Softie-kun fill out the necessary paperwork, including the forms granting your release.

"Do your best!" Smith said with that cheerfully smug smile on her face. With that, she and the rest of MON left, but not before Zombina could look at him and shrug.

Vera's jaw hung slack. "Did she just-"

"Aye, Vera," Mala said. "She does that a lot."

"Fuzz wasn't exaggerating when he described her as a real pain in the ass," Tara added.

"It's no small wonder how the lazy bitch even got her position," a darkened Guu said. "I'm guessing that she gave a lot of head."

"That's enough, Guu," the young man admonished.

"Sorry, Coach," spoke Piper. "She got into the laundry detergent again."

It was then that Satsuke took the time to make the introductions. "This place is starting to get crowded," the arachne grumbled. "Looks like I'm going to have to teach another one her place."

The wyvern looked just as displeased as Tara. "You did not say there would be others, Keeper," she snarled.

"God, what's with the outfit?" the echidna asked.

Vera spread her impressive wings. "My choice in wardrobe is rather limited," came the response. "What sort of accommodations does this house have, Keeper?"

"I just found out that Smith had a sauna added, Coach!" Piper said excitedly. "Coach can even have a sun lamp installed in your room so you can warm up in the morning."

"Ye oughta see me pool!" the mermaid responded. "It's got salt water an' everythin'!"

"And what of the arachne?"

"Have you seen how big the hallways are?" Tara asked gruffly, getting close enough for Vera to understand how much bigger she was than her.

"Enough, girls," Satsuke interjected. "I'm sure Vera is hungry, so I'll make us some dinner. Piper, would you bring the bags to the kitchen?"

"You got it, Coach!" Piper responded with a salute.

"Fuzz," Tara growled, "you and I need to have a little chat."

"Okay," he replied. To the others, he said, "We'll meet you upstairs."

When the pair were alone, the arachne's expression softened. "I don't like her," she said plainly. "I can't stand people who act like they're better than everyone else. Hell, I'd rather deal with Knucklehead than someone like that."

"Give her a chance, Tara," Satsuke responded with a reassuring smile. "I think she's as genuinely arrogant as you are hateful."

"I don't know, Fuzz. I know someone like her. She's arrogant, manipulative, and she gets off on playing mind games on others. I've had to get violent with her just to get her to cut the shit. Worst of all, she's another arachne, so it's almost like we _need_ to band together. We're often the ones who get the most hate from the humans." Tara then put a claw on Satsuke's shoulder and smiled sweetly. "Present company excluded of course. I'm thinking that her host is either worse than she is, or the most patient guy in Tokyo."

"Come, Tara," Satsuke said, putting a hand on her claw. "Let's make dinner and help Vera become more comfortable."

"You're forgetting who you're talking to," the arachne retorted with a grin.

"At least go easy on her."

"I promise that I won't treat her any worse than Knucklehead."

"I guess that must do," the young man sighed.

Soon, the pair were at the stove cooking a meal. Tara showed Satsuke how to make chicken and beef fajitas, much to Piper's delight. "It's an old family recipe," the arachne said proudly. "Granted, the original recipe calls for iguanas, monitor lizards, or scorpions, but this will do."

"Mmmm," Piper said, licking her lips, "I haven't had monitor lizard in a long time."

"How peculiar you Colonials are," Vera commented haughtily. "Oh, but what I would not give for a nice Welsh cawl with lamb."

"Sorry our tastes aren't as refined as yours, Reptile," Tara snarled. "Where Knucklehead and I come from, we take what we can get."

"Don't get yer webs in a twist, Legs," the mermaid laughed. "Cawl is just a kinda stew. Ne'er had it, meself." She then looked to the wyvern and continued, "Canna boil nuthin' underwater, can ye?"

"Whatever, Fish Face," came the growled reply. The arachne slammed the plate on the table in front of the dragonewt. "In this house, you eat what you're given or you starve, got it?"

"Damn, girl," Piper said to Vera when she received her plate, "you must've really pissed her off."

"Ye dinna insult th' chef, Vera," she said threateningly, revealing her sharp teeth. "'Specially when th' chef is over seven foot tall an' is dyin' t' rip ye apart, as well as she bein' a friend o' mine."

Guu giggled. "Didn't think I'd get a show along with dinner! When do we place bets on who throws the first punch?"

"If I had known I would be in a house with such uncivilized ruffians, I would not have asked to be placed here," Vera said. "Keeper, how can you live with these cretins?"

A sudden, palpable silence engulfed the room, giving the young agent the urge to hide in a corner. "By me reckonin'," Mala said with a mirthless smile, "It's you who're bein' rude, an' we're a group ye dinna want t' be rude to." She pointed to Piper. "She got a poison that can kill an ogre in its tracks 'fore ye can blink." Pointing to Guu, she continued, "Gooey 'ere is made outta toxic waste. Melt ye t' th' bone, she can. Legs? She's the biggest, strongest, an' meanest one 'ere. She'll throw ye into a wall in a 'eartbeat, an' that's if she likes ye."

"And believe me," Piper said, her tone grim, "she will."

The mermaid then got up close to the wyvern, put her sword to Vera's throat and grabbed her hair, then whispered in her ear, "If me Chum dinna speak up fer ye, I'd 'ave 'ad a frenzy on ye fer hurtin' 'im. An' guess what? I'm prob'ly th' closest ye have fer a friend 'ere right now. Tread lightly, lass, or ye'll see why I'm called 'Mako th' Merciless'."

It occurred to Satsuke that he had forgotten just how dangerous his homestays were. He saw that the hairs on Tara's body bristled noticeably, her face contorted with a hatred he hadn't seen since he first met her. He saw the normally cheerful Piper digging her claws into the table, her tail rattling with anger. The slime simply sat there with a sadistic smile. The most troubling for the young man was Mala, who was showing a side of her that he had never seen before. Her lips were curled in a feral grin as if she was going to eat the wyvern. "So, what's it gonna be, lass?" the mermaid asked evenly. "Ye gonna start bein' polite?"

Vera simply nodded as much as she could with Mala's sword at her throat. "Good!" the mermaid said boisterously, her mood turning suddenly. She then clapped the dragonewt on the back and continued, "Glad t' 'ave ye on board! Let's eat!"

The mood didn't get any less tense after Mala's proclamation. If anything, it felt to the agent that any comment at all from anyone would start a bloodbath. Each of the girls were staring at Vera as if waiting for an excuse to tear her apart. "Keeper," she said weakly, "forgive me, but I haven't much of an appetite."

"Siddown," Mala growled. "Ye leave th' table when th' Cap'n says ye can leave."

"And who goes the Captain answer to, Mako?" Satsuke dared to ask.

The mermaid deflated. "She answers t' ye," she replied. "Forgive me, Chum."

"I'm fine with her leaving," Tara said with a cruel grin. "Allow me to help."

"Tara, enough!" the agent shouted.

"So, you're taking its side?" the arachne snarled.

"No, I'm not," he responded evenly. "I'm reminding you of a promise you made to me."

Vera suddenly feared for Satsuke's safety as the large arachne stood over him, her claws bared. She was well aware that the young man was the only one keeping her alive at that time. To her surprise, the arachne backed down, her head hung low. "Yeah, Fuzz," she said softly. "You want me gone?"

Satsuke held one of her claws. "Of course not," he replied warmly. "Now go eat. I'll be right back."

The wyvern sat in stunned silence as she watched the human leave the room. It didn't surprise her that the agent was able to calm the mermaid, but the fact that he was able to subdue a large arachne impressed her more than a little. The echidna didn't make her fear for her safety as much as the others did. While she was aware of how potent an echidna's venom can be, she got the impression that this one was most likely the most easy-going out of her fellow homestays. The slime, however, terrified her. "Ummm... Piper, is it?" Vera asked.

"Yeah?" she replied with her mouth full. "What?"

"What Mako said about the slime... is it true?"

"Ye callin' me a liar?"

"Oh, simmer down, Mako," Piper admonished the mermaid. "But yeah, you know that meltdown that happened in Fukushima?" When the wyvern nodded, she continued, "Yeah, that's where she came from."

Vera gulped audibly. What little she knew of slimes gave her pause, but knowing that this one was made of hazardous chemicals made her cold blood run colder. The fact that this slime was giving her the most evil grin she'd ever seen only made things worse. "Aye, relax, Vera," Mala said. "We got most o' th' real nasty stuff out of 'er. Now if we can keep 'er out o' th' 'ousehold cleaners, it'd be even better."

"So, Keeper commands respect here?"

"Consider yourself lucky that he does, Reptile," Tara growled.

"Oh, come on," Guu whined, "I wanna see some blood!"

"Shut it, Sludge!" the arachne shouted. "I still have no problem putting the hose to you."

"Yeah right," the slime taunted. "The only reason you haven't is you know you wouldn't get any of the pig's sausage."

If the arachne's anger terrified her before, what she saw before her at that point made it feel like mild anxiety in comparison. It became clear to her that, for the arachne, any disrespectful talk of the human would be dealt with swiftly and violently. It was clear to her then that it went beyond simple respect with the others; these girls genuinely cared for Satsuke. Suddenly, she felt pity for the slime. However, that pity was short-lived when she saw the slime get quickly sucked into a container marked with biohazard warnings. "Seems like Guu needs a time-out," Satsuke said with a chuckle.

"God, thanks Coach," Piper said. "I didn't want to say anything, but she smelled even worse than usual... like a combination of Mako's breath, a dead dog, and ass."

The young agent then laid a flat box in front of the echidna, who promptly opened it. Inside was a black kimono decorated with serpents. "Yay, Coach!" Piper cheered, throwing her arms around Satsuke.

"I saw how much you liked it," he said with a smile.

The arachne's face bore a dour expression until she felt something soft go around her neck. She was then given a mirror, which revealed her wearing a black lace choker bearing a spider encased in amber. "Wow, Fuzz," she whispered, then cleared her throat. "Yeah, it's okay, I guess."

"Oy, don't I get a present?!" Mala shouted.

The young man simply put a hand gently on her shoulder, then laid a box on the table. When she opened it, she pulled out a plush parrot. "I love it, Chum!" she said with a grin.

"That's not all," Satsuke said

He then pulled out what looked like a small cloth harness, which he affixed to the parrot's feet. It was then put around the mermaid's shoulder, making it appear that the parrot was perched on it. The mermaid was then given a mirror. When she saw the parrot on her shoulder, she giggled. "Oh my God," Piper gushed, "that's so cute."

"A pirate ain't 'cute,' Pipes!" Mala shouted. "Come on, Monty! We set sail fer Tortuga in th' mornin'!" With that, she wheeled herself to her elevator singing merrily.

Vera watched the exchange silently, feeling her heart well up when she saw how Satsuke treated the other homestays. She saw how each of them reacted to their gifts, showing what lay under their facades. Piper wasn't surprising to her, for she seemed to like looking stylish. Mako, under her brash and raucous demeanor, seemed very playful and possessed a very devil-may-care attitude which she envied. Tara confused her, though. She seemed very angry and ungrateful, but for a moment, she seemed very sensitive and even loving. As it all happened, she felt her appetite returning and began eating her dinner, which she admitted to herself was quite tasty. "This is very good, Tara," she said. "I apologize for my rudeness earlier."

"Whatever, Reptile," she grumbled. "Don't let it happen again."

"I promise it will not," Vera responded. "When will Mako be returning?"

"What the Hell are you talking about?" Tara asked.

"She said she was going to Tortuga," the wyvern said. "That is quite far away from Japan. Keeper, have you approved of this?"

"Are you fucking serious?!" Tara asked incredulously.

"You take things literally, don't you," Satsuke queried rhetorically.

When Vera nodded, he continued, "Mako's just going to her pool downstairs. She just has a very active imagination. She can be quite mature in a lot of ways, but she's a child at heart."

"Yeah, right," the arachne retorted with a sneer. "She's even more of a knucklehead than Knucklehead. I'll be in my room." With that, she scuttled off.

"Piper," the young man said, "will you show Vera around the house? I need to clean Guu up."

"You got it, Coach!" the echidna saluted. "Come on, Vera. This house is so awesome. You're really gonna like it here."

The pair were in the sauna after Piper's tour, taking a moment to show her where her bedroom was, visit Mala, and to warn the wyvern away from the attic. "You are all very strange," Vera said, "even Keeper."

Piper giggled. "How so?"

"Mako claims to be a pirate, Tara seems to be cruel except around Keeper, and even Keeper confuses me. Forgive any offense, but you seem very frivolous... and yet..."

"I think with Mako, it's a thing with her people. She just really digs pirates," the echidna said. "Tara's got a mean streak, sure, but she's actually really nice when you get to know her and figure out what she's actually saying. If you catch how she acts with Coach, that's how she really is. She's got it bad for him."

"Got what?"

"She's in love with him," Piper said, her tone serious. "We all are. He sees us for _who_ we are, not _what_ we are. He doesn't see a rattlesnake, a shark, or a big hairy spider. He sees me, Mako, and Tara. For girls like us, it's hard to _not_ fall for a guy like that."

"Does he not feel the same way?"

The echidna sighed. "How would you feel if you had a bunch of guys who were genuinely in love with you, and you cared about all of them as well?"

"I would not know," Vera replied after pausing to think. "I have never experienced that."

"Neither has he," Piper said. "What's even worse is that he can see that you like him as well."

Vera blushed a little. "Not in that way," she retorted quickly.

Piper smiled as she put her clothes back on. "Give it time, Vera," she said. "Good night." With that, she left the wyvern alone to think over what she had said.

Meanwhile, Satsuke was in his office signing off Vera's homestay forms, and filling out his reports. He noted that he had a breakthrough with both Mala and Piper. He chose not to enter Mala's real name in his report, since what she said was told to him in confidence. Satsuke felt like he had little to report regarding Tara, other than her continued progress. He strongly recommended removing the prohibition of sexual activity between liminals and humans, or at least restricting the prohibition to actual intercourse. He reported his experience during the full moon, emphasizing the need to put liminals on mandatory tranquilizers once a month to prevent injuries, sexual assaults, and possible fatalities. He reported his experiences regarding Guu, adding that lunar phases have no effect on her. _It is likely due to her lack of internal organs,_ he wrote.

Satsuke found himself nodding off, making him glad that he was done with his reports. When he left the office, he noted that the entire house was dark. "Did I really work that late?" he asked himself.

"Yeah," Tara's voice startled him, her tone absent of any animosity. "We didn't want to bother you, since we know you have your reports to fill out. I just wanted to make sure you were okay before I went to bed."

"I am, thank you," Nakamura responded.

"Would you like to come up to my room?" the arachne asked. "Before you say anything, no, it's not in the pervy way like Fish Face or Knucklehead." She hung her head low. "It's in case you just want someone to talk to."

"Are you feeling lonely?"

Tara hesitated. "Yeah, I kinda am," she replied. "Besides, I want you to tell me about yourself. I want to know you better as a person. I know 'Fuzz,' but not 'Satsuke.'"

The young man smiled. "In that case," he said, "I would love to."

Tara smiled wide and said, "Excellent. I'll be waiting."

Satsuke went down into the kitchen to get drinks and snacks, then went up into the attic. There, he told Tara about what it was like for him growing up, and why he wanted to be a police officer. He shared many of the same stories that he told Mala, this time without any embellishments. Throughout their conversation, he found Tara to be an attentive listener, responding mostly with a simple nod of acknowledgement with the occasional chuckle. "I'm glad I had you come up here, Satsuke," the arachne said. "It's nice to just talk, sometimes."

"I agree," the young agent said with a yawn.

"By the way," she continued, "I loved that choker. It was really thoughtful of you. Thank you."

 _"De nada,"_ Nakamura responded with a wink as he got up. "Now, I need to go to bed. I hope we can talk again like this."

"Me too, Fuzz," Tara responded as she curled up. "Good night."

"Good night, Tara," he said as he closed the trap door behind him. He then climbed into his own bed and fell asleep immediately.


	7. Case Docket 6

Case Docket 6 - Daily Life Under Virgin Skies

The sun had just begun to creep through the semi-closed blinds in Satsuke's bedroom when he woke up. He spent a lot of time laying on his back, staring at the ceiling. _What am I even doing?_ he asked himself. _How did this even happen? What am I_ supposed _to be doing? Where do I go from here?_

The first question started creeping into his mind after his first real mission with MON, when Doppel referred to him as the "new bait." _I was told that I would be helping with tactics and negotiations with errant liminals,_ he thought to himself. _I took this job so I can make a difference in their lives._ He thought back on Vera's interrogation, and nagging thoughts kept plaguing his mind. _If I was being used as bait, why?_ He then remembered how Smith conveniently had the necessary paperwork to make the wyvern his homestay, and the eerie similarity with how the harpy came to be with Kurusu. _Am I being set up as a patsy?_

The second question had been plaguing him since he first became part of the Exchange, since Smith first offered the job. It then occurred to him that he was never told exactly what his job was supposed to be, except that he would be filling out paperwork, and report his progress with the girls. Everything started to seem too convenient for Smith. The one thing he felt successful with was in making a difference for the girls. As dangerous as they were, something they all acknowledged, it seemed like all of them just wanted someone who would _listen_ to them and accept them for who they are.

 _Marriage?_ Up until Smith brought up the topic, he hadn't even considered the idea of marrying anyone, human or otherwise, at that point. He admitted that part of the reason was because he was "married to his job." While he was keen to observe many women during his patrols, he never considered the possibility of being in a serious relationship with any of them. _Now I have three girls who are interested in me, with the possibility of a fourth. If it was just one-on-one, it would be easy, because God damn it, I like all of them._

 _What about Guu?_ Satsuke asked himself. _How the Hell am I supposed to know? I don't know even think_ she _knows for sure. Her feelings seem to shift with the amount of laundry detergent she's eaten. How am I supposed to help her?_ It was then that he felt a familiar burning on his scalp. "It's about time you started considering me, Pig," the slime snarled.

"I'm sorry, Guu," he sighed.

"I know," she said evenly as she retracted her tendril. "The others hog your attention, and you're busy enjoying the attention. I know you don't have time for me. You probably don't even like me, and frankly I don't blame you." She then hung her head. "I don't really like myself."

"If you read my thoughts, you'd already know how I feel," Nakamura said, putting a hand on her raincoat-clad shoulder.

"How can I when _you_ don't even know?" Guu spat. "So, when am I going to get you to myself?"

"I didn't realize you felt that way about me," the young agent replied softly, groaning as silently as he could.

The slime snorted and said, "Don't flatter yourself, Pig. I just want to get out of this house, and the only way that's going to happen is if you're chaperoning me."

Although her words stung him, he couldn't help but feel somewhat relieved. "You'll have your turn," Satsuke said with a smile. "I just don't know what you'd like."

"I don't care," the slime growled, "just get me out of here. I just want some fresh air and a change of scenery away from the others."

Her words gave the young agent an idea. "All right," he said, the smile never leaving his face. "Just promise me you'll stay out of the chemicals in the house until then."

Guu nodded. "Fair enough," she said as she turned to leave. "You have my word.

"By the way, the dead whore is downstairs," she continued. "She's got some numb-nuts with her named Kurusu."

 _Kurusu! Maybe he can help me!_ "Thank you, Guu," he replied as he sat up. "I'll be right down."

The diminutive slime gave a quizzical look. "He has the scent of a slime on him," she said. "Is he keeping another of my kind prisoner like you are?"

"I know that boy," he said seriously. "If he has a slime with him, it's hardly a prisoner, just like you're not."

"Bullshit," Guu retorted flatly. "I'm a prisoner just like the others are. It's not like any of us can leave without your supervision." The slime's expression softened somewhat. "I know that being a prison warden was never your intent, Pig. You've treated us very well, some of us better than we deserve." She then smiled. "I know that you're only trying to help us."

With that, she left the room, but not without turning to look at him. "I can see why they love you," she whispered while in the doorway before disappearing down the hall.

Satsuke had just finished putting his pants on when he heard a gravelly voice outside his door. "Yo, Fresh Meat!" she called. "You decent?"

"Come in, Zombina," he replied as he put a t-shirt on.

His undead colleague stepped into his room and looked him over. "Why the glum look?" she asked.

 _Maybe I'm wondering just what the Hell I'm in MON for._ "It's nothing," he replied.

"Agent Smartass dropped the marriage bomb on you, didn't she," Zombina said. "Let me guess: they've all fallen in love with you, and you don't want to hurt any of them."

"It seems like the Agency is more interested in playing matchmaker than helping to smooth the transition between our people," Nakamura snapped.

"Look, Nakamura," she began, "it's obvious that you care about them. It's clear when you look at them, and the fact that you're so concerned about this shows it. Hell, between you and Loverboy, I can't help but feel a little jealous."

"Not you, too," Nakamura groaned.

"No, man," she said while putting a cold hand on his shoulder, "you and I are partners. Sex would get in the way of that. Another time and place, definitely, but now? No." She then clapped his shoulder. "You're a good guy, Satsuke. I'm proud to be workin' with ya."

He scrutinized the undead woman's face, and got the feeling that she was being sincere. "I'm proud to work with you, too," the young agent said while clapping his colleague on her shoulder, causing an arm to fall off. "Sorry about that."

"Don't sweat it," Zombina said with a chuckle. "I sure won't. Not that I could, of course, since my sweat glands don't work anymore. I'll just have Tara stitch it back on."

"So, what brings Kimohito here?"

"Well, we need to excavate an area in the basement for Her Winged Majesty's bedroom. Can't imagine why she'd want the cellar. Said something about it 'feeling like home' or whatever. Anyway, we figured you could use some 'human time' while we do that."

As if on cue, the wyvern appeared in the doorway with her wings crossed. "Keeper, I demand to be placed in separate chambers from that one," Vera said haughtily.

"COACH!" Piper cried from down the hall. "SHE SNORES!"

"Says the bloody fool who rattles in her sleep," Vera retorted.

The bickering was cut off by Mala shouting "Gang way!" before crashing into both the echidna and the wyvern, followed by her raucous laughter. "It _was_ starting to get a little too quiet," Satsuke chuckled.

"Go on, get out of here" she said. "Go have fun with Loverboy."

As Satsuke headed towards the stairs, he could hear his colleague threaten to beat the girls with her detached arm. He was met at the bottom of the stairs by Tara, who bore an annoyed expression. "What's with the weirdo?" she asked.

"That would be Kurusu Kimohito," Satsuke replied. "I know him, he's a good kid."

"I caught that 'good kid' checking me out," the arachne snapped. "You remember that other arachne I told you about? I can smell her stink all over him."

"Do you trust me, Tara?"

"Of course, I do," she replied, looking hurt.

"Remember how I mentioned a boy who risked his freedom for a runaway harpy, and helped that dullahan recover her head?" When Tara nodded, he continued, "That's him. I can vouch for him."

"Okay, Fuzz," Tara said sheepishly. "I'll go let him down."

The young agent's eyes went wide as he ran into the living room to see Kurusu cocooned up to his neck, hanging from the ceiling. He was shortly followed by the arachne who promptly cut the supporting thread, causing him to land hard onto the floor. "Sorry about that, Weirdo," she said gruffly as she opened the cocoon. "You're lucky Fuzz spoke up for you."

"Oh, it's quite all right," he said with a good-natured smile. He then stood up and dusted himself off. "It's nothing I'm not used to. In fact, I get a lot worse from Rachnee-san!"

"Oh, do you now?" Tara said with a wry grin. She then put her face close enough to his to kiss him. "Honey?" she purred.

"Oh, you know her?" Kimohito asked with an awkward chuckle.

"After a fashion, yes," she replied calmly, "and I can't stand the bitch."

Satsuke cleared his throat and introduced the two of them. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Tara-san," Kurusu said, bowing politely.

"Charmed," the arachne grumbled. "So why the Hell were you checking me out? Are you that pent up? I mean, Fuzz is bad enough, but you?"

"Actually," the young boy said shyly, "I find your legs... enchanting."

Tara laughed. "No wonder she likes you," she said evenly, "and she doesn't like anyone. You're okay." The arachne then picked him up roughly by the shirt collar. "Don't let it go to your head, you sick little monkey," she growled, then hurled him into a wall.

Satsuke walked over to the dazed young man and helped him to his feet. "I'm terribly sorry about that," he said.

"No worries, Nakamura-san," Kurusu said, the smile never leaving his face. "The girls here seem very nice!" He then began rubbing one of his buttocks. "Especially Mako-san."

Satsuke laughed and said, "Yes, she's quite friendly in her own way. Would you like to go somewhere to eat?" When Kurusu nodded, Satsuke turned to Tara and said, "There are some things I need to ask him, particularly about Guu. Would you mind keeping a few eyes on things while I'm gone?" He then beckoned her closer, then whispered in her ear, "I also need to know about his experiences with the Agency. I'll tell you and Mala what I've learned when I get back. I know I can trust you two."

Tara nodded, then stood up. "Fine, Fuzz," she growled. "I'll go make breakfast."

Satsuke and Kurusu made small talk while they walked to the maid café, and soon, they were sitting and eating breakfast. The young agent looked around to make sure he hadn't been followed. "Is everything all right, sir?" Kurusu asked. "You seem tense."

"How are things with your homestays?" Satsuke asked.

"Excellent!" Kurusu replied. "Things are always a little hectic, but I'm glad they're in my life."

"What inspired you to take so many in?" the agent asked.

The young boy frowned slightly. "It wasn't like I had much of a choice," he said. "I didn't even sign up for the exchange when Smith brought Miia to my house. I know I was within my rights to turn her away, but she was so scared and confused that I couldn't say 'no.'"

 _Smith,_ Nakamura growled mentally. "You weren't really Papi's host at first, were you?" he asked evenly. When Kurusu froze, Satsuke added, "It's okay. I could see that you were trying to keep her from getting into trouble. I can't fault you for that."

"No, she wasn't," Kimohito replied, "and you're right. I didn't want her to get deported."

"They're in love with you, aren't they," Satsuke said.

Kurusu nearly choked, and looked up at the agent. He could see that Satsuke wasn't judging him, and suspected that the agent was sympathizing with him. "It wasn't so bad until Smith told me that I had to marry one of them," the boy replied.

 _God damn it, Smith!_ Nakamura screamed internally. He then remembered something he had read about the dullahan. "How did you get Lala's attention?" the agent asked.

"She came up to me and told me that I was close to death," Kurusu replied. "The girls nearly killed me trying to keep me away from her. I'll admit that I thought it was just Eighth-Grade Syndrome, until I dreamed of her on the shores of the afterlife after I nearly drowned one time.

"Has she ever visited you?" the boy asked.

"She might have after I first met Piper," Nakamura replied, "but other than that? No. The girls are more of a danger to each other than to me, in fact."

"Do they fight over you?" Kurusu asked.

The young agent chuckled. "Surprisingly not," he said. "Tara and Mako both told me that they'd still be my friend, even if I didn't choose either of them." He then held up his scarred hand. "Mako made a pact with me over that, and from what I know about her, she'd die before she ever broke that pact. They've accepted Piper, and while Tara is rough with her, it seems like it's more out of play than anything.

"It's ironic," Satsuke continued. "The girls I look after are the most dangerous of their species, but I'm in less danger than you."

"I don't think mine understand, except maybe Rachnee-san and Lala," Kimohito said, "but it's okay. I wouldn't trade any of them for the world."

"Even your slime?" Satsuke saw Kurusu nearly choke again. "Smith told me. Besides, I have a slime, too. We call her 'Guu.'"

"Suu really is very sweet, and more intelligent than she lets on at first," Kimohito began. "She can become extremely aggressive if she's dehydrated, and will attack anyone to get moisture from their bodies, so make sure she's kept hydrated."

"We always make it a point to keep Guu well hydrated. When she attacks people, it's not for their moisture. She can be... temperamental at best."

"Does she absorb a lot of poisons?" Kimohito asked. "Suu can be like that when that happens. Her personality changes depending on what she consumes."

"Guu already made us aware of that," Nakamura said. "She's had prolonged exposure to toxic waste, if that gives you any indication."

Kurusu went pale, then cleared his throat. "Onsen water makes her a lot smarter, while salt water tends to make her act a lot more seductive. Suu's extremely fascinating, really." The boy chuckled. "There's still a lot that I don't know about her. We try to filter her as much as we can so she doesn't become angry."

Satsuke sat silently, deep in thought. He wondered if there would be a way for the headstrong slime to willingly filter herself so she can be less hostile. For the rest of the outing, the two men chatted good-naturedly, trading stories about their homestays, each gaining valuable information from the other. The young agent was grateful for the information Kurusu gave him regarding Suu, which gave him more of an idea of where to take Guu for their outing. On his walk back home, the only thing that plagued Satsuke's mind was the fact that Kurusu couldn't give him any useful advice on how to handle the girls' feelings. He found himself becoming increasingly depressed the more he thought about it, so he tried thinking of Smith to make himself angry. When that didn't work, he started singing one of ANM48's songs under his breath in a vain attempt to cheer himself up.

When he stepped in, he saw the five girls waiting for him. "Welcome home, Coach!" Piper greeted him cheerfully.

"Ahoy, Chum!" Mala said, clapping Satsuke on the shoulder.

"Fuzz," Tara grumbled, barely hiding the slight smile on her face.

"Greetings, Keeper," Vera said evenly.

"About time you got home, Pig," an especially diminutive Guu snarled.

"I don't know why she's so grouchy, Coach," the echidna said, a quizzical look on her face. "She hasn't even left her room, let alone gotten into the laundry detergent."

"I'm dehydrated, you fucking moron!" the slime shouted. With that, she attacked Piper, covering the hapless echidna in viscous acid.

 _God damn it, not now!_ "Tara, get the vat, now!" Satsuke shouted.

"Are you sure you don't want me to get the hose?" the arachne chuckled.

"Did I stutter?!" the agent barked. "Get the vat now!"

Mala and Vera looked at Nakamura in shock, and even Nakamura's outburst dumbfounded Tara. "Fine," she growled before scuttling off. "You and I are talking later."

"Mako, would you get some antibiotics for Piper when Tara's done?"

"Aye, Chum," the mermaid replied softly.

"Vera, keep an eye on things and help Mako. I'll be in my room. I need to be alone for a while."

When the pair heard the door slam, Vera asked, "Is Keeper usually like this?"

Mala shook her head. "I ne'er seen 'im like this," the mermaid replied, her voice grave.

Tara came back quickly, then vacuumed the slime into the vat and hurled it into a wall. "Where is he?" the arachne snarled, her face contorted with anger.

Vera stood rigid, terror in her eyes. Tara grabbed the wyvern by the neck and pushed her against the wall. "Where... is... he?" she hissed.

"Leave 'er alone, Legs," Mala said as evenly as she could when she got back. When she finished applying the unguents, she continued, "Somethin' is clearly botherin' 'im. Ye know it ain't like 'im t' yell like that, 'specially not at you. Now put 'er down. Nice an' gentle."

The silence was palpable as Tara looked at the mermaid, until it was broken by Piper weeping softly. The large arachne then looked back at the wyvern and put her down. "Sorry, Reptile," she muttered. "I didn't mean to take it out on you like that.

"I am going to waste that God damned tar ball, however," she snapped. "No one's allowed to beat up Knucklehead but me." She then looked down at the echidna. "Are you okay?"

Piper looked up and started shaking uncontrollably. The areas of her face that weren't peeling were covered in large blisters. "Reptile, help her into the bathroom and draw a cool bath. She may end up hibernating, but we need to get the inflammation down. Fish Face, keep putting the ointment on her and keep her calm." The arachne then knelt and said, "You're going to be okay, Piper."

Vera looked at the arachne for a moment utterly confused, then nodded. "Come on, you bloody fool," the wyvern said as she put the echidna's arm on her shoulder to help her up, "let's get you taken care of."

"So, what'll ye be doin', Legs?" Mala asked.

"I need to talk to Fuzz," Tara replied.

"I dinna think it'd be a good idea t' be botherin' 'im right now."

The arachne looked at her friend with a serious expression. "He needs to know what's going on with Knucklehead," she said. "I'll leave him alone afterwards."

The mermaid nodded, then followed Piper and Vera into the bathroom while Tara climbed the stairs and came to Satsuke's room. She then tapped on the door and said, "Hey, Fuzz. Figured you'd like to know that Piper's in pretty rough shape, and that you should probably consider coming downstairs at some point to see to her."

"Thank you, Tara," she heard a muffled voice say from the other side. "I'll be down shortly."

"Oh, and you'll be happy to know that Sludge is safe in her timeout vat," Tara continued, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Thank you, Tara," Satsuke's muffled voice replied. "I'll be down shortly."

The arachne stood in thoughtful silence, realizing that her mermaid friend was correct, that something was deeply troubling the man who had claimed her heart. "You really hurt me back there, you know," she said, sitting with her back to the door. "I know you didn't mean to, but that hurt a lot." After a pause, she continued, "You know, if something's bothering you, you can talk to me. Right now, I just want to know if we're still friends."

Soon, she heard the door open, and felt Nakamura's presence behind her. "Of course, we're still friends, Tara," he said, "and I'm sorry that I blew up at you."

Tara looked up and saw the troubled expression on her human friend's face. "What's wrong, Satsuke?" she asked, her six eyes filled with concern. "Talk to me. Is it about the Agency? Did you learn anything?"

"It's a lot of things," he replied. "I just need to sort things out in my head, that's all."

"You've finally processed the fact that we're all in love with you, and I wouldn't doubt that Reptile will eventually fall for you, too," Tara said softly. "You seem to have that effect on us girls."

"I wouldn't even know," Satsuke said, hiding his face. "Before you girls came along, I'd never gone on a date before. I've... never even kissed a girl."

"You mean you're a virgin?" Tara giggled.

"Yeah. Do me a favor and don't tell the others. Don't worry about Guu, though; she's already been in my mind, so I'm sure she already knows."

"What is your thing with her, anyway?" Tara asked. "I know you're trying to help her, and I love you for your efforts to help us, but have you considered that maybe she doesn't want any help?"

"I have an idea, and you can thank Kimohito for this one."

"So, what did that perverted little weirdo tell you?"

"Guu told me that she wanted a change of scenery and fresh air, and Kimohito told me that a slime's personality changes depending on the kinds of water they absorb. Maybe some naturally clean water will work, nothing that had been processed. We just need to keep her confined and as dehydrated as possible for it to have the most potent effect."

"Let me come with you," the arachne said. "Sure, I'm a big girl, but I'm pretty good at staying out of sight. I _am_ part spider, you know."

"Okay," the young man said with a smile. "I'm sure if I say 'no,' you'll probably just do it anyway."

"You know me too well, Fuzz," Tara chuckled.

"Oy!" the two heard Mala shout from down the hall. "Did I just 'ear 'im say 'e's a virgin?"

"Who's a virgin?" Piper yelled from downstairs.

"Tara, can you do me a favor?" Satsuke asked, his face a deep shade of crimson.

"Name it," the arachne snarled.

"Kill me now," he said. "Just make it as painless as you can."

"I refuse to hurt you," the arachne said evenly. She then looked at him and winked three of her eyes. "Not in that way, of course," she purred as she pulled her shirt collar down, revealing one of her breasts. "I want to make your first time special, you know."

The last thing that Satsuke felt before passing out was a gush of blood coming out of his nose.

Satsuke woke up in his bed to the sensation of a cold, damp cloth wiping his face. "Are you well, Keeper?" he heard Vera ask. "I never knew that humans possessed that much blood."

"I'm fine, thank you," he replied. "Where are the others?"

"Scheming, presumably," the wyvern replied, "the bloody cretins. Ever since that revelation, they have been coming up with their own ways to 'pop your cherry,' as that crude mermaid put it."

Nakamura groaned. "This is why I didn't want it getting out," he said.

"I fail to see why they're making such an affair of you being unsullied by a woman, if you will pardon the expression," Vera continued. "It is admirable of you to save yourself for someone."

"It's not like I've ever had many options in that regard, Vera," the young man said.

"Fascinating," the dragonewt said as she started disrobing. "Perhaps what you need is a female of proper breeding. As you are my Keeper, it is my solemn duty to offer myself in that regard."

Just as Satsuke was about to scramble away from Vera, he saw her get yanked by the waist by Piper's tail and thrown down the hallway, which was punctuated with a loud crash. "Now I see why Tara likes doing that," the echidna giggled. "That was fun!

"Are you okay, Coach? How far did she get?" Piper continued.

"Thank you for stopping her," Nakamura replied, choosing to ignore the second question. He then looked her over, and was glad that she had almost completely healed. "It's good to see that Tara got to Guu before you got seriously hurt."

"I'm pretty tough, you know," she said with a wink. "It still stings a bit, but I'll be fine in time for you."

"How long was I out?" the young man asked, hastily changing the subject.

"Maybe for about five hours," Piper replied. "I heard you plan on taking Guu out. You'll probably want to do it soon, because she's becoming especially nasty. She might even attack you the moment you open her container."

"I'll be taking her out first thing tomorrow morning," Satsuke said. "I need to call Smith in a bit so I can arrange for a ride out to the countryside, and then I want some sleep."

"Gotcha, Coach," the echidna said with a smile. "And hey, it's cool that you're still a virgin. I mean, so am I! Maybe we can be each other's firsts!"

"Not tonight," Satsuke said, "I have a headache."

"Aww, you're no fun," Piper pouted. "Anyways, good night, Coach."

"Good night, Piper," Satsuke replied with a smile.

When the echidna slithered away, Nakamura called Agent Smith and told her of his plan for Guu. "I'll have a detail keep an eye on you while you do it, Softie-kun," she said seriously. "Just know that Manako's darts will likely have no effect on her. You're also risking possible environmental damage by taking her out. Don't forget where she came from."

"That's why I need the large vat that can be hooked to a water container," the younger agent said. "If your crew can build a full steel chamber overnight without anyone hearing it, this should be easy."

"All right, Softie-kun," Smith chuckled. "I'll have it ready by tomorrow morning. I'll even have Tio come over to help get her in there."

Nakamura almost declined until he understood that Tio's immense strength would be an asset. "At least have her there until we determine if it's safe to let her out," he said.

"Smart man," Smith purred. "See you tomorrow!" With that, she hung up.

 _Dammit,_ Satsuke thought to himself, _all I wanted to do tonight was fill out some reports, then talk to Tara and Mala_. "Oy, Chum," Mala's voice said beyond the door, "can I come in?"

"If it's to make advances at me, can it wait until tomorrow, at least?"

"I jus' wanna talk t' ye," she said.

"Sure," Satsuke relented. "I'm just really tired and want to sleep."

The door opened, and soon Mala wheeled herself next to Satsuke's bed. "I jus' wanted to apologize fer earlier," she said softly. "I shouldn't 'ave done it t' ye. I just dinna think it'd blow up like it did.

"I confess I been 'round th' reefs a couple o' times, nothin' e'er serious," she continued, her voice especially lilting. "It jus' ne'er was a big thing fer me. It ain't like any o' me eggs got fertilized. Ye wouldn't be me first, but ye'd be th' first one that'd be special t' me."

"Thank you, Mala," Satsuke responded. "This has all been a lot for me to take, maybe a little too much."

"I know, me love," she said as she stroked his arm, "an' I'm sorry fer that, too. Jus' take yer time, an' jus' let me know what yer decision'll be either way. I'll not think any less o' ye. Jus' make th' decision 'at's right fer ye.

"Now try an' get some sleep," the mermaid continued. "I understand ye 'have a big day ahead o' ye. Good luck with Gooey."

"Thank you, Mala. Good night."

"G'night, Chum."

x

Satsuke woke up from a restless sleep, and became aware of a presence in his room. Opening his eyes, he saw Tara looking at him. "Is it that time already?" Satsuke blearily asked.

"No," the arachne replied. "Tio shouldn't be here for another couple of hours. I just needed to talk to you."

The young man sighed and asked, "What is it?"

"I just wanted you to know I was only teasing you yesterday," she replied. "Sure, I'd love for us to be each other's firsts, but only when the time is right.

"I want it to be special for both of us," she concluded. She then giggled. "I still think about when you helped me molt. I probably should've warned you that it's a rather... intimate process."

"I, ummm, noticed," he said with an awkward chuckle.

"It felt nice, though," she said, blushing. "I'm getting tingly just thinking about it."

Satsuke felt blood tricking down his nose and onto his sheets. "Looks like someone else is, too," Tara teased. "Better change your sheets and get cleaned up before Fish Face mauls you.

"Shall I get her up here?" she asked. "I know you wanted to talk to us after your chat with Weirdo." Tara then sighed. "I'm sorry I fucked that up with the whole 'virgin' thing."

"Don't worry about it," Satsuke said as he took his shirt off. He then continued, "Please do, and hurry. We might not have time after we get Guu taken care of."

Tara smiled back as she turned towards the hallway. "I'm here for you, Fuzz," she said earnestly. "Regardless of what may happen between us, we're friends first and foremost."

"I'm glad, Tara," Satsuke responded. "See you in a bit."

When the door closed, the young agent got up and took a quick shower, making sure to change his bedding before getting dressed. He had just finished brushing his teeth when the arachne and the mermaid came into his room. "What's on yer mind, Chum?" Mala asked. "It musta been important for ye to have Legs wake me up."

He told the pair about how Smith left a series of liminals on Kurusu's doorstep, and how she was all but forcing the boy to marry one of his homestays. He also shared what happened during his date with Piper, and how he was being used as bait to apprehend Vera. Finally, he reluctantly shared how he came to be in their lives in the first place. He explained how he was suspended for investigating Lala's apparent murder, and that he only got his job back after he agreed to look after the most dangerous liminals they knew of. "Do ye regret e'er agreein' to 'er proposition?" Mala asked him softly.

"Do you regret us coming into your lives?" Tara asked, her six eyes moistening.

"Never," Satsuke replied with a beaming smile. "You girls are the best friends I've ever had. If there's one thing I can thank Smith for, it's that I now have such wonderful people in my life. I wouldn't have told either of you any of this if I didn't trust you completely. Because of Smith, I actually have people I can trust that much."

Both girls smiled despite the tears streaming down their cheeks, then took turns embracing Satsuke. "What about Pipes?" Mala asked. "Ye think ye can trust 'er like ye trust us?"

"From what Piper has told me about herself," he said, "I think so. As far as what she told me, I'm treating it like I'm treating your birth name, Mala."

"If she wants anyone t' know, she'll tell," the mermaid said with a nod.

"She needs to know that you two can be trusted," Satsuke concluded.

"Trusted with what?" the group heard from the doorway.

They turned and saw Piper standing with her arms crossed and a hurt expression on her face. "He didn't say anything," Tara said.

"About what?" the echidna hissed, her tail rattling.

"What the two o' ye talked about on yer date, ye daft serpent," the mermaid replied.

Piper calmed down immediately. "Oh _that?_ Pfft," she said. "Oh, it's no biggie." She then told the girls about her tribe's history, how they found mates, and her reason for being in the program. "It's probably no _huge_ shocker to Tara, since she knows stuff about my people already." When Tara nodded, the echidna concluded, "It's nice of Coach to respect my privacy, though."

"An' that's why he's me Chum!" Mala said, clapping Satsuke on the back.

"Look, girls," Piper said, "I have no secrets. If there's something you want to know about me, just ask."

"Chum," the mermaid said, "ye wanna tell 'er what ye told us?"

Satsuke nodded, then told Piper about his conversation with Kurusu, and his suspicions about Smith. "Anyways," the echidna said, "the reason I came up was that I just got off the phone with the ogre lady. She's on her way with Guu's large vat."

"Let's go downstairs and have breakfast before she gets here," Satsuke said. He then looked at the girls and said, "Tara, would you get Guu ready for when Tio gets here?" When the arachne nodded, Satsuke said, "I'm glad we all had this talk."

The group entered the kitchen to find Vera waiting impatiently for them. "Well, it is about bloody time you all came down here," she complained. "Now, will someone _please_ make breakfast?"

"I'm sorry, Vera," Satsuke said with a smile. "Tara, would you help me in the kitchen?"

"God damn it, Fuzz," Tara growled, "can't you do anything for yourself?"

"I would appreciate it," the agent said, the smile never leaving his face.

"Fine," Tara responded with a frown.

Vera was about to speak up until Mala silenced her. "Mako," Satsuke said when he serving breakfast, "would you keep an eye on things while Tara and I are out?"

"Aye aye, Chum," Mala said with a salute. "Any o' these landlubbers steps out o' line, I'll keelhaul 'em."

"How can you in a house?" Vera asked.

"I'll find a way, ye daft dragon," the mermaid replied with a wicked grin.

Tio arrived shortly after everyone finished eating. It didn't take long for Tara and Tio to get Guu into the large vat. It was approximately one meter in diameter and slightly taller than Satsuke. He noticed the slime was barely the size of a basketball and staring at him hatefully. "We better get her taken care of quickly," Satsuke said. "If she gets any more dehydrated, it could kill her."

"How did she get so small?" the wyvern asked.

"It 'appens when th' li'l bugger goes without water fer too long," Mala replied softly. "Yar, now I'm feelin' sorry fer 'er. I can understand how it mus' feel." She got close to the vat and said, "Chum'll get ye taken care of, Gooey. Just ye sit tight."

"She wouldn't last for more than a minute back home," Piper added. "The desert can be pretty brutal."

Suddenly, even Tara began to feel sorry for the much-maligned slime. "You're gonna be okay, Guu," she said with a smile. "Just trust Fuzz."

"I hope your plan works, Satsi-kun," Tio said, her tone unusually subdued. "I'd hate for anything to happen to you. Bina-chan would be beside herself."

Satsuke started becoming nervous, himself. "Let's get going, girls," he said after taking a deep breath. "The sooner we take care of Guu, the better."

Tara and Tio nodded, then started getting the vat into the truck. "Good luck, Chum," Mala said, taking one of his hands.

"Thanks, Mako," Satsuke said, patting one of the mermaid's shoulders.

After well over an hour of driving, the group found themselves outside of a great forest. Tara looked at it and shuddered involuntarily. "I don't know why," she said, "but this place gives me the creeps. Was this place your idea, Fuzz?"

The agent shook his head, saying, "No, this was Smith's idea."

"She said that it would be someplace people never go to," a shaking Tio added.

Satsuke then saw a sign that read _Don't do it. Think of your family_. Satsuke got a lump in his throat. "No wonder," he said with a lump in his throat. "We're at Aokigahara."

Tara's six eyes went wide. "You mean...?"

"Suicide forest. I hope it doesn't affect Guu."

"Is it really haunted? I mean, ghosts don't really exist, right?" the arachne asked.

The young agent looked at her and put a hand on her claw. "Don't forget, we didn't think your kind existed, either," he said. He then smiled and added, "I'm glad we were wrong."

After patting the ogress's arm, he said, "Let's go, Tio. Tara, you know what to do."

The girls nodded, then Tara scuttled quickly into the woods and was soon out of sight. Tio then lifted the vat with only slight difficulty, and the pair began their trek through the trees until they reached a gently flowing river. Afterwards, they hooked up a hose and fed it into the water. Tio pressed the vacuum switch, and Satsuke turned the valve. Soon, a gentle stream of clean water flowed into the vat. Before long, Guu took the shape of an exceptionally curvy woman of pinkish hue with traces of gray. "Are you okay, Guu?" the human agent asked after turning off the water.

"I'm fine, Sweetheart," she replied with an almost flirtatious smile. "If I had tastebuds, I'd say that was delicious."

The two agents looked at each other with a shocked expression. "Tio," the human agent said, "get her clothes, then I'll open the vat. I think it's safe now."

"You got it, Satsi-kun," Tio said cheerfully, then handed him Guu's rain gear and a radio. "If anything happens, just let me know and I'll be here in a flash. Have fun!"

Satsuke thanked the ogress, and soon he was alone with the slime. After testing the radio, he let her out, noticing a faint scent of cherry blossoms. Although this was the safest he ever felt around Guu, he took comfort in Tara's unseen presence along with Tio being within radio contact. "Thank you, Sweetheart," the slime said, the smile never leaving her face. "I've not felt this good in years."

"I'm glad," the agent replied.

The slime then scanned her surroundings. "There's sadness here," she said. "Where are we?"

"This is a haunted forest," Satsuke replied. "This is where a lot of young people go and, in despair, they hang themselves from the trees. We believe their spirits still roam the forests, and any traveler that comes here can be overwhelmed with sadness. Agent Smith chose this place because it is largely untouched by humans."

"That was careless of her," Guu said. "Is she aware of how this may affect you and Tara?" After seeing the young agent's expression, she continued, "I can feel her presence. I don't hold it against either of you, Sweetheart. I'm well aware of how I've treated the both of you, so I can't rightly blame her for watching out for you.

"Especially knowing how much she loves you," she concluded with a sultry tone. "Too bad. There are so many things I would love to do with you right now." She then winked and said, "Of course, she's welcome to join in, as well as that pretty ogre. Sharing is caring, after all."

Satsuke noticed Guu's scent growing stronger and gulped, becoming very uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart," Guu said, her tone becoming serious. "Those who are like me are very... amorous."

"I see," he responded. "So why do you tend to poison yourself after we try to purify you?"

"It's hard to explain," she said as she sat down, staring at the river. "It's become... normal... for me to be like that. Even now, it feels strange. It's like I don't know really myself anymore. It's becoming hard for me to even come up with words."

"You've become dependent on them," the agent said.

The slime nodded. "I think we become... simpler... when we're purified," she said. "As cruel as I become, I'm also smarter and more aware." Guu began to cry. "I hate being so mean to you and the others. I really do."

Satsuke thought back to his conversation with Kimohito and nodded. "I have a friend who tells me that slimes become smarter with onsen water. Maybe that can be a reasonable substitute."

"Are you talking about that cute boy who also has a slime?" Guu asked. When the agent nodded, she continued, "He would know better than most humans. She's a pure one. They tend to be very simple-minded. Not stupid, just simple.

"I have no way of knowing if onsen water will have the same effect on me, but I'm willing to try," she concluded.

"I will also see if Smith can set up a filtration unit in the house," the agent said, "this way we can keep you as pure as possible."

Guu nodded, then her expression became grave. "The urge to consume dangerous chemicals is still very strong in me, even now," she said, "and I will find them. If I become like this, put me back in my chamber, and heat it up as much as possible. Once I get to the size that I was when you brought me here, give me water.

"Just please be careful," she begged. "I could die if I get too dry."

"I promise," Satsuke said, patting Guu on the shoulder.

"I'm ready to go home now, Sweetheart," she said with a smile. "Thank you for being so kind to me, even when I didn't deserve it." She then looked up and called, "It's safe to down now, Tara!"

Just then, the arachne climbed down on one of her threads, landing softly on the ground. She then looked over the slime and smiled oddly. "You smell nice," she said huskily.

"I'm glad you noticed," Guu responded coyly. "I'll go on ahead and give you two some time alone." She stood up and got very close to the two of them. "Just let me know if you want some company," she said, her voice becoming sultry again. She then turned and started walking back toward the truck, but not without blowing a kiss.

Satsuke stood transfixed as he watched her hips sway, until he heard Tara clear her throat. "What just happened?" she asked.

"I smelled pollen on her," the agent replied after shaking his head. "I think that's her natural state."

"I don't know," the arachne said as the pair walked to the truck. "I think I almost prefer her the old way. For some reason, her scent awakens that instinct in me."

"I hope none of the others have allergies," Satsuke said with a chuckle.

"Yeah," Tara said, her tone odd. "Just so you know, Satsuke, I really want you right now."

The agent paused and took one of the arachne's claws, then looked her in the eyes. "You feel the same way, too, don't you?" the arachne asked.

Satsuke simply nodded. The pair soon found their bodies getting closer, their lips almost close enough to kiss. Suddenly, the mood was interrupted when they heard Tio's voice calling out to them from the truck. "Hey guys!" she yelled. "Ready to go home yet?"

"Dammit," the arachne grumbled.

The agent patted her on the shoulder and said, "I don't think either of us were in our right minds. It's probably for the best."

Tara sighed. "You're right, Fuzz," she said with a smile. "Let's go home so I can take a shower and clear my head before we do something that we might regret."

They got back to the truck to find that Guu was back in the vat, which had been tightly secured in the back. Satsuke looked at Tio and asked, "Why is she in there?"

"She just went in there, Satsi-kun," the ogress replied cheerfully. "She said something about waiting until we got to your place."

Tara looked at Satsuke. "This could be bad," she said, to which the young agent nodded.

The ride home went by without incident, with Satsuke wondering if going too far with Tara would have been such a bad thing. He then banished those thoughts from his mind, thinking that a shower would be a good thing for him, as well. _A cold shower would probably be best,_ he thought to himself.

Night had fallen by the time the group came home, and soon Satsuke, Tara, and a confined Guu were in the entryway. Before opening her container, Satsuke said, "Now Guu, I'm going to let you out now. I understand that you don't have much control over the effect you have on us, but I need you to promise to try and keep it in check. As far as your flirting is concerned-"

"That's part of my true nature, Sweetheart," the slime interrupted, her tone serious. "To make me stop would take away what I am. I don't want to become that monster again. I'll be glad to try not to... affect you and the others, but honestly, I didn't know that about me until I saw how you and Tara were eyeing each other." Guu then gave a smoldering smile. "It may have done you two some good to get it out of your systems, though."

"So, you still have a bit of an evil streak," Tara said, chuckling slightly. Turning to Satsuke, she said, "Go ahead and let Sludge out."

As Guu stepped out of the container, they heard the squeaking of Mala's wheelchair. "Ahoy mateys," she called. "Is that a new perfume ye're wearin', Legs?" It was then that she saw the slime. "Gooey?"

When Satsuke nodded, Mala continued, "I like her new look!"

"You're not so bad yourself," Guu purred.

Seemingly for the first time in her life, Mala was struck dumb. She looked at her arachne friend and asked, "Did she jus'-"

"Yeah," Tara replied. "She did it to me, too."

"She's become very... affectionate... since we cleaned her up," Satsuke added.

"Hey, is Coach home?" Piper called as she slithered out of the living room, stopping suddenly when she saw Guu. "Whoa, is that Guu?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"Mmm, it sure is," the slime replied, her voice becoming husky again.

The echidna looked at Mala. "Did she just-"

"Aye, Pipes," she said, "she did it to me, too."

Before long, Vera poked her head out of the living room doorway, sniffing fervently. "What's all this, then?" she asked. "It smells like a bloody brothel out here."

Mala laughed straight from her belly. "And 'ow would ye know what a brothel smells like?" she asked.

"I will have none of that from you," the wyvern retorted.

"Well hello, Vera," Guu greeted, her voice still sultry. "In my poisonous state, I never realized how many lovely ladies I was surrounded by. It's amazing that Sweetheart can control himself."

Vera looked to the echidna and asked, "Did she just-"

"I know, right?" Piper replied. "She did it to me, too!"

"Keeper, this is highly irregular," Vera huffed. "I demand that that... thing... not address me in such a lascivious manner."

Before the wyvern knew it, she was being lifted by her neck by a very angry arachne. "Let's make a few things clear, Reptile," she said. "First of all, Fuzz doesn't take demands from anyone. Secondly, you are not to harass Sludge if she's actually being nice to you."

"Fine," Vera said. "Now unhand me this instant."

"Okay," Tara said with a smile, then hurled the wyvern up the stairs toward the ceiling, only to see her spread her wings enough to slow her trajectory and land softly on her feet. "Oh, god dammit," she grumbled.

"Well, I never," the dragonewt huffed. "I'll be in my chambers, Keeper."

Piper slithered up to the irritated arachne. "Umm, Tara?" she sheepishly said.

"Whaddaya want, Knucklehead?" Tara snarled.

"You can throw me into the wall, if it'll make you feel better."

Tara smiled. "No," she said with a chuckle, "the mood has passed."

"Well, my beauties," Guu said as she slinked towards the cellar stairs, "I'll be in my room. Feel free to stop by if you're having trouble sleeping. I'll be _glad_ to help you relax."

"It'll take me a while t' get used t' the new Gooey," Mala commented once the slime disappeared down the stairs.

Satsuke chuckled. "Yeah, me too," he said. "Tara, would you mind helping me get this vat downstairs?"

When he got no response, he tapped her on the shoulder. "Tara?"

"Chum, ye better take a look at this," the mermaid said with a smirk.

He walked to where Mala was sitting, then turned towards the other girls. He was shocked to see both Tara and Piper standing slack-jawed, blood flowing freely from their noses. "Now there's a switch," Mala chuckled. "So 'ow come ye're not all bothered?"

"It may have to do with how close Guu is to someone," the agent replied. "They were closer to her than I was. So, why aren't you affected?"

"T' be honest, I kinda was," the mermaid replied while rubbing her temples. "Me guess is that it's worse fer ye landlubbers than it is fer me. Truth be told, it's th' blood that's makin' me feel more frisky, but then, what else is new?

"Anyway, Chum," the mermaid continued with a stretch, accidentally revealing her breasts, "I'm goin' below decks. If ye wanna walk me plank, ye know where t' find me!"

Blood spurted out of his nose the moment he saw the mermaid's bosom. "Did I miss somethin'?" Mala asked, then looked down. When she realized what happened, she squeezed her breasts together while pinching her nipples, making matters worse for the young agent. "That's more like it," she said with a wicked chuckle as she boarded the lift. "G'night, Chum!"

Satsuke ran as fast as he could to get a damp washcloth to stem the flow of blood. When he came back, he saw that Piper and Tara had snapped out of their daze. The echidna wiped her nose, then looked at the arachne. "Did she just-"

"Yeah," Tara replied when she saw the blood, "she did it to me, too."

"Looks like Coach got it worse!" Piper said with a giggle.

"Actually," Satsuke said, "that was Mako."

"Friggin' Fish Face," the arachne grumbled as she headed to the bathroom. "I'm gonna take a shower. I feel... dirty."

"Okay, Tara," the agent said. "I will be taking one as well."

"You're welcome to join me, if you want," she purred as she took her shirt off.

"No, that's quite all right," he replied as his washcloth turned completely red. "Would you take care of the vat when you're done?"

"Of course," the arachne said, winking three of her eyes. "If you change your mind, you know where to find me." With that, she closed the door behind her.,

Piper giggled, then looked at Satsuke and saw that he was starting to become unsteady. "Here, Coach," she said as she put his arm around her shoulders, "let me hold you up."

"Oh, I'm fine, Piper," he said, "nothing to worry about."

"Here, let me help you to bed," she said as she guided him towards the stairs. "Don't worry, I won't torture you like the others." She then lightly touched his groin with a claw. "Much," she said huskily.

The echidna realized that she went too far when the young agent stumbled and nearly fell. "Oh, no," she cried, "I'm so sorry, Coach. I didn't think you were that bad."

Slowly, Piper helped him climb the stairs, steadying him when he would slip. Soon, they saw Vera storming down the hall bearing an expression of extreme irritation. "What the bloody Hell is going on out here?" she groused. "What are you doing with Keeper?"

"You know, Vera," the echidna hissed, "instead of standing there bitching at me, you can help me get him into bed."

"I will not assist you in your efforts to sully Keeper's body, Piper."

"Goddammit, you pain in the tail," Piper yelled, "in case you haven't noticed, Coach is having a hard time staying upright, let alone climbing the stairs. Now you can either shut the fuck up and help me, or get out of the way."

It was then that the wyvern heard Satsuke groan inarticulately. "Oh dear," she said as she came up the stairs and propped up his other arm around her shoulders. "Come along, Keeper. Let's get you tucked in and taken care of."

The two liminals eventually brought their host to his bedroom and laid him down. "Listen, Piper," Vera said, "this is not easy for me to say, but I apologize for doubting your intentions."

"Don't worry about it," Piper responded. "I never thought I'd ever quote Tara, but you're going to have to learn how things go around here. We give each other a lot of shit, and we enjoy teasing Coach, but the fact is we're all friends, and we all love him very dearly. If you stopped being so high and mighty, and start joining in on the fun, you might actually get along with us. Trust me, I'm trying really hard to like you, but you're not making it easy for me."

"Girls," they heard Satsuke say weakly, "please get along. Remember that we're a family."

"All right, Keeper," the dragonewt said. "Get some rest, and we will see you in the morning." She then turned to the lamia and said, "Good night, Piper."

"Good night, Vera."

"Are you gonna be okay, Coach?" Piper asked. "Do you want me to keep an eye on you?"

"I'll be all right," he replied. "I've been through worse."

"Okay, Coach. If you need anything, let me know, okay?"

The agent chuckled. "I will," he said with a smile. "Good night."

The echidna kissed him on the forehead, then slithered to the doorway. "Good night, Satsuke," she said.

The young man fell fast asleep the moment Piper turned off the light. "Sleep well, my dearest," the lamia said before gently closing the door.


	8. Case Docket 7

Case Docket 7 - Daily Life Under Introspection

Satsuke woke up slightly groggy, but otherwise none the worse for wear. He was woken up out of a deep sleep by a phone call from Zombina informing him of an urgent special case that needed his immediate attention. He was simultaneously annoyed and excited, and deep down, grateful that he was called in at this hour, especially after what happened the night before. After showering and putting on his uniform, he stepped into the hallway and enjoyed the moment of relative silence. The girls were still asleep, so all that could be heard was snoring, with the occasional rattle of Piper's tail. After saying good-bye to Guu, who didn't need to sleep, he left the house as quietly as he could.

The first to awaken was Vera. Like Satsuke, she was keenly aware of how quiet it was in the house. However, the silence concerned her gravely. _I must check on Keeper,_ she thought to herself as she got dressed. She then walked up the stairs as quickly as she could to Piper's room and knocked on the door. The door opened slowly after the second set of knocks to reveal a bleary-eyed echidna in an oversized t-shirt. "What?" she groaned. "This better be good."

"Where's Keeper?" the wyvern asked, worry in her voice.

Piper turned and looked at her clock. "It's six a.m., Vera," she whined. "Go back to bed."

"Please," she said, "I am worried about Keeper."

"He's probably at work," Piper grumbled. "Now go away."

With that, the echidna slammed the door in Vera's face, leaving her feeling more than a little perturbed. "Now that was uncalled for."

"Top o' th' mornin' t' ye, Vera," the mermaid's voice greeted her. "What're ye doin' up so early?"

"I was worried for Keeper," Vera replied. "My hearing is very keen, and I can discern the way each of you breathe. I could not hear Keeper."

"Aye," Mala said. "Mus' be an early shift. So why bother Pipes 'bout it? Why not come t' me? Consider me too beneath ye to talk t' me?"

Vera hung her head. "I apologize for my conduct when we first met, Mako," she said. "I was told by Piper that my behavior has been unbecoming of one of my breeding, and that I was alienating you and Tara."

The mermaid rolled her eyes. "Listen, Vera," she said, "yer breedin' an' a couple o' quid'll get ye a pint o' ale, an' not even th' good stuff. 'Round here, nobody cares. All's what we care 'bout is 'ow much of a pain in the arse ye are an' how ye treat Chum. Ye treat Chum all right by me reckonin', so ye're all right by me, e'en though ye're a real pain in the arse."

"What about Tara?" Vera asked.

"Why do ye think she ain't killed ye, yet?" Mala replied with a wry grin. "She's real protective o' him, an' she'd tear someone apart if she e'en suspected them o' mistreatin' Chum, or any o' us fer that matter."

"Then why is she so abusive towards Piper?" the wyvern asked. "She has treated Keeper honorably, from what I have been able to tell."

The mermaid laughed boisterously. "I'm thinkin' if Pipes really dinna want Legs t' throw 'er 'round like she does, she'd say so," she replied. "Believe it or not, she used t' get it lots worse. These days, it's more of a game than anythin'. Make no mistakin', Pipes is made o' tough stuff an' some real nasty venom. If she e'er got wind o' ye hurtin' Chum, ye better pray that me 'r Legs gets t' ye first."

Vera gulped audibly. "Why is that?" she dared to ask.

"We'd kill ye quick," Mala said gravely. "Pipes's venom won't."

It dawned on the wyvern that she had forgotten that the good-natured Piper was one of the deadlier echidnae, and how she may have been testing her patience a little too much. She had been terrified of Tara right away because she had her size, strength, and her quick temper. She feared Mala the least, simply because she knew that the mermaid was out of her element, and that land-bound, she had the advantage. Her contemplations made her understand that her avoidance of the peculiar mermaid was because she was the kind that others looked down upon. _Still_ , she thought to herself, _there's something about her that I can't put my claw on._

However, she realized it was the lamia that she had to watch herself around the most. She knew enough about her kind of echidna that they were the quickest to anger, and was amazed that there hadn't been any fatal incidents with her. "Ye okay, Vera?" Mala asked, snapping Vera out of her contemplations. "Ye look a tad pale."

"What do you really know about Piper?" the wyvern asked.

"Her heart's in th' right place," the mermaid said with a smile, "e'en if 'er 'ead ain't."

"Where else would it be?" the wyvern asked.

Mala cocked her head to the side. "What're ye on about?"

"All the times I have seen of the bloody fool, her head is always where it should be," the wyvern huffed. "Now, if she were a dullahan, I can see her head not being where it should be, but-"

"No, no, no, ye daft dragon," the mermaid interrupted with a wave of a webbed hand. "I'm sayin' 'er intentions are good, but 'er mind sometimes ain't, if ye unnerstan' me."

"I do," Vera said with a nod, "thank you."

"Well, good morning, darlings," a sultry voice said from the cellar door. "It's always nice to see a pair of beautiful ladies first thing in the morning."

Vera's eyes glazed over as blood trickled down her nose. _Oh bloody 'ell_ , Mala grumbled mentally, _not again_. "Top o' th' mornin' t' you, too, Gooey," she responded, trying to calm herself. "Ye seem cheerful."

Guu winked and said, "Of course I am, Mako. Things tend to be lovely when you don't have toxic waste clouding your mind."

The mermaid sighed. "Aye, I s'pose they do" she said. "Sorry, lass. Still gettin' used t' th' new Gooey."

The pink slime turned serious. "I understand, Mako," she said. "You've become so used to the monster that you don't know how to... deal with me anymore. To be honest, I don't know either, because this feeling is very new to me. I meant it last night when I said that I didn't realize how beautiful you all are, inside and out.

"After all," she said, her head hung low, "you all put up with the monster for this long."

"Ain't nothin', Gooey," Mala said, smiling warmly. "Ye go wait in th' kitchen while I get Legs t' make breakfast." She then looked at the still-dazed Vera and tugged on her wing. "Wake up, Vera, an' wheel me t' th' lift. I dunno 'bout you, but I'm starvin'."

Vera shook the haze out of her brain and wiped her nose. "Yes," she slurred. "Yes, of course." When she could clear her mind, she said, "Did Guu just-"

"Aye, lass," she said, "I'm guessin' she'll be doin' it t' ev'rybody."

Soon, the pair were under the hatch to the attic, which Mala slapped a few times with the flat of her cutlass. "Oy," she called, "wakey wakey. Some o' us wanna eat, ye know."

"Fuck off," came the response. "Have Fuzz do it."

"Listen, Tara," the wyvern called, "if Keeper were here, we would not be asking you, now would we?"

The hatch flew open and Tara was on Vera in seconds. "What do you mean he's not here?" she growled.

"She's sayin' Fuzz ain't here, ye crazy bint," Mala said. "Pro'lly got called t' work early. Now calm yer arse down an' feed us."

With a glance to the mermaid, Tara backed down. "I see," she said. "Sorry, Reptile. I'll see you two in the kitchen."

"Be on yer guard," Mala warned as the arachne scuttled towards the stairs. "Gooey's downstairs an' she's feelin' frisky. She got t' Vera earlier."

Tara looked at the wyvern sympathetically. "I think we're all gonna be riled up until we get used to her," she said softly. "Is Knucklehead awake?"

"No," Vera replied, "and she was most unpleasant when I woke her up earlier."

"I'll go warm up the sauna for her," the arachne responded evenly. "An hour or so in there might do you some good, too."

"Oh, that sounds heavenly, Tara," the dragonewt said with a smile. "Thank you."

"I'm doing it for her, Reptile," Tara muttered, "but you're welcome. I'll let you two know when breakfast is ready."

The arachne walked down to the newly-installed sauna, poured some water onto the rocks, and turned on the heat, then breathed deep, savoring the smell of cedar. This was one of the few times she envied her two reptilian housemates. Due to her physiology, she had to be particularly careful about the humidity. Even at this moment, it was becoming hard for her to breathe and see straight. Soon, she became aware of distant voices echoing in her brain, then was shocked to her senses by the shock of cold water being thrown in her face. Reflexively, she grabbed what felt like a neck and threw it, hearing the satisfying sound of something colliding with a nearby wall. "Now that was most uncalled for, Tara," another voice pierced through her brain.

"What happened?" Tara groaned as her vision focused on the perturbed dragonewt.

"You fainted from being in the sauna too long," Vera replied as she helped the arachne stand. "You're lucky Piper and I got to you in time.

"Are you well?" the wyvern asked.

"Yeah, thanks" the arachne responded with a smile. "I owe you one, Vera." She then looked down the hall to see Piper lying face down on the floor in a cloud of plaster dust. "Sorry, Knucklehead."

"It's okay, Tara," the echidna said as she picked herself up and dusted herself off. "I'm glad you're okay. I'm going into the sauna now."

"May I ask you something?" Vera queried when the sauna door closed. "Why must you throw that one all the time?"

"She can take it," Tara replied evenly, "and can dish it out."

The wyvern stood there for a moment with a stone-faced expression. "Hey moron," the arachne growled, "I meant that she'd probably kick my ass if she had a problem with it."

"How can she without feet?" the dragonewt retorted.

"Never mind. Get in there while I make breakfast. It might jumpstart your brain." Tara grumbled while she scuttled towards the kitchen.

Vera shrugged and stepped inside the sauna and disrobed, still wondering how Piper can kick anything as well as wondering where Tara may be keeping any donkeys for such purposes. "Oh hey, Vera!" the reclining lamia greeted. "Oh, this feels wonderful first thing in the morning."

"Indeed," the wyvern replied as she sat down. "Tell me, where does Tara store her donkeys? Also, Tara said that being in here would jumpstart my brain, or some such nonsense. This is far too pleasant to do something so painful."

Piper roared with uncontrollable laughter. "I fail to see what is so humorous about my questions," Vera huffed.

"First of all," Piper said, still fighting giggles, "Tara meant that this might make you... more astute. Secondly, why are you asking about donkeys?"

"She told me you would kick one of them if you had a problem with her abuse," she said. "You don't strike as being so cruel to do that, even if you had feet for such purposes."

Piper started laughing again to the point where she was having trouble breathing. "You mean 'kick her ass?' Oh my god, she meant that I'd beat her up!" she said. "Tara and I are like sisters. Some sisters can be like that. She's said a few times that she's the only one allowed to beat me up, and even then, she's really not that rough with me.

"Trust me," she continued, "if someone else were to lay a finger or claw on me, she'd rip them apart. She feels the same way about all of us."

"Mako told me something to that effect," the wyvern said. "She also said that, should you learn of any who would harm Keeper, they-"

"-would suffer, and suffer greatly," Piper finished the sentence in frighteningly cheerful tone, "and I don't care who it is." The echidna opened her mouth and revealed her fangs as if to accentuate her point. "I know Mako and Tara would be far more merciful than me." She then looked down at the wyvern's wickedly sharp talons. "From the looks of it, those talons of yours could cause some damage, I'm sure."

"You can be sure of it," Vera said evenly. "If harm should come to Keeper, I will find them, and I will kill them."

Piper smiled sincerely. "I'm glad you feel that way, Vera," she said. She then winked and said, "I knew you'd come to love him."

"It's nothing like that, despite my admitted attraction to him," the wyvern said simply. "He is my Keeper. An honorable man such as he deserves to be avenged if something awful were to happen to him.

"Actually, I wish to make a request of you," Vera said sheepishly. "As I have said before, my choice of wardrobe is unfortunately limited due to my wings, and I would like your help with my attire."

Piper's face lit up. "I thought you'd never ask!" the echidna gleefully squealed, throwing her arms around the bewildered wyvern. "Don't worry, I'll _totally_ make you super cute. You oughta ask Mako about when I worked on Coach for his date with Tara. Oh my god, he was _so_ gorgeous.

"You have no idea how much I've been waiting for someone to be girly with," Piper gushed.

"Girly?" Vera asked with a puzzled expression. "Do you mean that you have wanted to have someone to be feminine with?" After a pause, she said, "I suppose Mako would be difficult at best, and Tara is, well, Tara."

"You'd be surprised with Tara," the lamia said. "I saw how she dressed for her date with Coach. I have to admit that, when she chooses to," Piper chose her words carefully, "be more feminine, she looks really good. You're right about Mako, though. I don't know if she has it in her."

"Oy!" the two heard Mala shout as she pounded on the door. "Are th' two o' ye done makin' out in there? Come an' eat!"

Vera looked puzzled. "Making out?"

"Don't ask," Piper responded as she got dressed.

The dragonewt shrugged, making it a point to look up the term as she put on her overalls. The two then walked in and saw their plates. Piper had a large platter with a mound of scrambled eggs on it, while Vera's had a pair of breakfast wraps. "Nice to see you two finally decided to join us," Tara grumbled. "Now sit down and eat."

"How is Piper going to sit when she is physically unable to do so?" Vera asked.

The arachne began pounding her head against the refrigerator, while Mala and Piper snickered. "Oh, Vera," Guu purred with a lustful look on her face, "she was talking to you."

"Can't believe that Sludge has more brains than Reptile," the arachne said.

The wyvern made like she was about to say something, but Mala silenced her with a look, then shook her head. Vera simply shrugged and started eating, glad that her breakfast was prepared in a way that she could grasp it easily. "Thank you, Tara, for making this a wrap," she said.

The arachne raised the eyebrows on the left side. "Whatever," she said.

"I simply wished to express my appreciation," the wyvern said with a smile. "Thank you."

Tara nodded. "You're welcome," she mumbled.

"So Mako," Vera began, "I was told by Piper that Keeper was especially handsome when he took Tara on her date."

"Yar," the mermaid said with a lecherous grin. "Found meself quite jealous o' Legs, despite 'im givin' me a special time before 'er. Treated us like we were both princesses, 'e did. He took Pipes t' a history tour, an' ye already know 'bout Gooey's nature walk." Mala sniffed the air, then looked at Guu. "Gonna have t' get used t' ye smellin' so pretty."

Vera became very envious of her housemates. "Would he be willing to take me on a date?" she asked sheepishly. "I am unfamiliar with modern courtship, and would like to learn as much as I can before I go back to my kingdom."

The smell of cherry blossoms became more intense. "Just ask him," Tara replied, her tone unusually subdued.

"Oh, lovely," Vera said. "Then I do hope Piper can make me especially lovely for him."

Tara found herself unsteady on her eight feet. "I'll be upstairs. Excuse me."

"Are you all right?" Vera asked.

"Please," the arachne said, holding up a hand, "just... don't." With that, she left the kitchen.

"Did I say something wrong?" the wyvern asked.

"No," Mala replied, her voice also subdued, "no, ye didn't." She then rubbed her eyes. "I'll be goin' fer a swim."

Guu watched the entire exchange with a thoughtful expression on her face, then left the room. "Come on, Vera," Piper said, giving Vera's shoulder a gentle, affectionate shake, "let's go make you pretty."

Unbeknownst to the group of friends, in a soundproofed room, were the screams of tearful rage. Those screams came from the mermaid named Mala O'Porbeagle, known to most as Mako the Merciless. On most days, this mermaid was able to hold back her tears and her anger, but not this day. _Am I me mother's daughter?_ Mala asked herself. _Are me an' Chum a bloody tragedy waitin' t' happen?_

Unlike her ancestral cousins, those whom she had scornfully called the "Beautiful Ones," she had no desire for tragic romance. Instead, she yearned for a life of freedom and adventure, and for someone to share that life with. She had sworn a blood oath to Satsuke that she would care for him and be his friend, regardless of whom he chose, and she meant it with all her heart.

Mala wheeled herself to one of her cabinets and opened it, revealing her last bottle of rum. As she had done so many times in her life, she opened the bottle and took a long pull, feeling that all too familiar burn in her throat and in her belly. However, unlike all of those times in the past that it brought her pleasure, this time it sickened her, and failed to keep her long-held feelings of self-loathing at bay.

Thanks to her long-lost cousin, she finally understood why she never truly felt like she belonged among other shark merfolk, and why she was the target of both desire and ridicule. With this came the understanding that she was the product of two worlds, not belonging to either one. Mala closed her black eyes and wheeled herself around aimlessly, occasionally sipping from her bottle in hopes that it would ease her pain. When she opened her eyes, she found herself in front of the mirror on top of her dressing table, and saw the long, wavy, strawberry blonde hair and the sad eyes of her true mother staring back at her. "I'll not make th' same mistakes ye made, Mum" she whispered to her mother's ghost. She then looked at the half-full rum bottle in her webbed hand. "Same goes fer you, too, Dad," she said, then hurled the bottle at the wall, causing shards of glass to fly everywhere. "I'll make me own path, thank ye very much."

She turned her chair and faced her pool, feeling the call of the salted water. A faint smile crossed her lips before she leapt from her chair, reveling in the sensation of the water in her gills as she sped down to the bottom. While she felt that this was a poor substitute for the ocean which she felt only days before, it still helped clear her mind of the wreckage. In that moment, she vowed that, while she would still accept it if Satsuke chose someone else, she would do her best to see that he chose her. _I'll make me own path_ , she reiterated silently, this time with a smile, _an' I'll do me best t' see t' it that ye share it with me, Satsuke_.

In those same moments, the arachne simply known as Tara laid face down on her hammock in the attic soaking her pillow with tears while music blared in her headphones. Like her dearest friend, Tara put up a front to hide her pain. However, instead of the mermaid's joviality, the arachne used violence and anger. Like her friend, the thought of not being able to be with Satsuke was a pain that she never felt before, and one that finally came to a head.

"I'm not worthless," Tara whispered to herself. "I'm not weak."

Tara was one of two hatchlings from a relatively small clutch. Her sister, older than she by mere hours, was the larger of the two girls, and meaner than most of the other large breed arachnae native to her region. Of the two girls, the younger arachne was quicker and more intelligent, which had saved her life on more than a few occasions. Still, it was clear which sibling her mother preferred. Growing up, Tara endured harsh neglect, often going entire days without meals, forcing her to scrounge up what she could from the desert. The only relative she could turn to was an aunt who, like her, was the smartest of she and her mother's clutch. Her aunt taught her how to hunt, and how to make what she found more palatable.

Then one day, barely an adolescent, she was ambushed by her sister while hunting for food. Most of the time, Tara was able to evade her sister's claws. Unfortunately, since she was caught off-guard, she was barely able to avoid being fatally wounded. She wasn't sure how far she crawled until she met her first human, a wandering Navajo. This man healed her wounds, and, in so doing, completely changed her life. After three years of living among the Navajo, she was enrolled into the Interspecies Exchange with the help of her aunt. Before long, Tara set her eight feet onto Japanese soil. After years of feeling worthless, it was Satsuke who treated her like she really mattered. It was at times of sadness that she would lose herself to her music, but those times were becoming more frequent.

"Satsuke," she whispered. "Let me love you."

Tara willed herself off the hammock and walked up to her dressing table. She stared into the mirror and wiped her eyes. Put into the frame of her mirror was a photograph taken of she and Satsuke by the oni she met at the concert. She promised him that she wouldn't show it to anyone, but she said nothing about printing it out. For seemingly the first time, she scrutinized what she looked like in the picture, remembering what Satsuke said when he first saw her that night. She noticed how her hair framed her face, her full lips, how the dimples on her cheeks showed when she was smiling, and the shape of her six eyes. _Was that really me?_ she asked of her own mind. _I was so happy_. Finally, she smiled.

"I'm beautiful," she said for the first time in her life.

Downstairs, in Piper's room, the echidna was combing the wyvern's hair. She had already polished the dragonewt's horns to a mirror sheen. "I've always wanted horns," the lamia said, "and yours are _gorgeous_."

"Trust me, Piper," Vera said, "they are often more trouble than they are worth."

There was only one of Piper's old outfits that could fit her, specifically a form-fitting, open-backed black dress. The only real alteration that needed to be made was an opening for her tail. "God, that is _so_ cute on you," she said. "Goes great with your scales."

"It _is_ rather flattering, is it not?" Vera said as she looked herself over.

"I just wish I could've gotten the matching shoes," she pouted as she applied eyeshadow to Vera's eyes.

The wyvern raised a foot and wiggled her talons. "As you see, my options for footwear are also extremely limited."

"Oh, please," Piper said with a playful rattle, "at least you _have_ feet."

Vera sat back and chuckled good-naturedly. As Piper put lip-gloss on her friend's lips, the echidna wondered if she should really be helping another possible rival. However, unlike the other girls, she almost hoped that Satsuke wouldn't choose her. She remembered her last homestay as she applied a light rouge to Vera's cheek. She had been taking a shower when the host-mother came into the bathroom. So relaxed was the echidna that she didn't notice the woman coming in, so when she felt a hand on her shoulder, she became startled and reflexively bit the human's arm, sending her to the hospital in almost critical condition. The woman recovered, and much to Piper's relief, chose not to press charges since it wasn't the lamia's fault. Still, she was forced to leave that house. _I'm so glad I ended up here_ , she thought to herself. _Not only have I met a great guy, but I actually made friends_.

"Are you all right?" Vera asked.

"It's nothing," Piper replied, smiling weakly. "So, let's get a look at you."

Vera looked in the full-body mirror and barely recognized herself. "I look like a harlot," she said. She then turned to the echidna and said, "I love it!"

"I'll admit I did go a little overboard," Piper responded with a chuckle. "I'm glad you like it, though. I can get more outfits like that, if you'd like."

"I would certainly appreciate that," the wyvern said as she changed back into her overalls and removed some of the makeup. "I will bring this into my chambers. I will still need your assistance with cosmetics, though. What I have for hands are not terribly effective."

"You got it, Vera," the echidna said with a grin as she opened the door.

It was at that moment that the pair heard singing. "Where is that coming from?" Vera asked. "Is this normal while Keeper is away?"

"This is a first," Piper replied. "It seems to be coming from upstairs. Did Coach get a siren or something?"

The pair ran upstairs, since they both knew that sirens, while they may not be nearly as dangerous as their reputation suggests, are still not to be taken lightly. The wyvern and echidna searched through every room and came up empty. Piper then looked up. "It can't be Tara," she said.

Vera looked at the echidna incredulously, then let down the ladder that led into the attic. She then climbed the ladder and knocked on the inner hatch. Getting no answer, she asked, "Do you think a siren might be attacking Tara?"

Piper shrugged. "I will check," the wyvern said, concern etched upon her face.

"It's your funeral," the echidna said as Vera opened the hatched.

The sight that greeted her took her completely by surprise. She saw the arachne dancing gracefully while wearing a set of earphones, explaining why she didn't hear Vera knock. The melody and lyrics pierced the wyvern's heart, and she couldn't help but weep a little. So entranced was she that she wasn't aware that Tara had noticed her. Before she knew it, the arachne was upon her. Tara was so enraged from embarrassment that she was barely aware that she had Vera by the throat, and was pounding the wall with the wyvern's head. Suddenly, the arachne felt something wrap around her waist and hurl her into the wall.

"Are you all right, Vera?" Piper asked as Vera caught her breath and dusted herself.

"I am well," the wyvern replied, "thank you, Piper."

"Good," she said as she gave her reptilian friend a hug. She then turned to Tara and asked, "What the fuck, Tara?! She was worried when you didn't answer her knock."

The arachne simply shook her head while clutching her temples. She then looked at the echidna incredulously. "You just threw me into the wall!" she said.

"Yeah, I did!" Piper retorted angrily. She then started giggling. "I did, didn't I?"

Vera then walked up to Tara and asked, "Are you unhurt?"

"Yeah, fine," she replied.

"I thought maybe a siren was in your room," the wyvern said as she helped the arachne up. "I grew concerned.

"Your singing is beautiful," she concluded with a smile, "and you are a wonderful dancer."

"Wait a minute," the echidna said, "that was Tara singing? And did you say she was dancing?"

"What of it, Worm?" Tara growled.

"Well," Piper replied, "considering how many times you've thrown me into a wall, you can imagine that I'd be a little surprised. I think it's really cool, though! You've got a seriously amazing voice."

"Do you really mean that?" Tara whispered. "You don't think I'm pathetic?"

"We would never think that," Vera said firmly, "and anyone who thinks that would have to answer to me."

"Oy," they heard Mala call from the elevator, "who's singin' an' dancin'?"

When Tara put her palm over her face, Mala laughed from her belly and said, "Knew ye had it in ye, Legs. No one's that rough an' tumble without a soft side."

Tara crouched down and began weeping. "Look, Tara," the mermaid continued, "ye're one o' me best mates. Best second-in-command a pirate can ask fer. I'm 'ere fer ye if ye need t' talk."

"Are all of you still sad?" a voice said meekly. "Can you stop being sad?"

The group turned and saw Guu with a despondent look on her face. She clearly hadn't hydrated for a while, for she bore the appearance of a girl no older than eight. "Nah, no one's sad no more, Gooey," Mala said. "We jus' needed a moment. Folks get sad, sometimes."

The slime nodded, accepting the answer. "It's about Sweetheart, isn't it, " she said, her face starting to twitch. "You all love him, and now you have another rival."

"I promise you all," Vera said, holding up her wings in protest, "I have no romantic interest at all in Keeper."

"So why the Hell did you want a date with him?" Tara snarled.

"I am here to learn about modern society," the wyvern replied, "all aspects of it. I am attracted to Keeper, of course, but my heart belongs to another. I am to be married upon my return to my people."

"Wait, seriously?" Piper asked. "So, what was with the other day when you intended to 'sully' him?"

"What?!" Tara roared.

"Chill out, Tara," the echidna said. "Don't get your spinnerets in a twist."

"I was given no expectations of chastity," Vera replied plainly, "and I am free to do as I wish before the day of the ceremony."

"Aye," Mala said, "th' Beautiful Ones can be like that, too." She then turned to Vera and said, "That's what me people call th' mermaids like Princess Mero. So damned pretty, folks fawn all over 'em."

"Was that the mermaid you talked to before you went fishing with Coach?" Piper asked. "She was very pretty."

"Aye," she said with a sigh. "Now if ye'd please drop th' topic, I'd appreciate it."

Tara stood up above the other three housemates and snarled, "Fuck off."

Piper nodded, then turned to Guu. "Come on, Guu," she said. "Me and Vera will get you something to drink."

Soon, the arachne and the mermaid were alone. "Okay, Mala," Tara said softly, "level with me here. You say I'm one of your best friends, so what's got you down? I heard you wailing when that other mermaid left, then you got mopey the next morning. What aren't you telling me?"

"Mero's me cousin," Mala said. "Me real mum died some time after I was spawned." The mermaid chuckled darkly. "I s'pose that makes me royalty now, eh?"

The arachne snorted. "Whatever," she said. "You're still a goddamned Fish Face."

Mala looked up at Tara and smiled, putting a webbed hand on her friend's furred arm. "Thank ye, Legs," she said, wiping away a tear. "I needed t' hear that ye dinna see me any different."

"Look," the arachne said, getting up close, "you're one of my best friends, too, okay? You know I've got your back, and I know you've got mine. I never imagined that the sister I've always wanted would be some weird Irish mermaid, but you know what? I'm glad I met you."

The mermaid wiped away a tear. "An' I ne'er thought me best mate'd be some hairy landlubber with eight legs" she said.

"Umm, girls," Piper said, "I'd hate to interrupt your moment, but we have a problem."

Tara whirled around angrily, but calmed down when she saw her housemates, each with a look of sheer terror. "What's going on, Knucklehead?" she asked.

"I found this on the doorstep," the echidna said, her voice shaking.

Her clawed hand shook as she handed Tara a photograph bearing a pair of cocoons stuck to a web. In the background was what seemed like rotted wood, dust and torn paper doors, like no one had been in that room for a long time. On the floor under one of the cocoons was the hat belonging to Satsuke Nakamura, along with his MON-issue sidearm. The arachne's face went pale as she examined the picture closely. "What is going on, Tara?" Vera asked, her voice bearing a keen edge.

"I recognize the pattern on that web," Tara replied. "I'd know it anywhere, but I haven't seen it since I left for Japan. I can't believe she would do this."

"Who?" Piper asked, her voice shrill. "Who did this to Coach?!"

"My mother," she said in a trembling voice.

Piper hissed and lunged at Tara, only to have Guu stop her by engulfing her and sticking to a nearby wall. Suddenly, the echidna started feeling strange. "I'm sorry, Piper," the slime said.

"Don't," Piper panted, "don't stop. Oh, my God, this is good..."

The echidna began moaning while Guu throbbed around her body, her color darkening with each pulsation. "Ummm," Vera said, feeling very awkward, "should we be watching this?"

"I am shocked and somewhat repulsed," Tara replied, "and yet I can't look away."

Before long, Guu removed herself from Piper, leaving the lamia collapsed in a heap, covered in slime. "Are you unharmed, Piper?" Vera asked as she squeamishly helped the echidna up.

"Never better," she replied with a smile. "Anyone got a cigarette?"

"Ye folks better get a look at Gooey," Mala said, her voice shaking.

The group saw that the slime had taken on a distinctly gray hue. "Are ye okay there?" the mermaid asked.

"Never better, Mako," Guu replied, her tone sinister. She then approached the nervous mermaid and said, "I'm ready to go again if you're up for a little fun."

"Enough of this!" Tara roared, punching a hole in the wall. "This isn't getting Fuzz back! Knucklehead, clean up and call the corpse. Reptile, is your sense of smell as good as your vision?"

"It is," she said.

"Sniff around," she said. "Mom smells kinda like me, only worse." She then ran into Satsuke's bathroom and came back with one of his dirty socks and handed it to the wyvern. "I know it's disgusting, but please smell this. Come back when you find either my mother or Fuzz."

Vera took the sock without hesitation and sniffed it deeply. "I gladly do this for Keeper," she said. "Wish me luck, friends."

When the wyvern ran to the door and took flight, Tara turned to Mala and asked, "How much damage can those replica swords do?"

"Not much, t' be honest. Besides, I ain't much good on land at all," Mala sighed. "I'll jus' hold ye back."

"I'll throw you at her if it comes to that," Tara said.

"Always with th' throwin', eh?" the mermaid chuckle. "So what about Gooey?"

The pair turned and saw Guu draining a container of paint thinner while consuming a large quantity of arsenic, turning herself a dark shade of gray. "Lock and load, my lovelies," she replied with a sadistic grin. "Lock and load. Where does Sweetheart keep the bleach now?"

"Ye're doin' it fer Chum, right?" Mala asked.

"Do you want my help or not, fish fucker?" the slime snarled.

"I'll go get it," Tara said as she grasped the handlebars of Mala's chair. "We'll worry about cleaning you up when we get Fuzz back."

Guu started bubbling inside as she watched her two housemates leave. She felt a strange mix of shame and elation inside as she dissolved the last of the arsenic, which only served to anger her further. Still, even with her toxins, she felt the same way as she did for the others, especially Satsuke. _Sweetheart better appreciate what I did for him_ , she seethed.

"I just got off the phone with Zombina," she heard Piper say from the stairs. "She said-," then stopped mid-sentence. "Oh, shit."

Guu turned around and started slinking towards the terrified echidna. "Well, hello, Piper," she purred. "Ready for Round 2?"

"TARA!" Piper cried. "HELP!"

The arachne rushed over to see the echidna cowering against the wall, the slime approaching her ominously. "Get away from her, Sludge," she shouted, "or you'll get the hose."

"Back to yer old tricks, eh, Gooey?" Mala grumbled as joined the others, clutching a bottle of chlorine bleach in her webbed hand.

"I just can't help myself," she retorted softly. "She's just so yummy."

Before the arachne could say anything more, they heard Vera run up the stairs struggling for breath. "Forgive me, Tara," the wyvern panted, "but I couldn't find him. There were just too many scents to discern either your mother's or Keeper's."

"Shoulda known," the mermaid sighed as she gave Guu the bleach. "Ye did yer best, Vera."

"Of course you couldn't find them," a voice purred from Satsuke's room. Soon the group were joined by the arachne known as Rachnera Arachnera. "What you need is another arachne."

Tara whirled around and faced the other arachne. "I'm not in the mood for your shit, _puta,_ " she snarled.

"What if I told you that I knew where they were?" Rachnera asked with a coy smile, putting a clawed finger to her chin. "After all, who do you think took the picture?"

"Then ye better be talkin', ye pain in th' tail fins," Mala growled, "or I'll run ye through."

"And how do you think you'll do that with a fake sword?" Rachnera retorted, laughing mockingly. "Oh, but this is too precious. You all remind me of the other girls I live with. Now all you need is a centaur then your pet human will have the whole set."

"If you took the photograph, then why did you not help him?" Vera asked as she approached Rachnera menacingly.

"He's not my problem," Rachnera replied casually.

"Where is he, you eight-legged bitch?!" Piper screamed.

She then bared her fangs and went to strike the smaller arachne, only to have Tara grab her by the tail and hurl her into the wall. "Start talking," she said, "or I won't stop her next time."

"Ooh, your pet human has a lamia with a worse temper than Honey's," Rachnera said with a mocking chuckle.

Tara bared her own fangs, and grinned wickedly. "Do you how fast a Western diamondback rattlesnake can strike?" she asked, getting up close. "Pray that you don't, because Knucklehead is even quicker."

Rachnera chuckled cruelly. "You caught her easily enough," she said.

The larger arachne chuckled back. "Not really," Tara said. "I was going for her neck." She then grabbed Rachnera and lifted her by the throat. "Now talk," she said casually as she squeezed Rachnera's throat, "or we'll _end_ you."

Rachnera's eyes went wide as she looked at Tara and her friends. The mermaid was licking her sharp teeth, and eying the smaller arachne as if she were a seal. Rachnera could see a cool, detached look on the dragonewt's face, not unlike what one would see on a serial killer. The lamia was seconds away from berserk fury. However, none of them frightened her as much as the slime. The fact that its expression matched Suu's when she was about to attack didn't bother her. It was the way the floor sizzled when she dripped on it. It was when the slime winked and made a kissing gesture that she decided to talk. "Your mother has him in an abandoned house at the far end of town," Rachnera rasped. "Please let me go."

"How do we get there?" Mako growled.

"Can't... breathe..."

Tara put Rachnera down gently and released her. "Awww," Guu whined as the smaller arachne coughed. "She's just so _cute_ , and I was hoping for a little action."

"We need her, Sludge," Tara said. "You touch her and you get the hose."

Rachnera barely heard as she struggled to catch her breath. "You all care about him this much?" she asked.

Tara's expression softened somewhat. "We do," she replied. "He's the best thing that's ever happened to us."

"Then I'll show you the way," Rachnera said with a smile. "Let's hurry, though. She scares me."

The larger arachne nodded. "Yeah," Tara said, "she scares me, too."

 _She lives with these psychopaths and her_ mother _is the one who scares her?_ Rachnera thought with a shudder. She was startled when Tara addressed her housemates, saying, "Come on, let's go." When all except the dragonewt started moving, Tara smacked her in the back of the head. "Snap out of it, Reptile," she said. "We're heading out."

"Yes," Vera said as she shook her head, "yes of course."

After preliminary introductions, the group were able to travel rapidly and discreetly thanks to Rachnera's directions. The smaller arachne noticed that, while still suspicious, Tara and her housemates seemed to relax around her. Vera took to the skies as the rest traveled on the ground. Rachnera carried Mala while Tara carried the mermaid's wheelchair. The smaller arachne was surprised at how dry and light the mermaid was. Before long, the group were outside of a house surrounded by overgrown weeds, made eerie by the dying sunlight.

"Coach better be in there, bitch," Piper hissed.

"Chill out, Knucklehead," Tara said. "As much as I don't like her, she's not a liar." She then turned to Rachnera and said, "Thank you. I'll never forget this."

"Of course you won't, Tara-chan," the other arachne said with a three-eyed wink. She then turned serious and said, "Good luck. If he's as good to you as you say he is, you girls deserve to have a guy like him. We need more humans like that."

When the smaller arachne left, Tara addressed the group, saying, "Be careful around my mother. She's even bigger and meaner than I am. Just pray that my sister's not there. She's worse than the two of us combined."

The only one of the group that didn't turn pale was Guu. Instead, the slime smiled wickedly. "Mmm, more fun," she said. "Are they as hot as you?"

Tara glared at the slime, then cringed. "Okay," she said to the girls, "let's go."

 _Please be alive, Satsuke_ , Tara pleaded silently. _Please be alive_.

At that moment, Satsuke woke up to find himself wrapped head to toe in a sticky cocoon, not knowing that the girls were coming to his rescue. With difficulty, he was able to move the silk enough to see the shape of a very large arachne looming over him. He tried to scream, but his voice was muffled by the threads covering his mouth. "I see you've woken up," the arachne purred in heavily accented English. "How precious."

The arachne extended a claw and cut the threads that were covering his face. "Why are you doing this?" the young agent shouted back. "Who are you?"

"Ah, you speak English. Splendid," she responded. "Did you know you talk in your sleep, ape-kin? It turns out that you have something of mine, ape, and I want it back."

"I assure you, ma'am," Satsuke said, his voice shaking, "that I have no idea what you're talking about."

"It's no matter," the arachne said as if the young man never said anything. "If you won't tell me where she is, I'm sure she will try to find you."

 _She?_ Satsuke's blood went cold. "Are you talking about Tara?"

"Is that what she's calling herself these days?" the large arachne chuckled cruelly. "How cute."

"What do you want with her?" the agent yelled.

"What is she to you, ape?" the unknown arachne hissed.

"What is she to you?" Satsuke retorted. "Until you tell me, I won't say a thing."

"Oh, how brave of the little ape," she mocked. She then dragged a claw down his torso, then poked his groin, making him groan in pain. "I have ways of making you talk."

The young agent examined his captor as well as he could in his current state. She was the largest arachne he had ever seen, easily over seven feet tall. Her fur and hair color were the same color as Tara's, but with traces of gray. Her only garments were a series of leather straps to preserve what little modesty she seemed to have, including a pair of straps adorning her face. "Who are you?" he asked again.

"I am Arani, if you must know," she said. She then poked his groin again, this time harder. "I will ask again," she growled, "where is she?!"

It was then that the young agent heard the loud crash of a door being forcibly opened, with his homestays rushing into the room, each with expression of a mix of fear and rage on their faces. "Mother, stop this!" Tara shouted. "Let him go!"

 _Mother?_ Satsuke silently said to himself.

"What is this ape to you?" Arani asked. "Is he your mate?"

"He is my friend, Mother," the younger arachne responded. "Now let him go!"

"Very well," her mother said, then snapped the threads that were holding him to her web.

"How could you do this?!" Tara screamed.

"I knew you wouldn't come to me of your own volition, Daughter," the elder arachne replied evenly. "Honestly, I thought you were dead after what Chula did to you."

"What do _you_ care?!" her daughter screamed again. "All I've ever heard from you was that I was weak, and not good enough for you!"

"It is a pity that you would feel as such for your own daughter," Vera said evenly. "To the contrary, she is one of the strongest, most passionate people I have ever encountered."

"Indeed," Arani said with a smile. "One would need to be to have such a will to live after such an attack. Rest assured, your sister has been punished accordingly. I am sorry for having said such things to you. I was wrong.

"Now please," she continued, "come home."

"I _am_ home, Mother," Tara responded. "These people are my family."

"Aww, how touching," Guu giggled. "Excuse me while I puke."

"Believe me, Arani," Satsuke said, "if you had told me you were her mother, I would have gladly told you.

"Now," he continued, "would someone please cut me loose?"

The young arachne gently sliced open the cocoon that encased Satsuke, then held him close. Seeing the young agent in such a weakened state tugged at her heart. _What if next time, I'm too late?_ she thought to herself. She resolved to show him, whenever she could, how much she loved him and wanted to be with him. _I might not get another chance._ "Did she hurt you?" she whispered, tears streaming down her face.

"I can't feel my arms and legs," he replied. "I'm fine, though." He then smiled. "I've been through worse."

"Don't worry, my love," she whispered, kissing his forehead. "The venom will wear off soon."

"Is the girl all right?" Nakamura asked.

"Girl?" Tara asked. "What girl?"

She looked and noticed the other cocoon held fast to her mother's web, then cut it down and sliced it open with a claw. In the cocoon was what seemed to be an unconscious preadolescent girl dressed in Gothic Lolita fashion. Her eyes went wide when she saw the girl's face. "Only one eye," she said.

"Curious," Vera said as she examined the small monoeye closely. She then put her ear to the girl's lips, not knowing that she had woken up and screamed in terror. "She still lives," she said, then looked at the girl. "You did not have to scream like that, little one."

"Who're you calling 'little,' Smaug?" the diminutive monoeye retorted.

"Well, I never!" the wyvern huffed, then stormed away. "Ungrateful whelp!"

"Well, other than your bad attitude," Piper said, rolling her eyes, "are you okay, Blinky?"

"The name's 'Iris,' Coily," the monoeye replied, "and other than being sticky, numb, and like I'm gonna puke, I feel like shit."

"I like her!" Guu said with a giggle.

"That feeling will go away eventually," Tara said. "Unfortunately."

"Any chance ye can wrap 'er back up there, Big Legs?" Mala asked.

"At least her mouth," Tara added.

"Wanna place bets on how long it's gonna be 'til Tara throws her into a wall?" Piper asked.

"Try it, Lolth," Iris taunted.

"Well, I was gonna wait 'til you felt better, but if you insist," Tara said before picking up the small monoeye from the back of her blouse and threw her into the wall.

Suddenly, Zombina burst into the room brandishing a pair of AK-47s. "FREEZE!" she shouted, a little too enthusiastically. She then saw the monoeye embedded in the wall. "Dammit, Spider," she said, "couldn't you have at least waited?"

Tara only shrugged. "She asked me to," she replied simply.

"Is this a habit for you, Daughter?" the elder arachne asked.

"Aye," Mala replied. "'Tis how she says 'hello.'"

"That's my girl," Arani said, beaming with pride.

"Wait a sec," Zombina said to Tara, "that's your _mom?"_

"Yeah," the younger arachne said, her tone betraying her annoyance. "Can't you see the resemblance?"

The undead woman looked over the pair. "Yeah, kinda," she said. "You've got her eyes. You seem to have bigger boobs, though." She then looked at Arani. "No offense."

The elder arachne simply laughed. "None taken," she said.

"Anyways," Zombina said as she pried the diminutive monoeye from the wall and blindfolded her, "I gotta get the pipsqueak into custody." She then helped Satsuke stand. "I'll call for a ride home for you all. See ya tomorrow, Fresh Meat."

Satsuke nodded as he clutched his temples. The feeling began to come back in his limbs, only to be replaced with a pain comparable to being stung by a hundred bees. Despite this, he was able to hold himself up by leaning against the wall. After the undead agent left with Iris in tow, Piper looked at the elder arachne and said, "I was expecting you to be a lot scarier, but you seem pretty chill."

"It was my intent to see that she could survive without me," Arani replied, "but she left before I could tell her. In truth, I knew in my heart that she was stronger than her sister. I simply needed to see this for myself." She then turned to her daughter and said, "You are a very strong, smart, and resourceful arachne, and I'm very proud of you," she concluded. "I am also pleased that you have surrounded yourself with such good friends."

"Then why did you say those horrible things to me?" the younger arachne asked with tears in her eyes.

Arani lifted her daughter's chin with her finger. "I didn't want you to have to depend on me," she said softly, "and the only way I could think of was to make you hate me. Believe me, Daughter, it broke my heart to say those things to you."

"What about Chula?"

"I did have her ambush you," the elder arachne admitted. "I wished to see how you'd react in the event you're caught off-guard. I didn't anticipate that she was even stupider than I thought."

"So, let me ask you this," Tara began. "Why did you hurt Fuzz and the maggot?"

"The girl was used to lure your friend," she replied sternly. "I needed to paralyze him so I could find out where you were. I apologize for doing something so extreme, but it was the most effective way we could think of."

"Wait a minute," Tara interjected. "'We?' Is my sister here?"

"No," a male voice said from the next room.

Everyone gasped when the source of that voice, a tall, middle-aged human, came into the room. He was tall, with tan skin and long gray hair. His eyes were kind, and his smiling face was marred by lines created by years of worry. "Hello, Tara," he said. "It pleases me to see that you are well."

"Mr. Blackfeather!" the young arachne cried with elation as she ran to him and gave him a warm hug. "It's wonderful to see you again!" She then turned serious and asked, "Why did you do all of this? It's not like you to be this cruel."

"The method, as much as I disapproved," he replied, glaring at Arani, "was her idea. I went with it only because I simply couldn't think of a better way. I tried reaching out to the Agency, but they said that they wouldn't tell me where you were unless I was family. They wouldn't believe me when I said that I was. So, your mother felt it necessary to find you by abducting that strange girl to lure that kind man to get information from him. We had no idea that he was your friend.

"It pained me to do it," he concluded, "but we agreed that it would be the most effective. Forgive me, my daughter."

Tara was struck dumb. "Daughter?"

Tears rimmed the man's eyes. "Yes," Blackfeather said. "I regret not telling you. If there was one thing your mother and I agreed on, it was that we wanted you to be a strong, independent woman. Apparently, it is the arachne way for hatchlings to be separated from their mothers at an early age." He then chuckled. "I guess you take more after me."

"Don't hate him, Daughter... Tara," Arani said, smiling warmly.

"I can't," the young arachne said, smiling despite her tears. "Deep down, I knew when he healed me and cared for me." She then crouched her eight legs so she could be at eye level with Blackfeather. "I love you, Daddy."

Her father began crying and embraced Tara. "I love you, too, my little girl."

There was a moment of silence, which was broken by the loud wail of an emotionally moved echidna. "That's so beautiful," she sobbed into Vera's shoulder.

"Aye," Mala added as she wiped away a tear.

Addressing the girls, the older man said, "I am Juan Blackfeather. Apparently, my little girl still needs to learn her manners, because I don't know who any of you are."

After Tara formally introduced her friends, Piper began looking over the arachne's father with interest. "So, this silver fox is your dad?" she asked.

"Piper," Vera said, "I was of the understanding that your eyesight is better than this because her father is neither silver, nor a fox."

"Um, Vera," Piper said, "come here a minute."

The lamia whispered in the wyvern's ear, periodically pointing to Blackfeather. "Oh, I understand," the dragonewt said. "I agree, he is quite attractive."

"Are you two done ogling my father?!" Tara growled. She then looked at Guu and said, "If you so much as _look_ at him funny, I will drop you in the Marianas Trench. Got it, Sludge?"

Guu simply shrank back and nodded. "Forgive me, Tara," Vera said after clearing her throat. "My behavior regarding your handsome father was most improper."

When Juan saw Tara's reaction, he put his hand on her arm gently to calm her. "It's all right, Tara," he said with a smile. "It does an old man good to hear that he can still turn the heads of such lovely young women."

Piper giggled, then turned pale. "Umm, Tara's Mom," she said, shaking her tail in fear. "Please don't kill me for checking your man out."

"He is not my 'man,' as you put it," Arani said. "I do care for him, yes, and he cares for me, but we are not, as humans say, a couple.

"I do agree that he is still quite attractive, though," she continued lecherously. "After all, I did conceive two daughters with him."

"I'd really appreciate it," Tara said, "if you'd all stop talking about my dad like that. I don't need to be hearing that shit."

"Well, he is a rather handsome devil, Legs," Mala said with a wink.

"By the Grandmother, you girls are good for an old man's ego," he laughed.

"Bah," the mermaid said, "ye're only as old as ye feel, Handsome." She then looked at Tara and said, "I actually see th' family resemblance. Ye've got his smile, an' a little bit o' th' face."

Blackfeather then looked up at Tara and said, "Well, your mother and I must be going. I'm so glad you made such good friends."

"Yeah, me too, Dad," the young arachne said.

"I am glad we were able to mend our differences, Tara," Arani said as she embraced her daughter.

"I am, too," the younger arachne said. "Love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, my daughter. I will pass along your greetings to Chula... by throwing her into a wall."

The entire room erupted into laughter. "And that's where Tara takes after her mother," Piper said.

Tara replied by picking the echidna up by the neck, only to be stopped by Satsuke. "Wait until we get home," he said.

"Okay, Fuzz," the younger arachne said, playfully pouting. She then crouched and hugged her father, saying, "It was wonderful to see you again."

"For me, too," he responded, returning the embrace, "and don't forget to call a worried old man."

"I won't," Tara said, kissing his cheek. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, too, my little girl," Blackfeather responded. "Now, I need to speak with this young man alone."

After the girls left, Blackfeather said, "You're a strong, compassionate man to take in such dangerous, yet troubled girls so bravely."

"Many of them simply need a friend," the young agent responded with a smile.

The older man smiled. "I want to thank you taking such good care of my little girl."

"It's been my pleasure," Satsuke said with a smile. "Tara has become one of my dearest, most treasured friends. They all have, in their own way."

Blackfeather turned serious. "What are your feelings toward my daughter?"

"I care about her a lot," Satsuke said, "and, I trust her implicitly."

"But...?" the Native American said, his voice devoid of any judgment.

"Deep down, I'm still frightened of her," he replied. "She's attacked me twice already, and I'm scared that she would have killed me on the night of the last full moon."

"I had similar fears regarding her mother," Blackfeather said with a sigh, putting a comforting hand on Satsuke's shoulder. "Your fears are understandable. Tara has a very gentle and loving soul. Still. I can sense deep aggression and ferocity in her." The older man looked him in the eye. "You're a good man, Satsuke Nakamura, and I have no doubt that you would be a good husband to her, should you choose to be. Regardless of what you choose, do right by her, and be a good friend to her." He then chuckled. "I don't suppose I need to ask you to do that. You've done a great job so far."

"You honor me, Blackfeather-san," the agent responded with a smile.

Tara's father gently shook Nakamura's hand, then said, "Now, I must be going, and I'm sure you would like to get some rest after what you've been through."

"I'm sure you do, too," Satsuke chuckled. "Good night."

The two parted company after he helped the young man walk outside, where he was met by the girls. He saw Tara tearfully embrace her father one more time before they made their way to the waiting vehicle, with Piper carrying Guu's container. Vera was lost in thought as she walked to the truck. _Was it a mistake for me to request to stay with Keeper?_ she mentally asked herself. _What are these feelings I am having for him? This is not supposed to happen._ Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt herself being lifted roughly by the straps of her overalls and brought into the truck. She looked and saw Tara glaring at her.

The wyvern stared through the window as the vehicle sped off. "Was this all a mistake?" she whispered.

"Was what a mistake?" Satsuke asked.

Vera looked at the young man. "Nothing, Keeper," she replied softly. "Nothing at all." The wyvern sighed. _Marduk, help me,_ she prayed silently.

The group arrived at the house before long. Despite Arani's venom wearing off, Satsuke still felt as if his legs were about to give out, so he pushed Mala's wheelchair to keep himself steady. "So, that went a lot smoother than expected," Piper said to Tara. "Your mom actually seems kinda cool. You gonna forgive her? I mean, yeah, she did treat you like shit, but she seems to feel bad about it."

Tara looked at the echidna. "She does," the arachne replied. "It's like I told you: arachnae are many things, but we're not liars." Tara thought for a moment, then continued, "I do. I'm still pissed that she hurt Satsuke, but I get why she did it." She then grinned and said, "You of all people should know that we can be quite rough with others.

"Most of all, though," the arachne concluded, smiling wistfully, "I'm glad to finally know my father."

"Your dad _is_ hot, you know," Piper said with a smile.

"Keep that shit up," Tara snarled, "and I'll throw you so hard you won't be able slither straight for a week."

"Calm yer hairy arse down, Legs," Mala said with a smile. "Yer dad is a handsome devil, sure, but ye take after 'im."

Satsuke stumbled, causing the wheelchair to lurch. "Sorry," he said.

"Aye, don't ye worry about it, Chum," the mermaid responded. "Ye had a rough night."

 _To put it mildly,_ Satsuke thought to himself through the haze in his brain. _I know Tara's breed's venom isn't lethal, but I never want to go through that again._ "I'll help you get to bed," Tara said after the group stepped inside, "and get you some painkillers so you can sleep. If you need anything, just let us know."

"Thank you, Tara," the young man said, smiling weakly.

Meanwhile, Guu watched quietly as the others bade Satsuke good night. Like Satsuke, the slime was having trouble concentrating through her conflicted thoughts. _I should never have let him clean me up,_ she seethed internally. _It was so much easier when I didn't care._

 _It was so much easier when I didn't know._

Like most slimes, Guu was a very simple creature before she gained a modicum of sentience. Unfortunately, that moment happened shortly before the Fukushima disaster. The side effect was that her intelligence quickly escalated, as did her anger. Still, her main drive was the same as all slimes: seeking moisture. So, she set out through the sewers, becoming more polluted as she went forth. With the added pollution came the desire for revenge on those who destroyed her home.

She didn't become fully sentient until she met her first human, a young policeman named Satsuke Nakamura. She didn't reach any higher level of awareness until she first experienced kindness from this human.

She never had a sense of self until a human gave her a name.

"Oy, Gooey," Mala shouted. "Ye goin' t' bed or what?"

"I'm coming, Fish Fucker," the slime snarled half-heartedly.

The mermaid raised an eyebrow, then shrugged. The pair were met downstairs by Vera, and soon they were in their respective bedrooms. The toxins in the slime's body boiled with rage. _I was doing just fine until you made me clean, you fucking pig,_ she fumed. She then screamed as she shot several jets of acid at the steel walls. "You bastard!" Guu shrieked through the darkness. "Why did you make me fall in love with you?"


End file.
